Fellow men, how does one become a more interesting and thoughtful/thought provoking person? 🤔

recyclablebanthas · 2021-01-02T01:22:38+00:00

1

..... the pandemic has stunted chances at social dynamics and interactions.....

That's not downplay the massive effect that this is having on you and everyone else for that matter.

2

I'm starting to believe I'm quite boring and run out of things to say too quickly.

Well, the good news is that conversations are two-way streets so you shouldn't ever be in charge of holding up both ends of it.

As such, actively listening will go a long way in providing you more than enough material to discuss in conversation.

From there, following up on what she just said is often really effective.

This is basic calibration, a foundational skill in seduction and social interactions in general, really.

3

Example:

Guy: How have you been this week?

Girl: I've been good. Just staying in.

Even at an early point in the conversation like this, you have quite a bit to work with. You can ask something that encourages her to elaborate on why things are good. Like, "What's been good for you over there?" Or "What's been your favorite thing lately?"

Or you could follow-up on her "staying in" comment by asking her about her staying in hobbies.

Because of this, it's not really a problem if you personally run out of things to say. This implies that you're the one who generates everything said in the conversation, which you don't. It's not really about how interesting you are or having to be funny.

You could have a really long conversation based almost entirely off of following up on things that she has said. This also ensures that it won't be boring because people generally like talking about themselves. And if you open that door for them they'll take it.

You'll also learn a lot about whether you really like this person or not. Knowledge is power. France is bacon. :)

sayskate · 2020-11-30T20:32:47+00:00

Read. Read more of what you're curious about. Watch some throught provoking movies. That should be a good place to start

maximus_cheese · 2020-11-30T23:40:50+00:00

Watch stand-up comedians

Jhadiro · 2020-12-01T03:57:53+00:00

Just blurt. No hesitation, no thinking about what what to say, just say. The more you think, the less authentic and the less confident you appear. Even if it is the dumbest thing you could say, just stand behind it. Don't apologize or defend yourself if the other person puts pressure on your words.

OddJackfruit6 · 2020-11-30T22:39:07+00:00

Take chances socially even if it’s awkward at first, talk to people you’d never think of talking to, I befriended an elderly woman in my building and she’s a hoot with all her crazy stories and wisdom. Read, try new food, try something new. Get out of your comfort zone.

FoxTrotRiot · 2020-11-30T22:55:41+00:00

Honestly, try to develop higher levels of empathy or sympathy. Doing this will open up to seeing things in new ways which leads to far more insight. It also isn't topic limited. It's a great skill to have and will make your genuinely more thoughtful.

SometimesSleepin · 2020-11-30T22:32:22+00:00

Expand your horizons and try to find different perspectives, especially with things you find yourself to not like or agree with.

sayskate · 2020-11-30T20:34:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

champion117 · 2020-12-01T03:50:50+00:00

This may sound too simple, but, just do interesting things. Expand your horizon when it comes to hobbies. The more the better.

Known-Damage-7879 · 2020-12-01T08:00:23+00:00

The craziness of life really has no end when you start to look at it deeply. Once you get curious about life it’s like a ball of yarn you can’t help but pull on the string. Think about any domain of human existence, music, sports, movies, history, science, philosophy, religion...you could go crazy trying to find all the answers but seek out the truth of everything and you’ll never be satisfied

cassanova47 · 2020-12-01T10:11:19+00:00

One thing that worked for me : Learn teasing/ Banter

ImmodestPolitician · 2020-12-02T21:50:06+00:00

Become more interested in the other person. Read a lot.

Many women aren't interested in thought provoking ideas. They want to have fun.

the-dorian · 2020-12-01T02:57:38+00:00

Have wonder about this silly thing that is life, explore, and get to know yourself and the world around you (and us). You're probably more interesting than you think. You just think you are boring because you know everything about yourself. But also understand that other people think they are boring too!

Someone else suggested to watch some stand up comedy, not for the jokes (dont just regurgitate jokes - that will make you look even more boring and unoriginal) but look at how they are able to have everyone relate to a shared quirk about life and how they comment about it in a thought provoking and ultimately funny way. Whats the deeaall with airline food!?

How Not to be Boring

Meetmeinthe · 2020-12-01T08:14:50+00:00

Read and listen to podcasts. Start a podcast you'll be surprised how easy it is to maintain a conversation as you develop your podcasting skill. Get your best friends to be on it and talk as long as you guys can.

Burgess_Churchill · 2020-12-01T16:25:53+00:00

You stand out by not doing what everybody else doing. Don't qualify yourself, don't call her beautiful, etc. Learn to become very curious about people. Ask yourself, "What does this tell me about her?" For example, if a girl tells you about a time she recovered from an injury and she is into fitness then that tells you she is a strong woman. It tells you that she must have a positive mindset. It tells you a lot of things about her. Or if she is an actress, don't ask the usual questions like "What films have you been it?" ask her this "Can you tell me the process of stepping into the character?" Deep Questions. Another way to stand out is by being funny and challenging them. Combine both approaches.

letsgetlit2019 · 2020-12-04T15:00:33+00:00

There are some things that you can do. These are just a starting point, but if the conversation takes off, as they do sometimes, just go with it.

Be present. Don't think about what to say when someone is speaking. Respect their time, ask questions. If they stop speaking, make an observation, could be good or bad. You could hate their sweater, because it reminds you of that one time that... or they could remind you of a girl you had a crush on.

Ask people about their lives, their interests, Hope's, dreams and passions. Try to genuinely understand why they do these things. Ask them to describe the activity/experience/ Validate their passions, give your opinion, but don't make people feel "not cool" for liking what they like. The more you do this, the better you'll get at it.

Tell people about your passions, interests, things you want to explore, skills you want to develop. Tell stories about that one time that you... Or how you've recently been looking into... they (the other person) should generally be the focus of the conversation though so stop if you feel you're rambling.

The conversation should have some tension and release. Don't take things too seriously. You can make a joking comparison and exaggerate the shit out of it. He could remind you of Heath Ledger's Joker in that suit. She could remind you of the Joker.

You could also mishear something they said, make it sexual. If they talk about bananas, you can say how you heard of a girl "used" a banana that one time. Then jokingly ask if that's something they would ever do.

Use eye contact. Look in the person's eyes when they are making a point. Nod you head if you agree. Break eye contact briefly if you feel you are over staring.

Remember important details about the person like their name. The things they like, et. Cetera. This is important especially if you expect to have another conversation with them.

Finally, be okay with the silence. You shouldn't feel like if you don't fill in the silence with something, anything something bad will happen. Just be okay with that, take the time to think and maybe make another observation.

Extra stuff. People don't like to be viewed as naive and or innocent, ask them if they've ever done anything "wrong". Like some crazy sexual experience or a time they broke a law or stood up to an authority figure. If you don't have any discernable interests, try some new shit, let people know you would like to try something new. Let them suggest something and try it.

Title	Fellow men, how does one become a more interesting and thoughtful/thought provoking person? 🤔
Author	AmiablePenguin
Upvotes	22
Comments	27
Date	November 30, 2020 8:28 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/k44fk2/fellow_men_how_does_one_become_a_more_interesting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fellow-men-how-does-one-become-a-more-interesting.1506459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1506459

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