I'm writing this on a disposable account because I don't really want this tied to my main.

20 years ago I knew a guy who was really, really good good looking. He was short (like 5'5) but had Brad Pitt level looks. Well, Brad Pitt if he'd had a substance abuse problem for 15 years, but still that caliber of handsome. I don't want to give his real name, so we'll call him Richard. Richard wasn't very tall and had a self admitted "small dick" but he had the kind of facial features women just stared at. He'd enjoyed the company of many women, and probably could have enjoyed that of many more had he been less driven to snort blow. In the time I knew Richard, I saw three different women give up on him every getting clean.

For reasons I was never sure of, Richard quite liked me. I think his affection stemmed from my complete disinterest in anything to do with coke. Most of the people he ran with were cokeheads or worse (baseheads). I should not have to tell you what a bunch of sketchballs that demographic is. Even as his looks began to wane due to age and drug abuse, Richard never had much trouble attracting women. He saw me not succeeding with women and attempted to give me some advice, and even in one instance tried "a hand off" as he called it and steered a woman toward me (it went disastrously, but that's another matter.)

I can still vividly recall his words: "It sounds cliche but there's two things you need to do: don't give a shit, and strike when the iron is hot." I watched him do it. He was only moderately interested in what women thought of him, just enough to ascertain if talking to them was worth his while. He made his moves almost immediately. He did get rejected, but he was already chatting up another woman before the first was done telling him "no."

Flash foward to a few months ago. I met a woman in a grocery store. She appeared to be reasonably cute, and looked like she might clean up quite well if she hadn't been working at a grocery store for 8 hours. I handed her some coins and she counted them with near Rainmain-like speed. I was impressed, so I complimented her about it. My attention was not to hit on her. I saw something in her face change. For a microsecond she went from being a bored grocery store clerk at the end of her shift to a girl that was genuinely flattered. My words had impacted her. She gave me a smile that was decidedly not forced and said she'd been working in retail for a decade. I nodded, collected my groceries and left.

I don't frequent the store where this woman works very often. It's out of my way and I much prefer one that's much closer to me. I happened to be there in the early part of this month. I saw her there, looking like she was just wrapping up her shift. As I was checking out (with a different clerk entirely) I saw her chatting with coworkers. I didn't stare because that's never a good idea.

As I was walking out to my car I saw she was maybe 15 feet in front of me an her car was 2 empty spaces past mine. I reached my car and she stopped, quite suddenly. I didn't do anything but open my car door. She started walking again, got in her car and left.

I said to myself "trying to strike up a conversation with a woman in a dark parking lot is a bad idea" but of course that is just a lame excuse for not taking action at the exact moment I needed to do so. I also told myself "I'll go there again and try next time."

"Next time" was this evening and I learned that she's been dating a dude since the middle of the month, about a week after I caught her in the parking lot.

This is not a cool story of success. It's one of complete failure. It's also one from which I and anyone reading can learn. Remember the words of an aging cokehead, no matter how cliche they sound: don't give a shit, and strike when the iron is hot. There is no "later." While you're making excuses and planning the perfect moment, some other guy has gotten her number and made it official.

EDIT: One other thing I'd like to add. Oneitis is unwise and unhealthy. There are a lot of cute women out there. If one doesn't work out, start looking for another immediately.