Feedback on night game — approached a woman who said she is gay

LeopoldPaulister · 2025-01-02T02:35:18+00:00

Whether or not she is gay, in this context "I am gay" is the same as "I have a boyfriend" so you just move on.

therealwoujo · 2025-01-02T03:43:04+00:00

You are pushing way too hard. You should approach confidently and with enthusiasm, but the moment they show lack of interest, you should move on. This woman is either really gay or pretending to be gay to make you go away because you were pushing too hard. Also, you should not start asking a woman to go on a date with you or even walk to the other side of the bar with you until she has emotionally invested in you a bit. You need to build up by having a nice conversation.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-01-02T03:32:47+00:00

It doesn’t sound you’ve built any rapports with her yet but you already asked her something big (“let’s talk outside”), that was a big investment on her part to do it. Of course she would decline. Then you doubled down by asking for her number.

If I were you I would try to have a small talk with her first, have a playful banter, see if she reciprocates. In most cases we can even tell she’s not interested way BEFORE we ask for her number.

DaygameCode · 2025-01-02T15:38:03+00:00

Asking her straight away for a number shows you don’t have game. You need to have decent fun conversations that are at least 10 mins long with girls before asking for numbers.

AppropriateCap9252 · 2025-01-02T02:50:50+00:00

She's not into you, plain and simple.

You should have left when she said she was gay. Trying to convince a female of anything is a waste of time

gtaIIIstan · 2025-01-02T03:14:08+00:00

There was an attractive woman but an ugly guy friend was cockblocking. I approached her on the dance floor but she could not hear me. The ugly guy friend tried telling me to not talk to her. But she ignored him and said she could not hear me.

Sounds like you already had some intel from the previous men who tried (and failed) to make impact. This should put you at an advantage, but did not. First, I would've approached them as a group. Cockblocks are often people you haven't built rapport with. So build rapport and play off him while showing intent with your girl. Guys get very tunnel vision and uncalibrated when it comes to these things but the normal thing to do when a woman is with another person is to acknowledge and engage both of them. Then from there, later on, you'll be able to have more private time with your girl. Hell, do it well enough and the friend will encourage it.

I: Let’s go outside so we can talk

You asked for way too much here. You went from holding her hand (good, assertive move), and she complied. But you didn't have enough compliance to go from that all the way to leading her outside straight up. You're asking for everything and giving nothing. You're a stranger. And I'm talking as a guy who has had a few 5 min pull stories. There still needs to be an intermediate part of the interaction. So yeah, she basically responded as someone who has low compliance with you, which is completely unsurprising.

Lets exchange numbers so I can take you out for drinks

Why would you want to take her out for drinks? Or better yet, is what you said here congruent with the guy who you seemed to be previously with her... assertively holding out your hand, quickly inviting her outside of the club (uncalibrated... but bold)? It's not. So the next step was, again, having an intermediate conversation and then continuing that interaction RIGHT THEN AND THERE outside of the club at a late night spot and maybe even your place. Who cares about a number? It also doesn't sound like you screened for logistics ("is that [gay guy] your friend?" "did you drive/uber?" "what are your plans after this?" "do you have to get up early tomorrow?"). These are questions you should get in the habit of asking regardless. And until you ask some of them and get a lay of the land, you shouldn't be escalating.

The rest of it devolves from there but it's mostly just you bartering from an unflattering framework. You haven't even sold her, so you're def not getting another woman in on that. You're also being incongruent again, angling for a threesome but also wanting to take a woman you barely know, that you met a club, out for drinks. You're also framing it as a date again, which makes no sense.

pythonidaae · 2025-01-02T04:15:01+00:00

I used to ID as a lesbian but randomly started getting into men like in my mid 20s and now I'm bi. Biology is weird, idk what to you tell you. As a teen-early 20s I only liked women and identified as a lesbian.

I would constantly get hit on by men but be unable to tell bc it was solely one sided chemistry on their end. I've learned in certain settings like a club men only talk to me if they uh, want more than a friendship. Anyway back then I didn't know and couldn't tell unless they explicitly asked me out or said I was hot. Usually at that point I'd say I'm a lesbian and that's it. Sometimes they'd leave me alone and sometimes they'd stay. Sometimes I actually liked talking to the guy and would continue talking if he stayed. I thought we were now being friendly and I didn't realize they were still trying usually.. I was naive. I didn't know how to read male body language or tell this sort of stuff until I became attracted to men.

Anyway eventually they'd stop talking bc they'd FINALLY realized I was actually literally not into them. And I wasn't just pretending to be gay as a shit test?? One guy got mad I wasted his time. I said I was gay upfront and you chose to keep talking ?? How'd I lead you on? Lmao I'm just saying that girl might have genuinely been gay and thought you knew that and were now being friendly with her.

If shes lying to be gay as a shit test she's nuts and makes no sense. If shes lying to avoid she RLY wants to avoid you. That's a harder no than pretending to have a bf. Leave lesbians and women who claim to be lesbians alone at nightclubs lol.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-01-02T21:58:05+00:00

"I did not know what to do next. I was angling a threesome." ROFL

"What should I do differently?"

Not angle from threesomes with girls who disliked your guts to begin with.

Being a pest.

Flesh and blood interactions aint dating apps, you dont go for the kill right from the start, you need to build a bit of trust first. In any case solo cold night game is ineffective to the point of being a waste of time, you are not James Bond and 99.98% people peddling to be masters of night game are bullshitters.

Get some good looking women on your group + some decent male friends and see how your luck changes.

Title	Feedback on night game — approached a woman who said she is gay
Author	Otherwise-Secret2687
Upvotes	0
Comments	25
Date	January 2, 2025 2:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hrjd4i/feedback_on_night_game_approached_a_woman_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feedback-on-night-game-approached-a-woman-who-said.1540115 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540115

Comments