How important is disrespect? The eye rolling, tone of voice, taking passive aggressive cheap shots?

I’ve put in a lot of effort to understand she has triggers and a traumatic past. I’ve also tried to be less sensitive and let things go. But— now other people are noticing her actions and asking me why I put up with that behavior. Unsolicited.

Am I being too sensitive?

I’ve pointed out her behavior and she always dismisses me. Says that I’m too sensitive or it’s my pride. Even says it’s my ego and that’s just the way she talks so deal with it. I’ve gotten so fed up. I am so frustrated that I’ve called her a Bi*ch frequently during disagreements.

The irony here is that she thinks the B word is so disrespectful that she felt entitled to smack me in the face. I’ve never put my hands on her btw but she has hit/thrown things at me on a few occasions.

I know this is just one side of the story, but am I crazy or is this really bad? I often think what would happen if I ever smacked her— and it’s why I’m seriously contemplating divorce. So that won’t become a reality.