Friendzoned with Best Friend, Cut Contact, Now She's Begging for Friendship Back, What Now?

pinacvlvm · 2017-10-23T02:21:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThrowawayPUA · 2017-10-23T02:57:10+00:00

We generally do not allow questions about specific women in specific situations, those questions should be directed to /r/askseddit. But I think in this case, I'll make an exception.

You are doing a classic "freeze out." It has a different meaning in other situations, but it applies here. The woman was getting everything she wanted, without you getting anything you wanted. It was appropriate to draw a boundary and freeze her out. Generally you keep her frozen until she re-engages. But here, she has re-engaged with another invitation to the friend zone. You should continue to freeze her out. If nothing else, you will teach her that actions have consequences, you will be doing a favor for the next guy she thinks of teasing. It is possible she might re-engage with more than platonic interest, but she could still easily entice you into the same situation. So do not cave in. Stay frosty, pal.

hobbygod · 2017-10-23T01:25:51+00:00

I'm not an expert, far from it, but nobody's responded to this as of yet so I guess I'll give it a shot.

Id say if you value her as a friend then just be friends with her. It sounds like you 2 have a real bond. It probably won't be more then just friends, but if that's okay with you then just be friends. Being friends with girls isn't necessarily a bad thing. If you really can't be friends with her, then just keep doing what you're doing. She'll probably give up eventually. Again probably not the best advice, but hopefully it'll help you out.

BridgetheDivide · 2017-10-23T02:18:16+00:00

How good of a friend to you was she while leading you on?
Has she helped you meet other women?
Can you really not get over her?

If the answers to this aren't satisfactory, I say keep up focusing on you until such a time when you are truly over her.

drainboy · 2017-10-23T02:07:48+00:00

oh no. I liked my best friend a couple years ago. I remembered confessing to her and then getting rejected which looking back now I'm glad she did. I probably ignored her for awhile before being friends with her again. Currently, we rarely meet because we study in different school but when we do meetup it's truly fun.

So i feel that taking a time out from the friendship would be great to handle your feelings for her but please be friends again. It's just stupid to lose a friend because you like her.

fappoison · 2017-10-23T05:30:07+00:00

Hey bro. I am no expert but I am commenting on this because it's like you just have xeroxed my school phase experience.

Same late night talks, love you's, married things.....

All those relationship stuff by the name of friendship only. It only gave hope, nothing else. Coz I was not willing to loose the friendship. I was scared. I knew it was impossible for me to get beyond the friendship as she had already cleared but I didnot wanted to loose that precious friendship.

I did what you did. No texts. No calls. Same thing happened. She was uncomfortable.

But nothing changed, as soon as I started talking with her. Now she started ignoring me.

I found out that she had a boyfriend now. I killed me in my heart. I cried. I was in 1st year of college after all. Even I had a gf in college (new relationship) , I used to think about that girl. Suddenly, after getting frustrated by this friendzoned cycle, I left her (my friend) for good and focused on my new relationship.

The thing is, I think, if you had said "I want to be more than your friend a hundred times to her", and if she knows that you mean it, after that also she don't wanna accept that and keep you in friend's zone only, then my friend, she may be crying, but she is unlikely to make you her boyfriend.

You can try. May be your luck will help you. But treat carefully in these waters. You'll get pain.

My3centsItsWorthMore · 2017-10-23T10:46:20+00:00

She wants you to cave to just friends whilst refusing to give you a shot as more than friends. If you have feeling for her, then stay firm, because otherwise you will be forever stuck desiring someone who won't be with you back. Stay the course man, but might i also recommend you try dating someone else if you haven't already. Seeing you with someone else might prompt a revelation on her part, especially seeing that you can be with other women, and won't be her fallback. If so, you might find you have an option in her, if not, you have someone else to help you move on.

YorkshireBornNBred · 2017-10-23T01:48:23+00:00

The moment you have feelings for her, you can never be her friend. The friendship you have is nothing but a sham and a fraud. It will never be genuine.

Ask her out on a date and take things further, if she isn't interested in you then move on. You're investing time and energy into a lie if you feel you can still be friends. You just end up hurting yourself. You see her as more than a friend and she sees you as nothing more than a friend.

If you are in the friend zone, then speak to her a tell her what you genuinely think and let her know exactly why you no longer can be friends. Being a Mr Nice guy hoping that she would fall for you one day will just make you naive and ruin you inside!

fucking_rainbows · 2017-10-23T04:44:25+00:00

give her the pipe

2017-10-23T09:04:28+00:00

MAN. You should hold your ground and not be friends with her. Say let’s go to date, if she disagrees, say ok then bye. Do not in any way be friends with her, you will that way lose all respect. And there is no love if no respect. Search for Corey Wayne on YouTube. He talks ALL about women.

dereko33 · 2017-10-23T09:35:09+00:00

I went through something very similar. I burned the bridge hard. I miss her as a friend now, after another relationship.

