Waves of sadness

Heavybluecrab · 2024-05-13T08:46:39+00:00

Bro I spent three months like this. Never thought it would end, but slowly you cry and have bouts of grief less and less. Don’t be surprised if there’s someone else she seeing, being that sudden.

Stay strong mate.

NanceARK · 2024-05-13T02:56:09+00:00

9 months from a 13 year relationship/marriage. I’m 30 and it feels like the world has crashed around me multiple times during this all. I have my moments but at the same times I find moments where I have panic attacks and waves of sadness. Especially when I hang around people who are in relationships, I just don’t know how to be single. It’s never been a thing for me. So I’m working on that at the same time.

People have mentioned working out and eating good foods. Both of those are very helpful. It helps regulate your body which will most likely going through hell at times. Stress can eat you alive but don’t feel bad when emotions hit you. I’ve had to leave restaurants, work, concerts all because my emotions caused panic attacks. That is normal and it’s best to let them out, do not suppress them.

If you are into journaling I recommend that. It helps me some.

I hope for the very best for you!

AdForward5729 · 2024-05-12T23:25:00+00:00

Harsh words. This is the storm! It will mold you or destroy you. Feel everything. Release if you have to. Nothing wrong with that. Cry it out and keep pushing as we Kings know how to. All these people responding to you been there and they will be still here. Lean on us. Walk with us and talk with us.

Confident-Crawdad · 2024-05-12T21:25:38+00:00

Today it's one month since she sent a Dear John and a process server within 45 minutes of each other.

It's going to really, really suck for a while. Then it'll just really suck.

After a while, if you take care of yourself, lawyer up, hit the gym (or any physical activity that will tire you out) and eat right you'll have fewer and fewer bouts of crying. They'll still come. Especially when you dwell on what should have been, dreams she's smashed, when you see a sentimental object like a souvenir of a trip when things were good. Let it happen, feel it fully, then let it wash away.

You'll make it. We'll make it.

alifeofpeace · 2024-05-12T20:02:00+00:00

Ouch man sorry. Go to church. Pray. Work out. Call friends. Family. You’ll get through this

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-05-12T19:11:41+00:00

It will be better later. It might not ever fully fade

It will get better tho.

I’m two years out from the end. Divorce is just about to be final

Yesterday my first post marital GF dumped me.

Three months

I hope it doesn’t take me two years to find my next three month GF.

jeffs2bp · 2024-05-12T18:35:56+00:00

https://youtu.be/TJ5U37MkA2E?si=e0oeDCbVjHzznIzC

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-05-12T17:25:12+00:00

It’s ok,its ok you feel like this. I felt exactly the same and I promise it will pass. You are in shock and the very early stage of grief. Be kind to yourself. You will get through this. Lots of good men on here ready to listen if you need us.

kublakhan1816 · 2024-05-12T15:51:25+00:00

It’s grief. It will take you maybe 2-3 months just to stabilize. Look up the steps people go through. You’re going to be doing all of those steps. Maybe in different order. So give yourself some grace. Start seeing a therapist. Friends and family. Start exercising. Then you’ll probably need to get to work on the divorce and uncoupling. Then you got a lot more work than today. Today is just about surviving. Getting sleep. Eating. Not spiraling or doing anything stupid. Stay grounded. Lean on people to help you stay grounded. But one day at a time and it does get better. You’re at the bottom of the mountain. If you’re asking if there is a top, yes. It’s up there. Don’t give up.

Android_1234 · 2024-05-12T15:21:28+00:00

Welcome to the club you never wanted to be a part of. You are super early in the process and it's going to continue to be extremely rough, but will slowly get better with time. This too shall pass. I was blindsided in January of this year and exactly in the same spot as you. I had to take a couple weeks off of work because I literally couldn't focus and sobbed more in those two weeks than in the past 30+ years.

Do not feel bad about crying, feeling your emotions, grieving, etc. It is all part of the process. Your entire life was ripped out from you in an instant. All your future hopes and dreams now have to be thought out again. Those don't need to happen right now. Take some time to process this, but in the coming weeks you're going to have to make a decision. Are you going to allow one person to control your happiness, emotions, self respect or are you going to take control of that for yourself? There are a lot of great resources and ideas to help you through this time here. Gym, eating right, and meditation are a big three that will give you some immediate relief.

I am so sorry you're going through this, it is by far the worst pain I've ever felt in my life but I am a testament to tell you that it does get better and I still have times where it's absolutely crushing but they keep getting shorter. Keep posting, reaching out, DM, whatever you need. This place was a key part of the beginning of my healing process. Thinking about you brother. Hang in there.

Side_Effect_23 · 2024-05-12T15:20:51+00:00

Welcome to the club you never wanted to be a part of. You are super early in the process and it's going to continue to be extremely rough, but will slowly get better with time. This too shall pass. I was blindsided in January of this year and exactly in the same spot as you. I had to take a couple weeks off of work because I literally couldn't focus and sobbed more in those two weeks than in the past 30+ years.

Do not feel bad about crying, feeling your emotions, grieving, etc. It is all part of the process. Your entire life was ripped out from you in an instant. All your future hopes and dreams now have to be thought out again. Those don't need to happen right now. Take some time to process this, but in the coming weeks you're going to have to make a decision. Are you going to allow one person to control your happiness, emotions, self respect or are you going to take control of that for yourself. There are a lot of great resources and ideas to help you through this time here. Gym, eating right, and meditation are a big three that will give you some immediate relief.

I am so sorry you're going through this, it is by far the worst pain I've ever felt in my life but I am a testament to tell you that it does get better and I still have times where it's absolutely crushing but they keep getting shorter. Keep posting, reaching out, DM, whatever you need. This place was a key part of the beginning of my healing process. Thinking about you brother. Hang in there.

Title	Waves of sadness
Author	DIYBoom
Upvotes	11
Comments	12
Date	May 11, 2024 7:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cponjq/waves_of_sadness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/waves-of-sadness.1518287 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518287

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