I’m now around 4 months separated and have been doing a lot to rebuild. I’m healing through therapy, working out, reconnecting with old friends and cultivating new friendships. I’m doing the whole looksmax and male grooming thing.

These all feel like great things to do right now. No doubts there.

However, I have a big motivation to learn pick up, approach women, date etc. I seem to oscillate between feeling ready and not ready on a daily basis which seemingly indicates I’m not ready. I’m also a committed Christian so very much trying to work out on where I stand re dating and processing divorce guilt.

I think it’s best to avoid any form of dating until at least after the divorce is done (later this year likely - it is so far not contentious and my ex and I are on reasonable terms). Probably longer though.

My question is… how did those of you who resolved to avoid dating lay down the desire to do so? I am not especially traumatised by my separation and learnt a lot in the relationship about what I’m looking for. Did you also go cold turkey in relation to sexual release? Did you also give up porn etc? If attractive women showed you signs of interest, did you resist or communicate unavailability etc?