Toddler transition between parents changing demeanor

Direct_Cattle_6638 · 2024-05-18T14:06:20+00:00

Be vary wary of the terminology “home” it’s an incredibly powerful alienation tactic to frame the place where the mother lives as “home” and where the dad sleeps as “dads house”. Start enforcing that your child has two homes now and demand that your wife do the same. Also kids Noahs age thrive on routine, switching from room to room is gonna set you back a ton, pick a room and deal with the discomfort for the next few nights. Good luck man, it gets better!

Mynewadventures · 2024-05-17T14:39:38+00:00

He will adjust.

When I was dealing with this same thing many years ago, what worked was my two year old Daughter sleeping with me until her having her own room (clothes, toys, etc) at Dad's house became exciting.

Your ex seems to communicate well...do the same and don't take offense.

Simple-Captain3421 · 2024-05-17T13:24:22+00:00

I had this issue with my then 6 year old. The whole day would be good but at sleep time, he would get very upset and ask for his mom. It took probably a couple of weeks after which he was fine. Surprisingly, I noticed that my son slept much better at mine as opposed to how he used to in the family home. As others have said, it takes time and kids do get used to the change in environment.

My ex would email the same points i.e. son sleeping long hours at her place so presumably not sleeping well at my place, being anxious, feeling tired at school (apparently the school complained to the mom), waking up at nights etc. etc. etc. I replied to each of her points in a patient and polite manner and discredited all her allegations. Kept a track of my son's sleep time (what time going to bed, what time getting up etc.) and sent it over to her.

Guess what- she produced the emails in the court to show that our son's sleep is disrupted, which was one of the points for her to seek more custody. The court read the entire conversation, including my replies, and sided with me granting 50/50.

So, if your ex/wife is emailing you, be smart about it and document your experience.

andvue27 · 2024-05-17T05:36:49+00:00

This was the first time he’s stayed with you? Was it the first time sleeping away from his mom? I’m not a professional, but I suspect that this is perfectly normal behavior. This type of adjustment will take time, possibly a long time. Young kids seem to place a big emphasis on their sleeping arrangements.

I have my 5yo 50% of the time, and my ex and I have lived separate for nearly 9 months… yet sleeping can still be a struggle sometimes. Bed time is the only time he expresses that he wants his mom. Or sometimes he doesn’t want to leave mom during an exchange, because “he’s scared sleep by himself”. I’m confident this is largely because his mom absolutely refuses to encourage him to sleep in his room at her place and insists on co-sleeping with him every night. Is that maybe the case with yours?

cschoonmaker · 2024-05-16T21:13:40+00:00

It's not uncommon for a child to have a "favorite" parent, especially when that parent spends more time with them during the course of the day. In my case I was the "favorite" because I spent the most time with both my kids during the course of the day. I got them up in the morning, got them breakfast, took them to school, picked them up from the after school program, helped with homework and made dinner with them. I don't know how long the time to be comfortable will be because I think every child will be different. My concern here is the fact that your Ex made it a point to email you about it. It almost sounds like they may be setting you up for a custody change to increase their custody time and decrease yours. I may be wrong, but giving that detailed of an email for something that is normal when couples with kids split seems a bit odd to me.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-05-16T21:06:19+00:00

It will be ok man. Do not give up your time with your child. It sounds harsh but they truly do just settle into it. It takes time. Sounds like you are doing a great job for him and he will take time to adjust. I would limit your responses to your ex unless you two get on well, if that’s the case just say to her, how you are doing All you can and he will adjust with time and love.

Title	Toddler transition between parents changing demeanor
Author	Nyoobwsb
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	May 16, 2024 8:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ctniy1/toddler_transition_between_parents_changing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/toddler-transition-between-parents-changing.1518688 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518688

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