Need to vent…

Aggravating-Pear-769 · 2024-10-02T18:42:33+00:00

Im afraid of this. Still early in my divorce process but if I were to date a woman with kids I personally would go out of my way to clarify with the kids that I am not their dad. It bothers me to imagine if my stbxw brought someone else in to be ‘dad’. She came from a divorced home so maybe she knows better. This isnt going to be amicable so who knows.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2024-09-30T19:53:19+00:00

Definitely don’t scream at him that you’re his only father (mine did that when I was a kid).

Not sure of how your ex his or this guy. Your kid is a kid, he doesn’t know any better. Just remind him you’ll always be his dad and you’ll love him forever.

It’s tooooough. If this guy is decent, just look on the bright side your son as another positive role model. But I also know how hard it feels to think you’re being replaced. Hang in there.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-09-30T02:59:50+00:00

I think the original text could be clearer and more coherent. Here's a revised version:

"Hey, I understand that this is a place to express your frustrations, but when it comes to the issue with your son's two dads, if you have a reasonably good relationship with your ex-wife, you should talk to her about the fact that he's not your son's biological father. However, legally, you may not have much ground to stand on unless she or her partner poses a risk to your son. I get where you're coming from.

The best way to handle this is to focus on being your best dad when your son is with you. Try not to speak ill of your ex-wife in front of your son. Be present for your son as much as possible."

Independent_Owlz · 2024-09-29T20:04:41+00:00

Classic parental alienation.

Yoye-22 · 2024-09-29T18:39:16+00:00

Appreciate the input gents, I took the high road with my son and most likely would the same with STBXW. I recognize that right now I am in no position to have constructive interactions with her since I am really hurt and processing her moving on. With my son I am more concerned about bringing this to her and have her had a conversation or try to explain to him what to say and what not to say when he is with me. I want my son protected from our issues and don’t want him to be conditioned to lie or not express himself freely when he’s around me.

techrmd3 · 2024-09-29T17:13:53+00:00

yep I feel you. This is the worst part of getting divorced. But having an ex-spouse effectively undermine your relationship with your kids... is the worst.

And I have heard all the excuses ... I don't care. the Woman most likely made the decision to divorce, now it's "no accident" that she is seeking a new meal ticket or bedwarmer. It's not an accident it's a consequence of the woman's decisions.

If it helps though advice I have been given is to keep your relationship with your son intact. And in the fullness of time, this "new dad" will likely not be around in the coming years but you will be.

Noobinpro · 2024-09-29T14:47:38+00:00

He doesn't have two daddies.

It is okay to correct him and say " you have one mommy and one daddy, I am your daddy."

Btw this is a form of parental alienation.

Slowloris81 · 2024-09-29T14:24:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Need to vent…
Author	Yoye-22
Upvotes	10
Comments	11
Date	September 29, 2024 1:58 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1frtsql/need_to_vent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-to-vent.1531540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531540

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