Boyfriend told me I should improve my blowjob skills - having low self esteem atm

TrinityNeo333 · 2024-03-31T17:23:09+00:00

He needs to tell you EXACTLY what he wants you to do. You could read 1,000 books and watch tons of videos and at the end of it, come away with so many different techniques because different guys like different things. So you need to know what HE likes. And he needs to tell you!

Your mouth is "too cold"? Wtf. Once it all starts moving, creating friction, everything warms up, but that's such a weird, picky thing to say.

BudgetInteraction811 · 2024-03-31T21:29:52+00:00

Guys who are younger than middle aged and can’t sustain an erection are usually jerking off too much. Maybe he should worry about his erectile dysfunction rather than blame you.

Fae_Leaf · 2024-03-31T22:00:51+00:00

Does he watch porn? Pretty much the go-to reason for trouble getting aroused or not enjoying what should otherwise be a very pleasurable experience.

I am NOT good at doing this, and my mouth is relatively small. I struggle a lot do maintain techniques and need to come up for air, need to give my mouth a break, etc. But it's not hard to finish my husband since he detoxed from porn. So just a thought there.

No idea about the cold mouth thing. You take body temp readings in the mouth because it's always warm. And then the movement and everything from the actual act would make it plenty warm. That's just a weird one to me.

i_luvr0tten · 2024-03-31T18:22:53+00:00

The way he is going about telling you to 'learn more' is rude. I get that we all like things a certain way in the bedroom, but the way he is communicating his displeasure isn't right. Partners need to communicate with one another about what they like/dislike. Everyone is different. Simply being told to go 'learn more' by reading books, looking up info on the net, watching videos doesn't help much because in the end, he will still have particular tastes.

Ask him directly what he finds enjoyable. And while you're at it, you should tell him some things that YOU like. Continue to communicate during the act - is this how you like it? Also tell him that from now on you expect clear communication between the both of you when it comes to matters such as this, because the way he went about it affected your self esteem and has caused you to not even want to be intimate. Be honest.

Your mouth is 'cold' according to him? Um, that sounds like a bunch of bs. Unless you just ate some ice cream beforehand, mouths are warm. I've never heard of such a thing.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2024-03-31T23:15:43+00:00

He is blaming you for his problem.

Traffy7 · 2024-03-31T17:22:55+00:00

He is being weird.

Him wanting better blow job is fine, but saying get better isn’t help.

You guys need to communicate and ask him what he want and doesn’h want, what is that he doesn’h like in you BJ ?

And ask him to tell you when he like it or not, what zone and all.

As for cold mouth, this is weird.

Just use lot of saliva, play with balls when you suck him.

Show passion and that you really want that dick deep in you mouth.

Look in his eye while sucking him.

Use you tongue at the tip of the penis.

This should be enough, if not ask me to communicate more and go watch some porn too.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2024-03-31T18:37:59+00:00

Your mouth is cold… uhg, I don’t know what to do on that one. Maybe have some warm ginger tea beforehand? It may not be “cold” but rather some mint sensation from toothpaste or mouthwash you use… ginger or cinnamon would be “warming” spices instead of cooling minty spices, so that might help? I would experiment with it and see what he likes or if anything helps him!

At the end of the day, he’s failing to communicate his needs and is being a bit of a jerk about it by making it a “you issue” when you have been together for years and presumably you know what he (used to?) like… please try not to let this affect your self esteem. He might also be having a “him issue” (like ED, low T, etc) that is causing him problems that are easier to blame on you not being “sensual enough” vs him not being aroused enough.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-04-01T02:28:58+00:00

All men like things slightly different. If he wants better bj’s he needs to tell you how to give him better bj’s.

Ask him what he likes, and if he can’t tell you then tell him that until he can, he shouldn’t complain.

MaddogYZ450 · 2024-03-31T19:15:34+00:00

His limp dick is his problem, not yours.

Camdino234 · 2024-03-31T22:10:20+00:00

Go slow and stay near the tip starting off..

