How to give off a hookup vibe instead of an I want to date you vibe?

IntensePancakes · 2018-05-10T18:30:25+00:00

You can have great, casual flings with girls without leading them on or just "not mentioning it." There are many girls out there who are looking for the same thing you are at this point your life.

Your initial job is to make the date sexual from as early on as possible. Lots of flirting, kino, eye contact, etc. You don't have to have sex on the first date (although it never hurts), but you should definitely kiss them and leave them wanting more. By the end of the second date you should be in bed together.

You don't need to explicitly bring up that you are only looking for something casual, but eventually (most likely) they will ask what your intentions are. Here is where most people fuck up. Don't lie, or just brush off the subject with a non-answer. If they ask, tell them straight up that you aren't looking for anything serious right now. This may scare some girls off who were looking for something more serious, but you didn't want a girl like that anyways.

The key to having a great FWB, in my experience, is to communicate that while you don't want to commit to them, you still see more in them than just someone to fuck. You want to make them feel valued as a person and not feel like a slut. You want to tell them that you think they are cool and like being around them, and want to do fun things or go on dates occasionally. But you can't commit.

Most girls will be totally fine with this, even girls that initially thought they wanted something serious.

If you do it this way instead of just avoiding the subject or lying about it, you can have great dates and sex with girls while still maintaining a positive relationship with them if things end.

I can't tell you how many girls I still talk to that I used to fuck years ago that are just good friends now. Being genuine will go a long way.

ImJustSo · 2018-05-10T17:28:50+00:00

Be seductive enough to score the date. Escalate on the date. Go to privacy. Bang.

You don't need to discuss things.

WIA20XX · 2018-05-11T03:02:45+00:00

Stop doing coffee dates.
Stop doing second dates.
Ideally stop doing dates.

If you just want to be the hookup guy, you have to think and act like the hookup guy.

Fun and chill, come over split a bottle of champagne/bowl of mj/tray of brownies.

Don't take her anywhere, other than a bar.

Treat her like one of the guys.

Flake, forget. You cannot be dependable or on time.

Hit on her friends.

No pressure.
You have zero goals.

Nothing about your life should seem like there is a chance that you'll ever do anything in your life. You're just the good times guy.

All that nice and dependable boyfriend behavior has to stop.

Girls hook up with charming bums all the time.

"He's fun" that's all you can be in her mind.

piperson · 2018-05-11T03:03:16+00:00

This is one of the most needed skills of seduction, to learn to communicate with your eyes and your body. I think of it like this. We have a brain that enjoys discussing ideas and philosophies. We have a heart that feels, for other people, good or bad. And we have our primal nature. It's what's going on when you are having sex. In reality, we are communicating with body language from the time you first lay eyes on each other. When she walks into the room and you notice how she walks, and she notices how you look. Every posture, every movement is saying something.

When you want to seduce someone, DO NOT be sweet and emotional. DO NOT talk about other people, gossip, or complain about anyone, and avoid complaining in general. And don't talk philosophy or politics (unless it relates to their study or job). You want to seduce this girl, so you need to talk with your actions and your looks. Confidence is key. You need to look completely unfazed, calm, relaxed, but pleasant and upbeat. As long as you stay positive and pleasant, it really doesn't matter what you say. Just chat about anything that comes up, provided it's not too serious, judgmental or intellectual. You are there to enjoy yourself and have a good time. You are not looking for anything serious. If she gets a little serious, it's important to back off and try to steer the conversation in a more light and carefree way.

I've found that when you first meet a girl, they talk in code. If they want to know your feelings on relationships, they will start to talk about an old boyfriend, talking about his shortcomings. This is to stimulate you to talk about your past relationships. Girls will never tell you that they are down to fuck. They leave hints. If you are keyed into her body language and eyes, you can see what's really being asked.

I like to be strait up and say, "I don't commit. I was in a bad marriage and commitment leaves me very unsatisfied. I'm just looking to hang out and have fun." I let them know what I mean by fun by slowly escalating keno, looking at their lips, eyes. Give them a sexy smile. Just keep it light and see what kind of eye contact and connection you can make with a girl.

Most girls I meet are down to casual sex. Girls are just as horny as guys but they have to be careful to not look like sluts. It's understood that you DO NOT chase her after the fact. This is a casual thing and you have to wait for her to give the ok. AND do not over compliment or talk affectionately to them. What ever you feel about them is between you and the grave. No matter how much you like them, just keep it to the most superficial compliments. The fact that you are enjoying yourself is indication enough that you like them. Go with the flow and never get anxious. This is a casual thing and will never amount to anything. Just keep it light and casual. And if you see them getting overly anxious or happy, step back an try to bring it back down to a casual, fun thing.

Just like guys, some girls are over anxious and needy. Avoid girls that give you a bad vibe. You want a confident girl who is not going to get crazy on you later.

I would avoid direct questions as well. Yes, you are here to get laid but you should never be that direct (unless you have that much confidence and can make it work). Talking about getting laid makes you seem creepy. Use your body language to hint at what you want. This will stimulate the sexual part in her and it will be very clear if she is down or not.

Just be confident and work the connection, eye contact and body language and it will all be obvious to both of you what's going on.

Willbo · 2018-05-10T23:58:59+00:00

Do yourself a favor and escalate as fast as possible. The girls that turn you down are looking for a relationship and would only have wasted your time. The girls who are looking to hookup want you to escalate as fast as possible and the longer you wait, the harder it becomes.

Trust me dude, I fucked up on this. One of my coworkers hinted that she wanted to hook up but didn't want a relationship. I knew that it would fuck up my work life so I just kept her as an office flirt. Now that she's left the company we still talk, but we're so much more emotionally invested in each other just because we've talked a lot. It sucks because I know that if we hook up a lot of emotions will be involved even though none of us are looking for a relationship.

2018-05-11T08:19:56+00:00

Drinks at bar dude. Hooking up on a coffee date gets more difficult because a lot of the time people do make plans with their day after seeing you, and hooking up just won't work logistically, not to mention there aren't a lot of opportunities to escalate physically over coffee, while at a bar sitting side by side, it's very easy and going back to yours/hers is just one question away

john9401 · 2018-05-10T23:36:04+00:00

Dude I would meet up for coffee and maybe flirt a lot so she gets the vibe you're into her sexually and kinda just keep being more sexual then sweet. Shell eventually get the hint you aren't looking for anything. I would just be straight up though because you don't wanna lead her on and thinking you're a douche.

marrymeodell · 2018-05-11T02:41:54+00:00

I’d want to know before meeting if the guy just wanted to hookup. But women who are looking for something more serious will usually ask you this before agreeing to a date.

Crimsonaxure · 2018-05-10T18:38:08+00:00

James Marshall vid on multiple relationships

TheThinkingMansPenis · 2018-05-10T16:31:46+00:00

Bookmarked! This is exactly what I need to know as well.

SimplePickup5 · 2018-05-10T17:47:41+00:00

Don't date online

Title	How to give off a hookup vibe instead of an I want to date you vibe?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	44
Comments	24
Date	May 10, 2018 3:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8ift06/how_to_give_off_a_hookup_vibe_instead_of_an_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-give-off-a-hookup-vibe-instead-of-an-i-want.1446339 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446339

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