Asking for a girl's number feels so mechanical and unnatural, especially if I feel like I haven't escalated enough by the end of the night. How do I change that?

youhawhat · 2017-09-04T11:50:08+00:00

Don't ask for the number. This makes it a question where they have a choice and in the buyer-seller mindset it knocks you down because you are receiving the number from them like a gift.

Instead what I always do instead of saying 'can I have your number?' Ill say 'Hey lets exchange numbers' or simply 'give me your number'. I think I learned that from RSD Max a while back and I can say that's one thing that really has worked for me and makes getting the number feel a lot more natural

roech · 2017-09-04T12:59:22+00:00

What I've found works well is to not say anything at all. My go to is to open my phone go to the add new contact form and just hand her the phone like that. This keeps the conversation going, and she doesn't feel like giving me her number is a big deal.

trifle_truffle · 2017-09-04T12:23:56+00:00

Don't ask for her number for the sake of it. Ask because you ant to do something with her. For example: you can ask her to go out with you some time or go to any event. And if she agrees, just take her number to setup the time. Alternatively, just say to her that you'd like to stay in touch, and take her number for that. Plus, ask for her number every time till it becomes a natural habit; and not having her number feels weird.

Schtemich · 2017-09-04T12:26:42+00:00

This may not be the most helpful answer in the immediate term, but it's the truth as I've exprienced it.

Over time, and as you refine your skills, you'll get better at achieving genuine rapport... which will make asking for numbers seem like a natural and obvious thing to do (for both you and the girl). From time to time you'll even have the girl suggest it (the first time this happened it felt like I had unlocked a new superpower!).

You'll also get more adept at identifying the girls that aren't worth your time. Some girls are very pretty, but if they have a personality that seems to be completely incompatible with my sense of humour, then it's not worth it and I move on. It's just awkward and a waste of everyone's time. You don't have anything to prove by persisting with every hot girl - sometimes it's okay to fold and wait for the next hand. So to speak.

In terms of how to solve the problem now, the best tip I can give is this: encourage HER to say things that you find interesting. If what she talks about bores you, the rapport will never be there, escalation will not feel natural and it's all for naught. But if you're genuinely intrigued by what she has to say, and you escalate in good time, everything falls into place with little conscious effort.

DariusSuirad · 2017-09-04T13:02:12+00:00

Look at it this way guys probably ask for her number all the time so unless you do it really awkwardly then she won't feel like it's weird. Maybe bad advice but just fucking do it man. Worst she can say is no.

taintedseal · 2017-09-04T11:56:16+00:00

Does it feel unnatural because you are not used to it? If so make sure you ask every time even in terrible sets. This is just to desensitise yourself so its not a thing anymore.

If it's not from the above then focus on only asking for it when you actually want it.

Personally, I follow Juliens approach to numbers, I only ask if logistics don't let me pull to mine or hers.

For Example Example 1: I approached the hottest girl in the club just as she pushed call an Uber on her phone, her friends were waiting to go as well, so pretty much impossible for me to swing this situation in the amount of time I had. I proceeded to have a 5 minute conversation which revolved around calling her lame for going home so early and how she just blew her chances to meet a cool guy and dance like an idiot with him. At this point asking for her facebook was completely the logical and natural thing to do, short good interaction, my intentions were clear and we were both keen to find out more about each other.

Example 2 Spent about an 20 minutes with a girl talking, dancing and making out then friends I didn't know she had (my bad for not screening that shit early) came out of nowhere. Grabbed her to take her home, before she left she asked "do you have a facebook or something." Why because it was the natural thing to do, my intentions were clear, interaction was good.

Example 3 Day game, chatting shit with this Spanish chick for about 20 minutes we had a good connection/interaction. Intentions were clear, I asked for her facebook so we could hang again (Once again friends were dragging her off). Wanted to keep gaming so didn't want to leave with her yet.

All these situations have a few things in common

1) She knew why I was chatting to her. Intentions were clear 2) Natural part of the conversation, she was leaving wanted to see me again or get the chance to know me better 3) Good interactions, I actually wanted to see these girls again because I felt a connection so asking was easy, I wasn't doing it just for the sake of it. But I don't feel any anxiety asking because I used to try number close any set.

