in 2018, me and my now ex wife moved from UK to norway (where she is from) to try a different lifestyle. we lived in stavanger. her dad lives 12 hours drive north in svelgen. twice in the 11 months we lived there, we drove up to see him and her half sisters, extended family etc. she met up with her cousin a few times in the same house, he lives there as well and came over to see her. she went over to his place also on her own a few times while i stayed at the dads house with our daughter (at the time 1.5 years old)

end of 2018, we decided it wasnt for us, and went back to UK. i got a job doing grocery deliveries, she stayed home taking care of the kid. we have another kid born in april 2020. summer 2022, she goes back to norway to svelgen to visit her dad and extended family with the kids without me, cos i was stuck with kidney stones, plus in 2021 had chrons bowel surgery removal, and was suffering badly with body changes and it was the cause of producing kidney stones so couldnt travel.

she comes back, about a month after, says she wants a divorce. i simped and suggested that maybe she would be financially better off in norway doing the beauty therapy and hairdressing she was doing here, for more money, and childcare is completely free there, so she would be able to get financial stability for her and the kids better than if she would stay here and i only suggested it thinking about the well being of my kids.

2 days later, find out she had her mother shit talk me for 2 years at least trying to convince her to leave me. also found out she was sexting 2 other guys, one of which was on her phone screen lock with them kissing with some AI placed hearts and stuff. i changed my mind, didnt want her to leave with them, so became suicidal and drove to ER, spent the night, went back home in morning, went to a lawyer, explained, he wanted 6K to get a court order in place to prevent her leaving with the kids. didnt have the money, so couldnt get it.

simped and tried to reconcile and do mediation for months, she refused. drove her to the airport after my daughters birthday end of 2022 with my dad, said my goodbyes to the kids, gave her a hug, and that was that.

some months later i figure out she is with the guy i saw on the phone lock screen, who lives in svelgen, where she moved to. i just assumed she met someone new there.

in 2023 april i go to see my kids, and stay with them in the house she rents. she went out every night to see that new guy while i take care of the kids and sleep the night there. we arent even divorced yet.

i go back again in august 2023 to visit the kids for a week, this time i stay in an airbnb. i was one day swapping kids car seats from her car into the one i was renting getting ready to go out for the day. i arrived at her house earlier than she expected i guess. we agreed the time, but apparently she was wrong. she opened the door all flustered and red. invited me in for a drink, i said no i didnt need to. while i was switching car seats, a guy exits the house quickly and i noticed huh.... i recognise that face, weird.

october 2023 final decree comes from court and we are officially divorced.

have not been back to see them since, been working to save up money for my own place and leave my parents dinning room floor ive been stuck on since all this happened.

we made plans for me to come in october this year. i booked the tickets, airbnb, car this morning. i phoned this morning to speak to my kids a bit. ex is also there and asks me why i booked airbnb... we agreed i can stay with her. i said "well, its just incase things dont go well and i have a place to stay. u have this guy living with u now and i have tried to say hi and speak to him multiple times and hes always ignored me, i dont know who he is or how his behaviour is".

she says "you have actually met him, that time we came in 2018 to visit my dad".

speechless as i was and confused i said "but.... you told me that was your cousin that came to visit us at your dads? right?"

she says "well yeah... hes my cousin"

so... i just spent £618 total to go see my kids for the third time in 2 years, and was gonna come and stay at your place, and i had already put aside all my resentment and moved on and been trying hard to be a decent co parent on the phone to the kids for ages, and get along with you as a friend, and at what point where you going to tell me "oh this is my cousin, i commit incest with him every night while my kids are in the house sleeping, and oh that time in 2018 when you first met him, yeah... i fucked him then too".

i am so shocked right now. i wish i just died. fuck humanity. fuck life.