Im a male, men’s mental health focused therapist. Would love to hear from a few people who’ve had bad vs good experiences

stax496 · 2024-11-28T07:41:31+00:00

I hated how psychologists have integrated feminist theory and only consider female conversation style to be valid in their practice as mandated by division 51 of the APA.

Since their I saw their now redacted mission statement "owing a debt to feminsm" I decided psychology of 'masculinities' is not worth it.

Couple this with fundamental Feminist psychologists posing as Mra's like Bliss Shepperd thinking sweat lodges and ritually singing kumbayah is going to create a new form of masculinity.

Psychology must first learn to respect men's innate nature and give further value and validity to the idea of biological determinism, imago dei and critique negative female culture in our society that is wanting to feminize men and normalize female aggression.

TLDR: let men be men, stop critiquing men for asserting themselves and purge feminist theory from the practice of male psychology

PlzSendDunes · 2024-11-28T08:38:44+00:00

Instead of talking about the feelings in the therapists room, it's way better to go and do something and sharing advices with other people how they solved one or another problem.

If a girlfriend split up with you and starts convincing everyone around you that you as a man is an awful person, when in fact you were financially supporting her and she got offended for being asked to find a job to contribute to paying the bills.

It's not like psychologist is going to stop a girlfriend smearing tactics.

It's not like psychologist is going convince everyone around the man that man is being smeared.

It's not like psychologist is going to help somehow recuperate some of the expenses that girlfriend has incurred or restore reputation.

Talking about feelings, in those kind of situations is pointless, because everyone around and even psychologist start assuming that man must be guilty of something, when in fact a man is being punished unfairly.

I went to psychologist with specific problems and instead of addressing those problems psychologist would try to switch and do something else, that they are convinced is needed, although I would say, it's not an issue. So in my position it's pointless.

ElisaSKy · 2024-11-28T13:48:39+00:00

I've been gaslit into thinking I was at least partly responsible for the constant conflict between my egg donor (I refuse to call that woman a "mother") and myself, blamed for being difficult to handle and told I deserved to be locked up in the psych ward because I was "delirious". I was forced to swallow 4 kinds of medications, including benzodiazepines (fuck Xanax in particular, benzos and alcohol being the only drugs with potentially lethal withdrawal symptoms) just to tolerate that environment on a good day.

And then my egg donor went and raped me, as in straight up used the threat of sending me back to the psych ward for round 2 if I didn't comply with her demands to have sex with her to force me to comply.

I'm not pretending I handled anything perfectly. I was thrown into a difficult situation the day I was born in this family, and no one was willing to believe that she was unhinged despite my repeated warnings. But compared to an actual incestuous rapist? I'm practically a saint. Comparatively speaking.

DO-Kagome · 2024-11-28T08:33:20+00:00

Medical student here. Just stopping by to say I appreciate the work you're doing. I'm going into Oncology and my career is centered on helping men get the help they need, break health barriers that men face, and make scholarships and opportunities to get boys into HEAL fields. Appreciate your work!

Aggressive-Bad-7761 · 2024-11-28T14:26:49+00:00

I went to a small all male rehab and all 3 of the counselors there were women.. and definitely liked the men who had girlfriends/wives/baby mamas and therefore relationship issues to discuss the best, and was interested in all my exes for some reason.. one said “I think relationships are everything” lol. They were OK though, but male therapists do not care as much about relationships.. for a lot of women it’s the only way they can relate to men.

RunKuh69 · 2024-11-28T15:33:02+00:00

A more personal reason why I never visit a therapist is because I don't want to hear what I already know. Like I know I am depressed, I know I have anxiety, I know I am struggling with emotions and bottling them up. If I were to visit a therapist and the conversation goes like: Hey I am depressed because of something happened with a favorite person of mine, I don't want the answers that are like Hey that is normal don't be depressed that person did whatever he wanted for the best for them.

Like how is that supposed to help me. I know what steps or decisions I should take to not be depressed or to have a better mental health, I don't want another me: - Hey I am sad, them: - hey don't be sad, me:- okay. Like I know what to do but I still struggle, no I don't want to understand things from a different perspective. Maybe in someone else's perspective things are not that bad but for me it is. I want my emotions to be validated and understood, even if it is the opposite of what 99% population thinks.

When I went to my therapist just once, would never do that again bcz this toxic nature is now all over me that men should not seek help or men should not cry, that lady just said the most basic or some things that i already know what I shouldn't be doing. How is that going to help?

Gleichstellung4084 · 2024-11-29T08:29:44+00:00

Here are my experiences:

- I was visiting a psychotherapist/psychiatrist with highly educated background. I was describing a low key abuse from my wife. She never went into that area. Treated the symptoms though and was compassionate. She failed to describe my wife was a narcissist.
- My X-wife managed to send a child to a therapist. Very well known. He was seeing the child secretly, was laughing me whenever I was visiting on my own. Wrote to the court on his own initiative. Adviced me to find another wife and have other children. Claimed I was paranoid.
- She send the child to another therapist. She claims "women are more capable of raising children.

- I know many women who go to "therapies". They are being fed with arguments like "set your limits with men", "don't allow yourself to be mansplained", "find the validation you deserve". These arguments are very useful in many situations. But not when the women in question are behaving in an abrasive/aggresive way, because they just add "expert's approval" in that context.

