I have no idea how to approach girls and really need some help

Nicolas44001 · 2020-06-08T12:49:34+00:00

soooo many things wrong with your mindsets. First of all it's not about fairness, girls don't owe you a relationship, but i do understand your pain. It's better to tell yourself that life doesnt owe you shit, no one owes you shit, however there is what you can do for yourself. It puts the locus of control back in your hands and that's great.

Your race doesnt play either. If you're ugly, you can still hit the gym. Girls like looks. They do. Get big, and get lean.

Now as for approaching you're obviously a total beginner and there is no shame we've all been there, it's great that you want to better your life and especially at 19! Great you're not wasting time! What i'd recommend as a beginner is exactly saying the title:

Go with "hey, i have no idea how i'm supposed to approach you, or what to say, but there was no way i was going home without approaching you. Hi i'm XXX" and then trust that your brain will follow.

Know this, you're gonna fail a lot, a lot, a whole fucking lot. But it's normal, that's life. You find it normal to apply for job and get refused 90% of the time, same with girls. Be hard on yourself as in be critical, analyze your potential mistakes. But don't be hard as "im shit, im a failure etc" this will lead nowhere. Then i suggest listening to Todd V, he has great material, or Ultimate Man Project. Godspeed bro!

GrandMasterB19 · 2020-06-08T10:47:39+00:00

Just so you know, almost every guy is not getting girls left and right. Many if not most of them are probably only getting getting girls occasionlly here and there, plenty of them not at all. This seems to be pretty common in today's culture despite how promiscous everyone wants to appear on social media.

bigbogbog · 2020-06-08T11:19:55+00:00

Hey man I know it can be really hard and intimidating. I used to ask reddit for a solution that would just make me able to talk to and approach girls but the only way to learn how to do it is by actually doing it. You’ve just got to realise that girls are people too and they’re not scary or intimidating at all. I know this isn’t the answer you were hoping for but there’s nothing that’s just gonna make you able to talk to girls, you’ve just got to do it.

In saying that, I’ve found It’s always easier to approach a girl in a group setting at a pub or club or party or whatever. Talk about current events, how their day was, what interests you or they have. Maybe try tinder,bumble or hinge and see what works there. You’ve just gotta get out there and do it man. Good luck.

2020-06-08T13:22:33+00:00

I think you need to start seeing girls as just another human being. The more you elevate them and think of them as ‘other’ the more difficult it’s going to be. But really, we’re all just looking for connection and friendship, just like you.

hoeslikeacash · 2020-06-08T11:12:54+00:00

Simple. When you cant approach girls that you consider attractive for you,have to boost your social skill with girls who are not that atractive.

puffpuffpaaaz · 2020-06-08T13:38:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

edgeOfTheWorld12 · 2020-06-08T12:38:25+00:00

Its a skill.

The more you talk to girls the better you are at it.

And something that you need to understand is that there is always someone new.

If you lose this one, you will find another later.

First of all, talk with girls you learn with, ask for homework help or help them.

Try to understand what they like and talk to them about it. (Tvshows, games, art, whatever they like)

It takes time but eventualy you understand.

Dominus-Prime- · 2020-06-08T13:51:56+00:00

Well your first problem isn’t your race. It’s the fact that you use a poor external set of data (women) to determine or effect your sense of value and confidence.

odopeb55 · 2020-06-08T14:24:43+00:00

Just because you have done research on how “undesirable” your race is doesn’t mean it’s true. You just have to build more confidence in yourself. Do you have guy friends? I’m sure you do. There are plenty of girls that have some similar interests as yourself. First get more confident by doing things you’re good at to make yourself feel good. That way you feel like you can talk without stuttering and sputtering about. When you see a female you want to talk to just introduce yourself. Ask her what her major is. Ask about what classes she’s in. Ask about what she’s struggling in because maybe you might be really good at it and you could help her with it. Possible study sesh? Just find common ground just like you would talking to a guy. Be polite, listen to what she has to say, and maybe a the next day or the day after find a way to repeat some info she told you about herself so you can show her you were listening to what she had to say.

quinnmcd · 2020-06-08T13:13:03+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like:

How do I approach?
How do I get a number?
How do I talk to girls at college?
How/When do I kiss a girl?
Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

Here's some Beginner Material

2020-06-08T11:40:26+00:00

This weekend I approached by asking for a cigarette, then I started conversation but I can't remember everything because I was drunk as fuck, but as far as I know they were positive.

rickyroyal37 · 2020-06-08T14:03:10+00:00

Do a 30-day challenge where you approach girls daily. If you stick to it, your nervous system will reset itself and your anxiety will go away.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2020-06-08T14:57:45+00:00

So you claim, so you claim, loads of men in the PUA community who had 'bad race;' genes have shown how successful you can be. The reality is that men of Chinese, Indian types for example are generally more introvertet and shy; all unnatractive characteristics for women, so its only in that sense that women judge the group as a whole.

