I'm going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. While living together, I thought we were both happy - three kids, a nice house, vacations, fancy cars, and so on. Yes, we sometimes had disagreements like any couple, but I believed we were a good family, devoted to our children and each other. I never saw it coming, but about six months ago, I noticed strange behavior and secrecy from her. It turns out she’s been dating someone else. When I confronted her, she told me she hated me and had only stayed with me for the kids.

Now, as we discuss divorce terms, she’s agreed to an uncontested divorce, but wants to keep the house. In return, she doesn’t want alimony or child support (our youngest is 17). My attorney pointed out two things: 1) My ex will need to refinance the house to remove me from the mortgage, which could be problematic given the current interest rates, and 2) because the house has substantial equity (about $1.1M market value vs. $450K mortgage), it may be fairer to sell the house and split the proceeds.

My lawyer suggested including a clause in our agreement that if she fails to refinance within 90 days, the house must be sold. She also advised I shouldn’t move out until the agreement is finalized or, if contested, until the process is complete. The reasoning is that if I move out, I’ll have to pay for both my new place and the house, which would reduce her incentive to settle.

While I understand the logic, living with her during this process is emotionally painful, and it could drag on for months or even years. I want to move on and start my life free of this toxicity, betrayal, and stress. Is there an alternative solution to this situation? Has anyone else faced something similar?