My advice? Sure, spend time with her. You obviously like her, even if a lot of leans more toward unrequited love than platonic friendship. I would sincerely impress in her, as often as possible, how enchanting she is to you. Own it. Don't feel bad doing so. Be happy and fulfilled being honest with yourself. Their your feelings. You both can't help them. But she has to know. Tell her every little thing you love about her. Get it all out. Eventually, she'll listen, and she'll realize how hard it is for you, and back off, or on the other hand... good luck.

2017-10-23T11:22:37+00:00

I went through this with my best friend at 17. We're still good friends today because I kept no contact and figured out that I was a nice guy. Don't talk to her, just say you need your space and that if you can still be friends at the end you'll of course get back on to her.

There is no hope of being more than friends. Forget it completely. You've gotten to this point by being hopeful even when you had nothing to be hopeful for, for your own sake let her go.

2017-10-23T13:01:26+00:00

Yeah, don't ruin a friendship cuz you want pussy, it's nearly impossible to get out of the friend zone once you put yourself in it, she clearly loves being your friend

2017-10-23T04:55:33+00:00

I think the moment you get laid elsewhere, you'll feel better and will be fine with just being friends with her. If you care at all about being friends underneath your self-loathing, I hope you get some soon before she gives up and shit becomes unsalvageable.

RosstheMoss81 · 2017-10-23T01:25:49+00:00

Stand your ground...the only caveat being if you decide to be friends again create a rift by being mean to her. The inflicting pain will create a space from which to operate to seduce her. This technique not for the faint hearted.

Theef · 2017-10-23T09:33:25+00:00

If you really don't want to be friends, stay the course. Keep ignoring her. Block her so she can't keep this up.

But don't do it because it's a "freeze out" technique, or because you're "teaching her that her actions have consequences". That's immature, bush-league bullshit, and it's fundamentally based on and reinforces oneitis. Instead, do it because you genuinely don't want to have a friendship with her.

People will talk about an unbalanced relationship, as though friendships are tit-for-tat. You didn't get nothing from your friendship with her, though, it seems – you found it valuable, and were afraid of losing it, which is why you hid your feelings. Of course, it backfired, because ultimately you were being dishonest.

It's clear that a different sort of relationship is not on the table. Don't try to manipulate her into changing her mind about that. Just take what is on the table, or don't – both of those are fine, respectable options, now that you're actually being honest with each other.

kyro_dagger · 2017-10-23T03:05:28+00:00

To be frank, I don't have any experience about this but I'll try to give you my two cents. I say that both of you meet up and discuss your relationship with another. I feel as though you might have some things that you need to get off your chest, and she might has some words to say as well.

For instance, you said she gets jealous when you talk to other girls or bring them up, ask her why does she feel like this? Does she truly care about you as a friend or does she see as a guy that she can drag around to feel "validated". Tell her straight up, that type of behavior isn't what genuine "friends" do to one another. Also, I would ask her in her mind why she feels the need to toy with your emotion if she is not genuinely interested in you?

I guess what I am saying is that you two should probably sit down and have an honest conversation with each other. And then from there you can decide to keep this friendship/relationship or forget about her and move on with your life.

Hope this helps!

NorrisChuck · 2017-10-23T05:46:19+00:00

Run, she is realizing that the wall is in sight you are her best choice left and you dont want that leftover meat, move along, there are many girls out there that would respect you and your feelings.

SeinoMore · 2017-10-23T07:37:46+00:00

One big question here is: is she sexually attracted to any man at all?

It is possible that she is asexual. She likes the company of men. She she loves men. She loves you. She may want a romantic exclusive relationship with you but she is just not interested in sex.

It's worth figuring this out because if she is she is interested in being sexual with other men and just not you then she is using you as a convenience until someone better comes along.

She is 29 so it is unlikely that she wouldn't know this but if she is not interested in any other men at all then you both have incompatible goals; you want to be sexual and she doesn't.

Be careful, even if she does cave in and sleep with you, you get married and even have children then it's possible that that will be the end of sex, for good, as she retreats back into her shell again.

If you decide that you want to be sexual with other women and you have her tagging along as a friend it won't work out. You have some big decisions to be made.

My guess is that she is asexual and loves you but can't tell you that because she knows it would probably be the end of the relationship. Persuading an asexual person to be interested in sex is the same as persuading a gay person to prefer the opposite sex. It ain't gonna happen.

You definitely have the advantage here as you are coming to your prime but she is getting closer to having to find a mate if she wants children so if she wants to get married and realises that her options are narrowing you'll be the prime target.

In short:

She is either using you and waiting for a better man.
She is asexual, can't tell you but wants to keep you.

intergalcticity · 2017-10-23T02:11:13+00:00

I don't have time to analyse other replies and see what's going on but in my opinion I feel sorry for her and you should give her a shot , I'll be frank because nice guy to nice guy you should've made moves so don't try to put her in a deep end for not liking you back it's kinda selfish to me .

Title	Friendzoned with Best Friend, Cut Contact, Now She's Begging for Friendship Back, What Now?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	43
Comments	53
Date	October 23, 2017 1:09 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/784djp/friendzoned_with_best_friend_cut_contact_now_shes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/friendzoned-with-best-friend-cut-contact-now-shes.1435666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435666

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