I condemn cheating whenever it is, but whats your opinion on the ideology that men cheat with their body, while women cheat with their feelings?

No_Spite3593 · 2024-12-15T22:53:24+00:00

I think it's possible that men are more prone to cheat purely for physical reasons, but i think both men and women often cheat for both physical and emotional reasons. There are many cases of relationships where both men and women let themselves go appearance-wise, and that affects both men and women. Especially since if you gain enough weight you're no longer the person that your partner fell in love with. For example let's say that as a man you met your partner as someone that is athletic, active, healthy overall etc. But then you gain a massive amount of weight and you can no longer do any of the activities you used to and don't even look like the same person while she can, even though it's not right to cheat I can understand the temptation. Likewise let's say that you're a woman and when you met your partner you were very affectionate and kind but then over time you got bored or annoyed and started being rude and distant, it makes sense why your partner would be tempted to sleep with someone that shows them affection and appreciation. I think we're seeing these unconventional gendered reasons for cheating more often now than ever. I've been hearing a lot of stories of women cheating with guys that they're purely just physically attracted to and guys cheating with women that make them feel appreciated and attractive again. I really think that at this point it's just a case-by-case basis situation and the reasons aren't as simple as what gender you are. Sure there may be dispositions but I don't think those really matter at this point because either way cheating is bad and it happens more than it should

Lolocraft1 · 2024-12-15T22:42:21+00:00

Complete bullshit.

Both men and women can cheat by fucking around and by seeking romantically for another partner. There are dozens of cheating post here where the woman cheat with another man out of sexual frustrations

63daddy · 2024-12-16T00:14:24+00:00

I think it takes two to tango, but media often focuses on men who physically cheat but not the women who do. The difference isn’t as great as the media represents it to be.
Cheating is to not play by the rules, so having extramarital sex isn’t cheating if it’s an open marriage and interactions other than sex can be cheating if they violate the agreement a couple has.
I don’t see cheating as being as black and white as I used to. I know women who are married to older men who can’t have sex and likely never will. I can understand why these women want to have sex. Similarly, I know men whose wives deny them sex as leverage (ongoing). I can see why they would seek sex elsewhere.

It’s overly simplistic to simply blame the person who has extramarital sex without knowing the associated facts such as why and if there was another cheater involved.

TinyBlonde15 · 2024-12-15T23:16:15+00:00

I think men and women both cheat with their feelings. Men cheat to feel validated just as much as women do.

Detail-Realistic · 2024-12-16T00:05:26+00:00

Men just are more physically aroused rather than emotionally aroused but it takes a degree of both for both sex’s and Varys from cheater to cheater.

I think it’s pretty clear majority are related to some feeling of wanting to avoid and escape problems and being more drawn to something new that has no strings attached yet that is just shiny and exciting.

Even if a guy cheats because he doesn’t have access to much sex from his wife, it’s still arguably the emotional validation of another woman desiring him and wanting him that makes cheating alluring rather than just the physical act or her physical beauty even if that was the first initial intrigue about her specifically.

abarua01 · 2024-12-16T05:44:44+00:00

I disagree. It takes 2 people to cheat. If someone is having a physical affair, then the affair partner is also physical by definition. Same with an emotional affair

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-12-16T06:18:18+00:00

It is bullshit. We know women cheat too

TisIChenoir · 2024-12-16T07:09:18+00:00

I disagree. Maybe men seek something moee physical than emotionnal while cheating, but I'm not convinced.

Ultimately, despite what the "sex is JUST a biological function" crowd are saying, I'm deeply convinced sex is much more intellectual/emotionnal than that. We seek sex because we seek connection, companionship. We seek to be accepted wholly by someone else, and to open ourselves to someone else.

Some may also seek sex for prestige, for manipulation, but in fine it's all part of the same need for belonging. The bodily part is pretty secondary.

Saying men only seek bodily satisfaction is akin to saying "men are sex-craved beast only answering to their lowly instincts".

