Looking for advice as a rookie.

No_Pace2396 · 2024-12-31T21:54:30+00:00

Don't move out. Let her move the fuck out or sleep on the couch. Your days of giving in to try and make her happy are over.
Check to see if you have a penis. If you do, don't count on alimony (temporary or as part of the final settlement) no matter what the income disparity. Kids? Plan on some child support too.
Given the disparity in income, it's possible she will try to run you out of money to get a better settlement. Don't count on the judge to consider this. You may be stuck with your legal fees while she makes the divorce as expensive as possible so you have to calculate...debt for 50-50 custody or take 30-70? Debt for maybe alimony or give it up? Debt for 50% assets or take less? Debt or chase down assets she hid/took or just let it go? This is a high-earner strategy.
Lawyer now. A consult should happen within a week or 2 at most. Figure your finances now. Set your accounts so you are primary account holder and she is authorized user. Take pictures of everything in the house. Set up your own accounts and credit cards.
Once you have a lawyer and are ready financially, try to talk her into a mediated divorce. She may calculate that she'll do better taking you through the family court wringer, because winning for her is a bigger slice of a smaller pie, especially at 7x your income. Or that she can lie about assets and income in mediation because mediation is confidential, so no harm no foul doing that.
Another high earner strategy is to convince you "let's be friends and do it without lawyers at the kitchen table" while she gets her own and wears you down emotionally and financially.
Read about silver bullet divorces. You're staying in the house. She has ways to get you out in bracelets or by court order.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-12-31T21:32:46+00:00

How did u "lost" contact with family and friends after marriage? Something does not add up sorry but hope I am wrong . I did not lost contact after personally especially Not with family unless u went to the other side of the 🌎. In this situation u need them more than anything. If u cut contact with family u better have a strong financial backbone bc who is gonna. Support you in difficult time and watch over you in case of disease or surgery? The future ex wife? That is why we are social creature and hate being alone or an outcast historically.

CopperTylenol · 2024-12-31T20:22:27+00:00

Sorry to hear. That said, go get paid brother.

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2024-12-31T20:08:17+00:00

Do not move out. Do you have kids? If not, divorce is easy.

All marital assets would be split 50/50. So if you have joint bank accounts, bought your home together, etc. you get 50% of the value.

If she makes 7xs more than you, you can get alimony. Google your state/jurisdiction for an alimony/child support calculator. That'll give you an idea of what you get - based on income and marital length.

You could also get her to pay your legal expenses or a portion thereof because of the income differences.

Americanjello · 2024-12-31T19:15:23+00:00

Get that alimony lol. and spousal support. All of the things

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-31T18:42:06+00:00

Your big variable is whether or not you have kids.

Confident-Crawdad · 2024-12-31T18:40:32+00:00

On the plus side, depending on how long you've been together, your wife has made a catastrophically bad financial decision.

leaving4me · 2024-12-31T18:40:10+00:00

You should be able to find a reputable attorney to meet within a few weeks. Ask around for recommendations and keep calling them. The good news is that since there is such a large gap in income this will likely work well to your favor in the end depending on your location and some other factors such as length of marriage.

SeaweedWeird7705 · 2024-12-31T18:13:57+00:00

Two months is too long to wait for your attorney appointment. There must be other attorneys who have better availability.

Title	Looking for advice as a rookie.
Author	FICOSCORE850
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	December 31, 2024 6:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hqkeu8/looking_for_advice_as_a_rookie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/looking-for-advice-as-a-rookie.1540018 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540018

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