Draager · 2024-04-01T16:35:44+00:00

Not a good situation. Not your fault. Some might say it's porn, but also the issue is he may have an EX who gave really good head and really enjoyed it, dominated him with it. When a guy gets fantastic head, he is really vulnerable and letting himself get milked. It's a really sublime experience and is indeed a bit of submission. She should act like she is greedily taking something that gives her powers. Tickling his nerves and making him beg for mercy gives her a feeling of power and control. Lot's of dirty talk, begging for the cum etc. Makes the guy feel beautiful. Guys love that, they don't like feeling like they are nasty and forcing themselves, demanding and failing yet again.. diminishing his ego.

So in my opinion, the way to give him the BJ of his dreams is to tie his hands to the bedpost and dominate him. Refuse to give up till you get what you're after. He may not understand what's going on at first, but I swear it will make all the difference. He's going to appreciate that effort and if he has half a brain will lie there and enjoy.

Jasperbeardly11 · 2024-03-31T22:43:50+00:00

Have him command you and do exactly what he tells you during the blowjob

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-03-31T19:43:33+00:00

Hmm. Not sure about the “cold mouth” thing unless you have a habit of eating ice cream right before you go down on him. If the air temperature around you is cooler he may arrive at that sensation because now his cock is wet and it’s exposed to the open air.¹

As far as getting better, he’s being a bit rude about how he’s going about it, when what he should be saying, is explaining to you what he individually likes.

My free piece of advice on this is: Don’t leave out the undercarriage.

In general, you will need to be more gentle with his balls, but you might try some light tickling or gentle pressure on them while you’re doing other things. And by gentle, I mean very gentle, unless he tells you otherwise. And if you use your mouth on his balls stroke his dick while you’re doing it.

There are some advanced level stuff involving prostate milking (doesn’t do a thing for me) and rimming² (Verdict: “OMFG!”) but I’m not sure I’d waste that on this guy.

¹ My primary university girlfriend would always say that my cock felt warm in her pussy, which also felt quite warm to me, which doesn’t make a lot of intuitive sense, but I just assumed it had to do with ambient air temperature. I didn’t overthink it because well, I’m a man, and because she was happy and I was happy, so why not leave shit alone, you know?

² If you don’t know what this is, don’t Google it. It’s NSFW. It also seems really weird/gross until someone does it to you and then you’re too busy talking to God and explaining “I get it now!“ if you do decide to do something like this in your future life, just remember: cleanliness is essential.

AutoModerator · 2024-03-31T17:02:31+00:00

Title: Boyfriend told me I should improve my blowjob skills - having low self esteem atm

Author SnooFoxes6420

Full text: My boyfriend told me he likes receiving blowjobs (and I also like giving it to him) but he says I need to learn more to make it pleasurable for him. I tried to and watched tutorials and read stuff and we did it a few times. And he also liked it. But again he says the same and I am having negative images about myself. It usually happens whenever he is not being able to get aroused and he seems frustrated. We have a great relationship and have been together for years now. He told me again recently to learn more abort blowjobs. I try to take it positively and appreciate that he is telling me and wants to make things enjoyable for us. But I also feel weirdly under pressure. He also recently said my mouth is cold which makes then experience not so pleasant for him. I don’t know what to make of that. Like I have a normal human body temperature and this is something I am sure how to fix. A part of me really wants to improve and give him a good experience. Another part is experience withdrawal for any sexual engagement with my boyfriend. Also feel a bit low about myself..

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hangun_ · 2024-04-02T14:20:06+00:00

Practice makes perfect

Simpleflower999 · 2024-04-20T22:33:18+00:00

It’s a him problem 😘

Title	Boyfriend told me I should improve my blowjob skills - having low self esteem atm
Author	SnooFoxes6420
Upvotes	25
Comments	23
Date	March 31, 2024 5:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1bsf8qs/boyfriend_told_me_i_should_improve_my_blowjob/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/boyfriend-told-me-i-should-improve-my-blowjob.1513501 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513501

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