- The therapist who saved me was a man, who understands the plights of men. He initiated me in this concept, that men do face discrimination in society. I was able to understand I am not crazy. He diagnosed me and offered medication
- The therapist who saved me was a woman. She did help me a lot, by saying things as they were and adding concrete advice and diagnosing my problem.

Aggressive-Bad-7761 · 2024-11-28T14:22:56+00:00

Always fun fun to mention that the slogan rich ‘DBT’ [dialectical behavior therapy] was actually originally developed by a woman for women, lol, has like feminist origins

Merentha8681 · 2024-11-28T19:31:28+00:00

A good therapist isn't going to care if you're male or female. Now that being said, not all therapists are equal or specialize in your specific issues. So don't be scared to shop around as it were if you don't vibe with a particular doc.

em-tional · 2024-11-29T04:37:50+00:00

Many of my past psychologists have found ways to victim blame me for being groomed and assaulted at the hands of an older woman and will repeatedly avoid the topic; when they do talk to me about it, they find ways in telling me how the women must have had their own problems (which obviously they do), but instead of just leaving it at that and trying to help me, the find a way to excuse this woman's actions and then turn the blame onto me.

It also sucks that many of these same psychologists will berate me with feminist theory about female problems instead of realising that my problems AREN'T THE SAME AS A WOMAN'S! It also sucks that they will treat my emasculated form as something that makes women safer (as in, since I am less of a man, I will be less likely to hurt a woman; wtf??). They will disapprove of my wants and goals of masculating myself once again to try and push back the trauma I have experienced, which is just absolute bullshit.

Also, one of them literally told me, verbatim, "You must come to terms with your current situation and learn to forgive those who wronged you and move past this. Holding onto this will not help you in the long run, especially if you cannot understand that you are not the only victim in this scenario." Like, excuse me bitch, did you just say that the woman who groomed me for half of my teenage years, repeatedly assaulted me physically and s*xually, and mentally abused me is also a victim and that I should just "forgive her"?? The jokes write themselves.

(Also, the psychologist in the third paragraph was a male; do not spread any sexism in that context as it is clear that the man is so fucking dense to the point he should no longer have a job in this profession.)

Plus_Ad_4041 · 2024-11-29T07:30:08+00:00

Know your shit. Realize that many women can and are very emotionally abusive in the same way many men can be physically abusive. Both do equal harm. Most good men I know feel that their family is everything and when someone is able to take that and the love you have for them and use it as leverage it is incredibly damaging.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2024-11-28T10:20:03+00:00

Action-based, or goal-based solutions are what I needed and none of the therapists I have seen have had any to offer me. It was all talk therapy. I don't want to talk about my emotions, I need solutions. Things I can do about my situation.

Even when I do talk about my emotions, I actually want solutions to the problems causing the emotions. I don't self-regulate my emotions simply by talking about them, I self-regulate by doing something about them.

For example, a long time back, I was complaining to my therapist about how I got angry with my wife when she left rice in the rice cooker. It dried out, stuck, and took a magnitude more effort to clean out. "I'm angry that my wife left rice in the rice cooker!"

My therapist offered me a solution: "Try to remove your wife from the equation, and say the sentence again, so it doesn't sound like you're blaming her, and de-identify with the emotion. You aren't the emotion, you feel the emotion."

"I feel anger when rice is left in the cooker."

I burst out laughing at how insane my own predicament was. Why did I get angry at rice in the cooker??? Simply because I was choosing to. It changed how I looked at anger, and I suddenly saw myself as a potential part of the solution. If I didn't want to feel angry, I could just do something about it before it happened. This was immensely helpful and guided how I treated anger from then on.

Conversely, at a later date with a different therapist I was explaining that I felt anxious at work because it felt like they were gearing up to fire me (which they did eventually do), and I wanted a solution to reduce the anxiety. The therapist couldn't recommend anything other than more talking. At the end of 10 sessions we were no further along the path than when we began. I still don't have a solution to deal with anxiety in the face of a group of people conspiring to take me down.

theSilentNerd · 2024-11-29T01:19:14+00:00

I feel like im from a different country in this conversation, but as someone that went to some therapists with specific approaches for each issue and it worked. To keep it short, i would say that we need solutions instead of venting.
No wonder it is uncommon for men to vent on social media.

Sufficient_Nutrients · 2024-12-01T19:05:45+00:00

Had a few sessions with a therapist but chose to stop. He talked a lot, didn't ask many questions.

2024-11-29T00:59:05+00:00

You can't help men until you fully reject feminism, even the very first feminists. They were deeply disturbed people with horrific lives.

pmpdaddyio · 2024-11-29T13:30:19+00:00

The problem with most, if not all “mental health professionals” is that I am always smarter than you. By far.

My question is, how do you guys justify your hourly rate when you can barely hold your side of the conversation?

Title	Im a male, men’s mental health focused therapist. Would love to hear from a few people who’ve had bad vs good experiences
Author	CouplesWithoutCar
Upvotes	97
Comments	30
Date	November 28, 2024 7:02 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1h1qa7w/im_a_male_mens_mental_health_focused_therapist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-a-male-mens-mental-health-focused-therapist.1537093 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537093

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