M20, Scared of going on dates

Silly_Randy · 2024-05-24T02:04:55+00:00

Let me tell you something brudda.

Someone thinks you're ugly.

Someone thinks you're beautiful.

That's it.

You won't die finding out who thinks you're great and who thinks you're not.

Think about it this way.

YOU also think people are ugly and some are beautiful. You're not any different. Welcome to the human race.

Go get your dick wet.

DaygameCode · 2024-05-23T23:24:06+00:00

If those things happen, then you man up and take it like a man without acting butt hurt about it, or being a whiny cry baby who can’t take humility lessons from women.

If the girl thinks you are un unattractive, so be it. She is just telling you her truth, stop running away from people’s truth, face them and use them as motivation to grow and become a better more attractive version of yourself.

appolonysian · 2024-05-24T02:12:40+00:00

The only way out of that is through it, and it’s only gonna hurt more the longer you put it off.

Whenever you have trouble doing something that you honestly wanna do, say this: “yes this is uncomfortable and may very well hurt, but you know what will hurt more? Being in this same place 10 years from now.” Acknowledge the discomfort and keep going.

scottaltham · 2024-05-24T07:09:21+00:00

Go date and do nothing but be 100% you. Yes there will be women that think you're ugly... And why on earth would you want to be with someone like that? And then there'll be women who can't get enough of how you light up when you're talking about something you're passionate about.

Women are less about looks and more about confidence, drive and passion. They want to ride shotgun in your life and need to be sure you have a destination and that you always check they have their seatbelt fastened. They're looking for direction and safety.

It's less about ugly Vs hot, most men will admit they're a solid 6/10.

Do you, and don't change that for any woman. They'll come and want to be in your life when you're not trying to be what they want. They can smell desperation and fakeness a mile away.

I guarantee that on any date, she'll be way more concerned about how she comes across to notice how nervous you might be.

Easily said than done, but try and go into dating with no expectations. It's not about finding a wife, it's about having fun and learning about people. That's all.

And when things suddenly just flow, and she pays attention and interest, and it all just feels easy. That's the girl for you.

pickupmid123 · 2024-05-23T22:09:08+00:00

Try therapy. It’s a game changer

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-05-23T22:20:01+00:00

You are a man. You need to step up.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-05-25T00:35:27+00:00

Basically you want to use talking back to cognitive distortions in cognitive behavior psychology.

What if it goes badly

What is likely to happen in a date that doesn't work out?

or the girls thinks I’m ugly or unattractive (since we started talking off of hinge)

Did she see your pics? If she thought you weren't attractive enough to date, she wouldn't have agreed to the date in the first place.

I Feel insecure and scared about going on dates

Is your insecurity about yourself only about the way you look? What about your looks do you not like?

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-23T21:12:09+00:00

OK, so let's say some girls think you're ugly or unattractive. Why does it matter?

Particular-Tax4511 · 2024-05-23T21:16:04+00:00

Nobody can help you with this. Only you can deal with it.

Dolphinfucker5000 · 2024-05-23T23:01:40+00:00

Go on a ton of dates, it eventually goes away

NflJam71 · 2024-05-24T01:23:51+00:00

You probably have some stuff to work through. I heavily suggest seeing a licensed counselor or therapist. Whatever you're looking for on the romantic arena, confidence is the key variable. Sounds like you have a few things to work through first.

demyen96 · 2024-05-24T02:54:40+00:00

She wouldn't have liked your picture on hinge if she thought you were ugly. Put yourself in situations you're uncomfortable in, and in due time, you won't feel near the amount of pressure as when you began. That goes for anything in life not just women.

imfjcinnCRAAAAZYHEY · 2024-05-24T03:02:34+00:00

You know what's the best part, you can mess up in the next city over with a girl, and no one will ever fucking know how bad it went.

wmap99 · 2024-05-24T04:00:33+00:00

Her thinking you're ugly is her problem bro

HCHDGSH · 2024-05-24T04:49:04+00:00

This is precisely why loving yourself is important. If you know who you are and what you want, you embrace yourself and think you're worthy, and you're happy and grateful to be you, you validate yourself through that so that you're not seeking validation from women.

From that point you're just looking for women that fit into whatever spot you have open for them in your life. If for whatever reason she doesn't want to be in that spot, you don't even worry about the validation aspect of it, you just realize you're incompatible and move on.

This is a form of outcome dependence, because you need the outcome to tell you about yourself. You're afraid of girls thinking you're unattractive because if they do, you'll start to question if you are unattractive. But if you already see the attractiveness, worthiness and value in yourself, you KNOW there are girls out there that are attracted to you, and you're just looking for them instead of worrying what it says about you that there are women that don't think you're attractive. They're just not for you, and now that you found that out, you move on to the next.

Dandys3107 · 2024-05-24T05:30:46+00:00

Well, there is no other way to get physical than to meet in real life. Make up a good date plan, maximize your looks. Also, it's the matter of a proper mindset, you are getting to know to girl to check if you would be a good match, she is also the one that should earn your approval, if things would not go your way you can simply end the date prematurely to limit the damage. You have not that much control there, but you can always find another flower.

Dynamix86 · 2024-05-24T12:03:10+00:00

She probably thinks the same thing

Londondry012 · 2024-05-25T00:04:45+00:00

You should confront that insecurity. What experience made you feel this way. What's the actual feeling?

Usually you'll find that the reason for feeling like that is unjustified. E.g. you feel small/worthless because you were bullied. You feel ugly cause you are overweight/short.

You'll find that you are living by the standards of people. Not confronting your insecurities will stop you from being genuine with a girl due to fear. She'll see it, and wouldn't wanna be with you.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-05-25T04:25:47+00:00

The only real way I've ever gotten over my fear of anything is to do it until I'm not afraid anymore.

DaygameCode · 2024-05-23T23:20:05+00:00

If those things happen, then you man up and take it like a man without acting butt hurt about it, or being a whiny cry baby who can’t take humility lessons.

7asas · 2024-05-24T15:00:58+00:00

Try direct approaching 100 girls. You won't be scared of anything anymore.

Title	M20, Scared of going on dates
Author	ShitSeeekerz
Upvotes	28
Comments	26
Date	May 23, 2024 8:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1cz34rx/m20_scared_of_going_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/m20-scared-of-going-on-dates.1519335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519335

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