The desire to be single and bang lots of women - do you "grow out of it"?

thinkingdude101 · 2019-01-25T12:54:39+00:00

It's tough, especially because society promotes the idea of male promiscuity as being a good thing. I don't think it ever goes away to be honest, you just learn how to deal with it.

I was in a 3 year relationship and was tempted many times. You get that itch like "I'm a man, I'm horny, it's not my fault, I still love her." You even start to hyper-rationalize things like "she won't know". In the end, I always came back to the realization that I would feel worse after than before.

Take a cold shower, for a run/workout or whatever and talk to yourself 'after the fact'. That is, imagine you cheated and then your partner starts doing something mundane beside you (while not knowing what you hypothetically did) like washing dishes or folding laundry. In that simple, quiet moment, do you regret what you did? I always did so I convinced myself my urges would bring me more sorrow than good.

My ex ended up breaking my heart in half after 3 years but I never regret being faithful. It's more about being faithful to myself than faithful to your partner, regardless of who you're with.

Tldr edit: no one will feel 'worth it to not cheat', you have to convince your self you're good enough not to cheat.

mileshendricks · 2019-01-25T15:57:40+00:00

Ask Jake Gyllenhaal or Leonardo DiCaprio if they're bored yet.

NilacTheGrim · 2019-01-25T13:46:42+00:00

Not really.

unproductoamericano · 2019-01-25T18:42:53+00:00

I haven’t. But I understand that once your testosterone levels drop, you will start to lose some of that drive.

I don’t think monogamy is healthy for some humans, frankly, and I will never go back to being in a monogamous relationship.

Bodegaz · 2019-01-25T19:04:48+00:00

I grew up conservative. Went through a bulk of women after learning how to and gaining confidence. After awhile it gets old and repetitive. It also desensitized me. I've seen tons of women. I've had girls cheat on they man, give me head in public and on campus, etc. I hardly get impressed and excited anymore.

I met a girl recently and decided to give a relationship a try after she asked me if we would ever be more than fuck buddies. Few months after now, I am bored and uncomfortable.

Relationships are a double edge sword. After you fall in love, you lose your pimp card and they will take advantage of that to bitch you up. It's in their nature.

You will grow out of it but you will also miss pimpin because it is in your nature as a man to pimp. So when you love someone and decide to settle, essentially you are giving up your manhood.

wolfbee16 · 2019-01-26T01:00:05+00:00

Idk I’ve hooked up with 6 different girls in the past 2 weeks and honestly id say I kinda want a gf. One night stands are cool but personally it gets tiring. I’d just like a girl to be into me for more than the one night. Im in college too which is why it’s not as hard. Idk if your young I say go meet women, you have the rest of your life to be faithful but with that being said, you won’t find that intimacy that you get with a SO.

magnuscarta31 · 2019-01-26T11:45:36+00:00

It's a very good question. I think it can be beneficial to have a period in your life where you are hyper promiscuous and come to the sad realisation that there is virtually zero fulfilment in having sex with an endless carousel of people. From that realisation you can enter into the next stage of development where you begin to seek a greater truth/ something with a bit more connection. Unfortunately, the old biological imperative is always there, someone once called having a strong libido "being shackled to the madman" and I think that's a good metaphor. Personally, the older I get, the more I think I will welcome a drop in testosterone.

NaturalPrefN3 · 2019-01-25T12:53:36+00:00

Sounds like you aren't happy in your relationship. It is normal to wonder. Not so normal to be active in pickup forums - could there be more to this than you realize?

Errantsquire · 2019-01-25T17:02:55+00:00

Married twice, and I wouldn't mind committing again but I've raised standards due to a lot of factors. I wouldn't say I crave lots of variety, but I'm starting to crave the game, the process, and the chase. I even tell girls straight up that I talk to a lot of women, and that I don't have an issue with being committed but it has to be right. I have a lower tolerance for BS now than I did because I live in abundance now, and when I do finally choose to commit again it will be from abundance, and that truely is love to me.

K3wp · 2019-01-25T20:54:24+00:00

This is always a sore subject for me.

I've been of the opinion that everyone, man and woman alike, should decide what they want and then stick to it. It drove me crazy when I was younger when I met women that had a boyfriend that they bitched about constantly and cheated on. Hey, don't have a boyfriend then. Same thing with married men that cheat.

31770_0 · 2021-12-31T16:40:44+00:00

Do it

Title	The desire to be single and bang lots of women - do you "grow out of it"?
Author	thinkingdude101
Upvotes	11
Comments	27
Date	January 25, 2019 12:45 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ajoocr/the_desire_to_be_single_and_bang_lots_of_women_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-desire-to-be-single-and-bang-lots-of-women-do.1461145 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461145

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