How to stop fantasizing about a woman?

kettlebell_workout · 2020-12-28T15:04:58+00:00

You are talking about expectations.

You create a plan. Something does not go by that plan. And that makes you unhappy.

So. Don't have expectations.

iceicebabyvanilla · 2020-12-28T23:14:54+00:00

Fantasizing is brutal man. Let’s change your mindset.

A long time ago, when I was a skinny fat dweeb that didn’t have any ability to pull, I would actively go out looking for attention and approval.

This was a manifestation of my delusion. That somehow, some way, I would be lucky enough to get some girl without taking care of myself.

It’s completely off base.

I started to hit the gym, focus harder on my career, picked up old hobbies (like sports), and told myself “I bring the party wherever I go.”

What does that mantra mean? When I walk into a room, my goal is to maximize my happiness and good time. I promise others will follow suit, because you’re now the dude in the room that gave others permission to do the same.

If you simultaneously adopt that principle, while ENSURING your actions align with your convictions, you’re not longer looking for approval, because you’re right with yourself.

I’ll repeat it again: When you walk into a room, you are the party (or whatever you want to tell yourself). You are the good time. It’s the truth, because everything you do away from pick up game manifests that.

Go out, have fun, and I promise you’ll walk away happy with a girl in your arm or pumped you had another great night w the boys.

mounircobra35 · 2020-12-28T19:18:18+00:00

For me I keep telling myself that love and relationships are absolutely not about calculations so if I start making perfect stories , I can be sure that they won't happen

-Mavs · 2020-12-28T23:06:05+00:00

The advice I always give to guys having this kind of problem is to think about her for a second; guaranteed she's a human being, right?

What does that mean? Her shit still stinks. She still has bad breath in the morning, etc. She could be bigoted, superficial, high maintenance, still live with her parents, and farts harder than you do, etc. Maybe she doesn't wipe when she shits, who knows.

Bottom line is: she's NOT THAT SPECIAL. She's only special when she's shown that she's a great person to be around.

scorp-rising · 2020-12-29T00:47:48+00:00

Make your life more interesting than the fantasy. Also, not sure “cycling girls” is the best way to work through your issues. It’s pretty toxic advice and sounds like the quickest way to get STDs and emotionally damage both parties. Fantasizing about the perfect relationship also means that you probably want genuine connection with someone. So figure out what someones traits are in that fantasy, what does your personality feel like and then work to cultivate them in yourself and find someone with those traits. You won’t get attached to a fantasy if your life is already interesting enough to you!

revente · 2020-12-28T15:45:29+00:00

Cycle between 2-3 girls to fuck, until you find a girl who you mutually like more than her and then make her your gf.

TravonM · 2020-12-29T00:49:29+00:00

Are you in abundance with women? Have you dated lots of women? You will quickly see that it’s all an illusion. Women have their flaws and insecurities just like any regular person. I used to fantasize about how great women are until I started dating them and realized the truth.

hunchobigbag · 2020-12-28T22:25:14+00:00

It's not something you can stop fam. But in all seriousness bro shoot your shot because shooters shoot. All you'll ever be doing is fantasizing if you don't go for it.

naughtychick9999 · 2020-12-28T22:48:43+00:00

r/limerence

D-Rock718 · 2020-12-28T23:32:58+00:00

You have to remind yourself that she’s just human and flawed like everyone else. No matter how great you may think she is. There is no perfect woman and no perfect relationship.

Cblack80 · 2020-12-29T00:35:59+00:00

I had a similar issue. I ended up having to cut ties with the person to get back to “normal” (whatever that is).

But yeah you cannot control the real reactions and perspectives of other people. Painting a picture like that inevitably leads to disappointment as none will ever live up to the images we conjure up for them. Just love and appreciate what you have and act genuinely.

Try not to overthink things

Philipparty · 2020-12-29T02:17:37+00:00

Its most likely avoidant attatchement. Youre tying your emotions and self worth to others. The best you can do is work on trye self acceptance and love (not the way you love someone who is perfect, but the way you love someone because of their flaws, or atleast along with them)

Also the podcasts Deal with it by Tracey crossley helps a lot

2020-12-29T03:21:52+00:00

Dude your a normal human. Thats literally how everyone is when they have a crush.

Sweetsweetvictory16 · 2020-12-29T14:12:25+00:00

One thing has helped me is comparing your feelings for her like how you would watching a scary movie. You already know the reality (movie isn’t real) but it can give you that feeling (scary movies can still scare you) Become aware of your feelings and know that’s just what it is - feelings

hob814 · 2020-12-29T17:16:29+00:00

Honestly the only advice i know it getting more women into your life. Going cold approaching and all that, just putting in your mind that there are other women in your life and you dont need to fanaticis about one

2021-01-01T05:45:06+00:00

Here's what helped me: fantasize about something better than that e.g. living in a waterfront mansion with a harbour view playing for either side in an el classico doing yoga or meditating on your own personal yacht administering a big freaking company doing philanthropy work doing that dream job e.g. navy seal, pilot or whatever u would love to do everyday

The point is to beat the cycle at its own game by fantasizing of something you've always yearned for

Hope that helps

Fireworksaboveme · 2020-12-28T20:39:08+00:00

Follow your mind and heart my guy. There’s a reason you keep fantasizing with her especially if you guys have relations

2020-12-29T01:21:51+00:00

I fantasize cause that’s the best way to cope for being ugly.

yurifca · 2020-12-28T23:45:32+00:00

This is a manifestation of neediness. Just get a gf

Title	How to stop fantasizing about a woman?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	72
Comments	59
Date	December 28, 2020 2:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/klrp3p/how_to_stop_fantasizing_about_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-fantasizing-about-a-woman.1507767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1507767

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