Argonnis · 2020-06-08T15:21:59+00:00

Trial and error my friend, you will get shot down and turned down a lot and each time you learn a bit more of how to adjust your approach. It's partially mastering your craft and being open and honest with yourself on how you go about your approach, sooner or later they will find out if you aren't and that can be a very dark hole.

2020-06-08T16:02:13+00:00

First of all friend, its not about fairness and disadvantages. That linear method of thinking will make you seem unattractive to women. It makes you look like you see it all as a game.

Second, don't worry about other guys. Seriously. If you try to replicate other guys' methods, you'll end up not getting the kind of girl you want. You'll end up getting the girl that THEY want (provided you even replicate their methods effectively in the first place). You have to do things your own way and you'll get the women truly attracted to you for you.

Start by being comfortable with yourself. Look in the mirror a while until you can comfortable say that you know yourself and your body. Play with your style of clothing and hair, find what YOU like first.

In terms of approaching a girl, be ready for rejection. It's gonna happen, to even the most attractive of guys. Once you think you're prepared for failure, try to approach women with an opening. DON'T MAKE IT THE SAME FOR EACH GIRL. Compliment her attire or make up, and keep up the conversation from there

awesomenesscoolguy · 2020-06-08T16:08:14+00:00

The best pickup line is “What’s your name?”. Read her body language when she tells you it, is she smiling, shocked, angry, etc. From there go ask her some quick questions. Where she goes to school, what’s her major, what year, etc.

Don’t go in with the attitude that you’re unattractive, because girls can sense this. Instead go in with high energy! Finish it off with an exchange of numbers.

YowanDuLac · 2020-06-08T16:20:26+00:00

I think that overall you need to socialize more , to build for yourself a new net of friends . Suggestions:

Enter politics
Start going to Church
Volunteer
More sport

These activities will teach you how to improve your social skills. Moreover if you frequent Yoga or Kickboxing Classes, you can usually find some pretty girls there. Enjoy!

TheMailmanic · 2020-06-08T16:39:18+00:00

Have you tried reading the sidebar?

2020-06-08T17:40:09+00:00

You’ve got to improve what you can to deal with the inner confidence. Hit the gym and improve your physique. Deal with your diet and lose any excess weight. Good news is that guys that would be considered butt ugly get with women all the time. It’s down to you to make it happen.

Good luck

anonwanttogetbetter · 2020-06-08T18:59:40+00:00

Good time to prepare whilst in lockdown still my friend. Everyone will be wanting to meet people once we’re let loose.

bikbooooi · 2020-06-08T19:11:38+00:00

Bro stop being petty, no one likes that especially not girls. My brother is 15 and he’s been working on his game by applying himself. Yes there are a lot of guys getting girls left and right out there because they put themselves out there. not all guys do but there are a lot of them out there. I myself having being seeing multiple girls and my buddy has banged 12 girls in the past 2 months. How? He’s been applying himself.

Start making money. Workout and get healthy. Dress better. Make sure you have good hygiene. AND DO GAME. Idgaf if you’re scared just do it. It is honestly tough approaching girls but you just have to keep trying. (Also dating apps help a lot)

Something that most guys don’t talk about when they get good at game besides the girls is that your confidence shoots to the stars. I remember when I started I felt like a GOD. I was talking to everyone, I became a social butterfly 🦋 and became pretty popular with people. Honestly the best feeling in the world.

Just keep approaching girls it’s the best skill to develop because it branches off to so many other things like confidence, making friends, expressing yourself, networking and public speaking. The secret is you just gotta start today whether it’s small like a hello or a full conversation and asking for an instant date.

bssftw · 2020-06-08T19:39:51+00:00

You need to exercise
Join a social group, maybe a frat if you're into that scene and can get into one, then try to hold a position of power within the frat so you have status
If you're bright, become a STEM major. You don't need to get a STEM job out of college but this is the best degree to get and you'd be a fool not to get one if you're capable of it.

Life post college, if you say you're "super ugly". Become career focused and strive to make a lot of money to be able to have a provider role for women if you're looking for a wife one day.

Also, study social skills/game/work on creating a social circle

2020-06-09T01:36:30+00:00

Make em wanna approach you pal, when girls got there mind set in someone they don’t stop. Maybe drop the off message but don’t show interest until they do.

STD_Tyler · 2020-06-08T11:55:40+00:00

Watch youtube until you find a mentor you resonate with, and invest in his course. No need to re-invent the wheel. It is a skill that must be learned and practised.

Title	I have no idea how to approach girls and really need some help
Author	jokertheden
Upvotes	38
Comments	40
Date	June 8, 2020 10:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gywxcq/i_have_no_idea_how_to_approach_girls_and_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-no-idea-how-to-approach-girls-and-really.1496918 https://theredarchive.com/post/1496918

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