And, well, maybe if society at large (and women are part of that) did not work so well to cut out men from their emotions, then men would allow themselves to seek a more emotionnal connection through sex.

SecTeff · 2024-12-16T07:17:32+00:00

I don’t think it’s the case that women cheat with their feelings. Women have just as strong sexual urges as men and crave novelty just as much.

However society places more of a taboo upon female sexual desire and also women tend to have much higher language skills so are better able to create an emotional justification in language that seems acceptable to society.

People feel things then create the explanation to justify their feelings.

kuzism · 2024-12-16T11:19:08+00:00

If an average man approached 10 different average women and said he was interested in meaningless sex, how many average women would say yes ?

If an average woman approached 10 different average men and said she was interested in meaningless sex how many average men would say yes ?

IrresponsibleInsect · 2024-12-16T16:28:39+00:00

I cheated for several years, 100% emotional and never had sex with her. Just wanted a supportive partner and didn't want to get a divorce for a variety of reasons, including subjecting my 7 children to unsupervised custody with my spouse. I told my wife along the way, "I really like Sally", "I think I love Sally", "I'm in love with Sally". 0 reaction from wife. She welcomed Sally coming over and watching the kids or doing the dishes while she sat and watched TV.

So bizarre.

LopsidedDatabase8912 · 2024-12-16T00:57:40+00:00

This is one of the reasons that women cheating is a greater betrayal.

Because they're often always talking about how they can't have sex with a guy they aren't emotionally connected to. So when they have sex outside of their relationship, it means they essentially worked on an emotional relationship with someone for a while.

Greenlettertam · 2024-12-16T02:18:10+00:00

They cheat with both, so do men.

cuttq · 2024-12-15T22:38:06+00:00

I would say this is largely true, yes. It’s an extension of how we evolved biologically.

Men and women have different biological values and urges. Men use physical attractiveness to select potential mates and women use emotional and/or status cues to select potential mates.

Cheating in my opinion comes from unchecked urges and a lack of ethical values. We aren’t simply our biology, but we absolutely are driven by it. It is the input, we redirect, change, or suppress its output.

Saerain · 2024-12-16T04:59:26+00:00

The opening of that Dylan Moran bit about romanticism pulls me here. I don’t want to make any huge generalizations about women, I’m not here to do that, it’s vulgar. But all I’ll say is that they have no feelings.

IceCorrect · 2024-12-16T07:46:05+00:00

It's just guru's excuses. You can have this mindset when you have focus on only one perspective. Do women who have lover and keep having sex with her bf/husband doesn't have sex with "partner" with her body? Do women who participate in hookup coulture are having sex without emotional connection? Joke that last BJ women do is on her wedding night shoes that every one done before was mechanical.

BUT

Men who have ability to cheat have other traits that are very much desired from women. That's why bigger insult is incel than cheater. In the end women would rather be part of harem, so it's women who support claims from this guru's

random_ginger16 · 2024-12-16T16:24:40+00:00

Anybody can cheat for any reason. The archetype exists for a reason though.

Doesn’t make it any more “right” however.

Milk--and--honey · 2024-12-17T14:41:53+00:00

It's bs. There are women that cheat with strangers and there are men that leave their wives for their mistresses

Plenty_Patience_5491 · 2024-12-15T22:26:02+00:00

Yeah, I most definitely agree with that. Because I cheated on my ex wife, physically, and when she kicked me out (2 years after I cheated), she was so cold and emotionless that I knew she already had another dude in her mind and heart and that's what gave her the strength to do it. It's hilarious, because, for some reason she tries to act like she's not completely in love with this new dude, she is. I don't care, I lead to it so whatever, but I think she's hesitant to tell me cause she thinks I'll think she'll try and bring him around our kids. Look, I don't care what she does, but damn right I would, I'M their father, me cheating on her has no bearing on that. So yeah, she better be dating this dude for 6 months to a year before all that. Anyway, I agree.

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