How do I stop hesitating?

Squali_squal · 2024-10-09T03:14:36+00:00

He?

Anyway. I'm currently practicing no hesitation when it comes to talking to people. And the issue is simply that you think stopping hesitating is a passive thing, that at some point you won't feel the urge to hesitate and you'll finally speak.

False!

It is not a passive thing that magically goes away, it's an active fight against your ingrained habit. You simply fight the habit to hesitate. How do you do this? You don't give yourself the time! I call it "putting my brain in my mouth".

You see someone, you think a thought (and don't say you don't think of anything, most of the time you actually do think something but you hesitate to say it) the second you think of something you cut yourself off from thinking and say whatever you thought to that person! Once you do this like 3 times, not even that much honestly, you'll realize "Wow I didn't die, wow that didn't go that bad, wow honestly I was freaking out over just saying that?" And it's much easier to just say what's on your mind to strangers, ESPECIALLY if you bring a positive vibe, it's actually hard for people to respond negatively or harshly to a positive vibe, and if they do it's usually the minority and they must have had a REALLY bad day, one that even your positive vibe can't even over come.

So fight against your habit and simply DO NOT give yourself the time to think long enough to hesitate. Cut the time between thought to speech short.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-10-09T03:49:22+00:00

Talk more to people, be more sociable.

I see guys who always overthink stuff tend to come from sheltered background, or a typical loner. That’s why they keep “talking” to themselves, always rationalize everything, always make excuses. Less “self-talk” and more talking to others.

5thquad · 2024-10-09T04:24:34+00:00

I would suggest by picking one line to practice on people, regardless of gender or attractiveness. If it's spring, people will have their jackets or scarves out. You see someone wearing a nice jacket, tell them and follow up with, I've been looking for something like this. Ask them where they got it.

That's it. Don't pressure yourself to carry the convention further. In a few tries you'll automatically think of ways to add more to the exchange and will want to do it. Just keep adding to that.

And then find another opener and repeat the process till it becomes natural and get rid of approach anxiety.

You will never get rid of it completely, but if you can even talk to 8 of the 10 ppl you want to approach that's a huge win.

vcs002 · 2024-10-09T07:14:54+00:00

Act before you think, put yourself on a deadline of like 5seconds. If you think too much you might get insecure and give up, but actually it doesn't have huge problems if you respect the lady during the approach so just go for it before your kind think of reasons to give up and be insecure. (It's Tripp Kramer advice, not mine. From the book "magnetic")

TakeAChillPill99 · 2024-10-09T05:15:21+00:00

I think it’s great that you’re reflecting on these feelings of disappointment and regret. The more you can connect the behavior of not-trying with the feeling of disappointment, the more you’ll begin to resist the behavior. You’re already on your way 🤙

Dandys3107 · 2024-10-09T08:09:38+00:00

Realize that opportunity will be never perfect and you will obviously be a bother in some way, but in the end a little bother can flourish in a passionate romance or happy relationship. And remember that you need to take initiative of fulfilling your own needs and desires, no other person but you will suffer from keeping them unfulfilled.

epimpstyle · 2024-10-09T11:43:17+00:00

You just need a good motivation.

What if someone told you that if you approached a woman in the next 5 minutes, you would get $10k? Will you hesitate or jump out of your chair and run down the street looking for women? This example was extreme, but a more realistic example is the possibility of spending a night with her in a hotel room. Is this a good motivation?

Individual-Bobcat947 · 2024-10-09T16:59:17+00:00

I was the same when i was alone. Since i started to improve my acting skills in social cirkle who push u when the time comes without hesitation and improvise, it get better

Amaran345 · 2024-10-09T19:50:53+00:00

Ideally he should foster a secure communication frame between him and you so that you can freely talk with him as needed without fears of him acting in a negative way towards you, due to overstepping unknown boundaries by accident

Title	How do I stop hesitating?
Author	GEEZUS_956
Upvotes	17
Comments	12
Date	October 9, 2024 3:00 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fzhv6r/how_do_i_stop_hesitating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-hesitating.1532498 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532498

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