Hope this helps

2017-09-04T17:50:09+00:00

I recently changed my ways with this.

The past three times that I've met a woman I've been interested in - after some good flirty conversation, I've just casually grabbed the closest napkin, business card, etc., written down my number, handed it to her and made some comment along the lines of "hey you seem like an awesome person...if you're interested in hanging out, let me know". This seems to keep both of you out of a relatively awkward situation, puts the ball in her court but also implies your courage/respect in handing over your number without bothering her too much. Has worked 3 out of 3 times thus far.

IAmDude · 2017-09-04T14:30:05+00:00

Invite them somewhere fun first, then get their number as a way of staying connected so yall can do that fun thing

treefrog24 · 2017-09-04T19:16:08+00:00

I haven't asked for a number in a long time. A better option is if she has Snapchat. It's a great opportunity to see what she's into and for her to see what you are into. If she posts something interesting, you can message her and comment on it. It's way more casual and personal and doesn't seems as cheesy as getting a number.

rmbarnes · 2017-09-04T12:13:09+00:00

It's just because you're not used to doing it.

shitwiththatass · 2017-09-04T14:03:08+00:00

If you haven't set it up to feel natural by the time you do it than it's going to be a lot harder and awkward to get it.

2017-09-04T17:36:11+00:00

Try asking when you close, without seeking logic in it.

moontripper1246 · 2017-09-04T19:10:59+00:00

Challenge yourself to not go for the number for a month. Straight up. Works. If you still push yourself to go for the lay. Like, you still game her up but you never go for the number.....she'll try to number close you. Haha and it's funny to see which girls have tact and which don't. Like some will be smooth as fuck and be like "hey we should do that thing soon give me...." and some will just be like "so are you gonna ask for my number????" Hahahaha.

Really, push yourself to do something hard. Pick up takes time, and your only gonna learn by restricting yourself to consistent action over long periods of time. Game up while intentionally not asking for the number until you learn something useful.

SCphotog · 2017-09-04T19:54:49+00:00

I'm not single anymore... not for a long time, but back in the day, I would avoid directly asking for contact information and instead tell the woman, in one way or another that I'd like to talk to , or otherwise see her again.

That lets her know I'm interested, without putting her on the spot. She can decide if she wants to give me her number, get mine etc... without so much pressure or awkwardness.

-AsadBajwa94 · 2017-09-04T21:37:30+00:00

I always have this mentality in my head: Why have one girlfriend, when you could have 10? It's all about abundance mentality there are 7 billion + people on this earth, if she doesn't want you right there, right that second, right that moment. She ain't worth it bruh, don't try to do too much. Stay stress free.

eosophos · 2017-09-05T00:03:26+00:00

Just say: "Let's stay in touch."

If it's meant to be, she'll say yes. And that's great. If not, she'll say no. And that's fine too.

aaamandadear · 2017-09-05T01:37:09+00:00

Offer her your number.

TinderellaWorldwide · 2017-09-04T12:02:08+00:00

Not sure if it's better but sometimes guys just give me their numbers instead. You could just say "here's my number"

2017-09-05T00:31:07+00:00

never ask, make it a statement.

"I really need your number"

Kiwispam84 · 2017-09-04T13:19:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nisaniquett · 2017-09-04T12:47:46+00:00

Simple: don't ask for the phone number, we aren't living in the 2000's.

Escalate the convo and try to add each other on snapchat and Instagram. Thats more natural these days.

Title	Asking for a girl's number feels so mechanical and unnatural, especially if I feel like I haven't escalated enough by the end of the night. How do I change that?
Author	Kiwispam84
Upvotes	179
Comments	43
Date	September 4, 2017 9:43 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6xze9f/asking_for_a_girls_number_feels_so_mechanical_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/asking-for-a-girls-number-feels-so-mechanical-and.1433133 https://theredarchive.com/post/1433133

Comments