How do I go from a nice flatline conversation to being edgy, witty, and flirtatious during dates?

2018-04-12T21:03:56+00:00

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recyclablebanthas · 2018-04-13T02:23:16+00:00

1

How do I go from a nice flatline conversation to being edgy, witty, and flirtatious during dates?

Simple. This requires information. So you need to pay attention and listen.

Right now your focus is probably on "what do I say?" and "what do I do?"

When really, the answers to these questions are NOT inside of your head, so it's a waste of time wracking your brain trying to come up with information that's being presented outside of yourself.

Pay attention and listen. People want to be understood and women will more or less literally show you and tell you how they'd like to be picked up on.

2

I thought we got on pretty well despite the problem I’m having with turning my conversations sexual and fun.

Good god this is one meme I really wish would die.

You don't need to turn the conversation "sexual." In fact, this is usually a great way to make sure you don't have sex. It's common knowledge in the PUA community and has been for a long time. And yet a lot of dudes out there trying to sell their PUA business keep perpetuating this myth.

Truth be told, if you are ADVANCED to the point that you shouldn't need to post here (like you can reliably get to the bedroom when you want, already) then this is something you can play with. But it's NOT some sort of fundamental thing in game to be "sexual" in conversation. It's something advanced guys do to up the difficulty curve when they get bored.

And fun? You don't need to be fun, either.

EDIT: 2b

What is necessary? Not making the conversation sexual, but physical escalation.

And yet we have a lot of guys out there trying to segue into sexual subjects, who have no idea how to pull the trigger.

3

I did crack a couple of jokes and poked some fun at her, but it could tell at the end of the date it was pretty average overall and there wasn’t much of a spark.

So you read somewhere that you should neg a girl and be funny. But this is false; there is no cookie cutter, universal way of getting at a girl.

You don't need to crack jokes and you don't need to make fun of her. In fact, being focused on doing those things might have made you come off desperate.

Meanwhile, she was waiting for you to actually show up to the date. Sounds like you really didn't, instead opting to try to be a stand-up routine.

4

I’ve watched tons of content on how to do this but in practice it’s not easy for me.

This means almost nothing. There is such a wide gulf between the kind of advice you'd get from David Wygant, Mark Manson, James Marshall, etc., versus what you'd get elsewhere.

5

instead of all the usual get to know you stuff for the entire date.

The ironic thing is that everything you've described so far is NOT the "usual get to know you stuff." You described being inside your head, negging/making fun of her, and doing stand-up, basically. How are you supposed to know someone or be known yourself, if you're:

Focused on thoughts inside your head?
Or doing performance, which is more one-directional, than two-way?

Truth is, you haven't even really been doing the "get to know her" stuff. This isn't complicated. Really.

You pay attention. Listen. Treat her like a person. Start off kino light and cautiously, and if she's down, she'll make that VERY clear in her body language.

2018-04-13T03:32:00+00:00

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DrSleeper · 2018-04-13T05:48:18+00:00

For me I’d always feel put on the spot and start panicking. I’d feel like I had to win with the next phrase or all was lost. It wasn’t until I started really leaning into that energy that I started feeling charming. I don’t know if that makes sense.

It’s saying the things you’re really thinking in the moment. Just throw it out there, weird, intimate, funny, stupid. Whatever. Usually my most random thoughts get the best response. You’re suddenly in control and realise you can say whatever, you won’t “lose”. There’s either chemistry there or not and if you’re not trying you’ll never find out whether there was any to begin with. Doing what you’re afraid of, that’s basically it.

acquired_ · 2018-04-13T04:38:11+00:00

Trying to be witty, edgy or flirty is a huge error

You're only stifled, try teasing

The easiest way to understand teasing is to speak to a 6-10 year old. They will stop paying attention if you do the "get to know you stuff" but if you're illogical, playful and curious they will be engaged. Same with women

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-04-13T04:25:38+00:00

Try to not be so focused on "succeeding" and relax and calm down a bit. Interaction is mostly nonverbal, she will detect your unease even if you are doing well verbally.

G-Dalf · 2018-04-12T23:51:46+00:00

This may not be the answer you're looking for, but take your buddy out for a beer or two and really pick his brain on how he does what he does with all the dirty details. I'm sure if you're honest about your situation like you have been here, he'd respect the fact that you're being vulnerable and coming to him for help...or he'll think you're crazy.

Either way, sounds like a good source of info right next door.

DontYouTrustMe · 2018-04-13T05:31:37+00:00

I like to joke about sex stuff to break the ice. Lightly tease her about something sexual. If you see her scrolling through her phone, bust her chops saying something like “swiping through tinder already?”

Then you’re talking about today’s dating scean and move into the worst date or weird dating experience she had. Have some laughs etc

subduedReality · 2018-04-13T06:25:02+00:00

What is your "goal?" If you only chase tail girls will sense this and ultimately string you along. If your goal is to "play" they will want to play too. This usually leads to other things. Just keep your focus on play.

aznology · 2018-04-13T14:41:38+00:00

1 Protip: The best way to drive sexual tension is shutting the fuck up and just holding eye contact. Master the tension asorb the tension.

Or be like me and make emotions logic. It's like playing a game where only you know the rules and triggers, poor girl is just there for the ride along. (using method 2 requires like a shit ton of reading and application, treat it like a skill, at this point I can escalade and have conversations that lasts for hours on end.)

circlhat · 2018-04-13T22:03:37+00:00

Assume attraction , make it about you , not her, she has her own interests, you have yours, now if your interests some how align without trying you have the spark. Stop worrying about turning her on and worry about getting what you want.

You want sex, talk to her for 5 minutes to make sure she ain't crazy, invite her back to your place for smoke,herbs,drinks,

that easy, 9 times out of 10 she will say yes, good luck, have fun, and keep cracking jokes you like

Lambdal7 · 2018-04-13T14:25:19+00:00

By having an air of alphaness around you.This should come from a place of value and being centered, not from a place of anger or arrogance.

This should already do 30% of the work. Don't focus so much on being edgy, but focus on creating a man to woman vibe and escalate physically.

ejpusa · 2018-04-13T06:34:49+00:00

And remember in the end, the goal is to merge 4 nuclei acids. That’s it. :-)

And DNA has been doing this for eons. :-)

Title	How do I go from a nice flatline conversation to being edgy, witty, and flirtatious during dates?
Author	tizzy95
Upvotes	178
Comments	43
Date	April 12, 2018 8:13 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8bt9i2/how_do_i_go_from_a_nice_flatline_conversation_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-go-from-a-nice-flatline-conversation-to.1444740 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444740

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