How am I to get over my exwive that I loved so much

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-08-26T15:21:39+00:00

Write out a list on your phone.

Write out all the sh!t she did that annoyed you.

Write out the more unattractive aspects of her personality and appearance.

Every time you romanticize her or your relationship, pull out that list and read it.

You'll see she was just a regular person you were with and not some fairy angel.

As for loneliness, volunteer with a charitable organization.

If you have time to sit around and be sad, you have time to go help people.

Jgreatest · 2024-08-26T12:06:37+00:00

You have to separate and become your own person. The shared business has to end. I used to use distraction at first, over working, exercise, other women, etc. But I realized there will always be those moments of reflection and loneliness. So, I eventually embraced it for what it was. You have to go through it, feel it, and then let it go. That part was brutal. But with time, you gradually start to lose the pain of heartache. There's something to be said about exercise because it is really a natural antidepressant and, in my opinion, is better than any drug on the market. You have to put her and her present actions out of your life and become the version of yourself that she could never have. We as men carry the burden of being discarded and carrying the weight of the blame whenever a relationship ends, but know it's not your fault and there's probably nothing you could have done. We tend to pedestalize the good times while women concentrate on the bad. It's because they are pre-wired for neurotisism. One of the hardest lessons you will learn in life is letting go. But once you learn this, you can become unstoppable. Best of luck to you friend, and know you are not alone. There are many of us out there who share this same story and have come out on the other side better men.

Chris_Chilled · 2024-08-26T11:57:21+00:00

It’s completely normal to hold onto memories of someone who might not have truly existed the way you envisioned them. Sometimes, we idealize people or situations, creating an image that feels comforting, even if it doesn’t align with reality. Letting go of that idealization can be tough, but it’s also an opportunity to refocus on yourself and what genuinely makes you happy.

Start by diving into activities that resonate with you—whether it’s revisiting old hobbies or discovering new ones. Hitting the gym is a great way to channel your energy positively, and it comes with the bonus of boosting your confidence and overall well-being. Look for activities that involve others—join a club, take up a sport, or attend social events centered around your interests. These are excellent ways to meet new people who share your passions, allowing you to build a fresh, supportive social circle.

Avoid the temptation of dating apps for now. Instead, focus on meeting people organically through shared activities. This way, you’re more likely to connect with others who appreciate the same things you do, laying the groundwork for meaningful friendships and, eventually, relationships.

Remember, this journey is about rediscovering who you are and what you love. As you build a new social network, you’ll find that the longing for that idealized person fades, replaced by the fulfillment of living a life true to yourself.

Sea-Equipment7431 · 2024-08-26T11:04:51+00:00

A few things from my point of view.

Woman pretent they want monogamy but in fact, they do want to get dicked around, other woman empower each other for this behavior to just fuck around freely.

BUT society absolutely put males on a leash, since the moment you are born, you are deemed a sexual predator who cannot control his dick, we then get programmed and conditioned to be this fantastic husband material that works hard, commits to the wife and becomes docile.

I have seen both my Mental and Physical health erroded because there was no ME anymore in the relationship and in fact it was all HER.

Once they are done with you, they toss you away like its nothing, emotionally and physically they are already sitting on the next dick.

Do yourself a favor, start to love yourself, hit the gym, get ripped, become your manly self again, pay for sex, uncomplicated things, start traveling, take up hobbies you really like and start living your fucking life to the fullest because YOU also matter!!!

Devalue the previous relationship to a bare minimum, to me my ex only means to me a surregate mother so i can have 3 amazing boys, nothing more. She was only there to give birth to 3 kids for me.

Dont romantize your ex, it was all part of her show, the love, the fun everything was just a temporarily show she put up. In a few year she aged like milk, she is a bitter men hater after increasing amount of failed relationships, she lost her value as a potential partner, while YOU are very valuable, because you are consistent, a man who takes care of his own, you have taken beatings mentally and physically and guess where woman are very weak?!

WillyT_21 · 2024-08-26T10:51:35+00:00

It's okay. Seriously. You'll have people on here to tell you to "man up" and stop being a pussy.

I was married 15 years before I was betrayed. When men marry we marry for life. We commit.

So it's understandable the feelings you have for her.

You have to remember this is a process.

Once we finalized......I used to sit in dark rooms and cry. Because I was put into a situation that was of no doing of my own.

And that was the greatest lesson I learned. People have free will.

Free will to make things work......or free will to be selfish.

I've heard that for however many years that you were married....it takes about half the time to recover after divorce.

I'd say that is pretty accurate. It took me around 7 years to fully accept and let go. Nine years before I was able to truly be okay.

My advice to you as someone who has been where you are........just be in the moment. Trust your gut and the process. The thing to keep in mind is that this is a game of inches. And some days you don't even get that.

I just was always trying to progress in some way. Whether it be myself......my son......or relationships. I wanted to work on becoming a better person and not bitter.

And believe me.......I had every right to be bitter for a long time.

And with all that said........my son started kindergarten. I was not only confronted by my wife's new husband.....but also a co worker who was instrumental in our divorce vs reconciliation.

It was a lot to process but I took it like a champ. Because I was healed and "better".

Hang in there friend. Work on the little things. You'll get there. I promise!

koboboba · 2024-08-26T10:16:54+00:00

Go on vacation, have sex with women, you will forget all about her.

RevolutionaryAge8959 · 2024-08-26T10:09:23+00:00

Hi bro, went through the same years ago. Your ex is not the same woman, you are not the same man, even if you managed to come back things will not be the same and most chances is that it will fail and this time will be for good.

Move to the next page of your book, focus on being your best version and search women around your hobbies and passions not date apps.

Title	How am I to get over my exwive that I loved so much
Author	Accomplished_Shop822
Upvotes	12
Comments	17
Date	August 26, 2024 9:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f1kdoz/how_am_i_to_get_over_my_exwive_that_i_loved_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-am-i-to-get-over-my-exwive-that-i-loved-so.1528424 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528424

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