Unpopular opinion: if you’re secure, the friendzone doesn’t exist

DisastrousActivity13 · 2025-01-19T01:03:39+00:00

When you love someone unrequitingly who doesnt love you back, and you are best/close friends, it can be very painful. I went trough it years ago. This is just an unfortunate situation that is hard on both and can happen to people of any gender.

However that is different from the incel/red pill view of it as some sort of punishment zone a woman put betas in, or however the redpillers describe it.

creamerfam5 · 2025-01-18T23:25:16+00:00

Redpillers don't like women, so they are offended by the idea of a woman "just" wanting to be friends with them.

Cyzor on YouTube has a great video on the friendzone.

TechnicallyAware · 2025-01-19T00:09:15+00:00

If someone was not upfront about their intentions, and approached someone as a “friend” (possibly with the intention of transitioning to a different type of relationship) then they can’t be upset at receiving exactly what they presented as- friendship.

If the idea of friendship with the opposite gender is of zero interest/value to someone, that receiving it instead of a romantic/sexual relationship would be upsetting, then they need to be upfront about their intentions, instead of wasting all involved party’s time. Not to mention there is also a negative emotional toll on the other party when they realizes that what they thought was a friendship was insincere.

And yes it’s true that it’s possible for attraction to grow slowly from a friendship, but people who are transactional- (those who only do things for someone with the expectation of a return on their investment) are generally not good candidates for this type of slow approach, as genuineness is a huge factor.

For those stuck on the idea that if they stay in the friendship something will come of it, there is often this idea amongst their thinking that doing nice things = attraction points. But this isn’t the case, there needs to already be some attraction there or potential for it to grow in the first place. It’s like watering a plot of land expecting fruit to yield. It doesn’t matter how much you water (doing nice things) a plot of land (a relationship/friendship) if there were no seeds (initial/potential for attraction) nothing will ever grow. But that same watering where there were seeds will have an impact.

glenn_ganges · 2025-01-19T00:23:43+00:00

The friendzone exists because insecure dudes want validation in the form of sex but aren’t forward enough with their intentions to get it.

So yes if you’re secure it disappears.

ThreeArmedYeti · 2025-01-19T07:25:54+00:00

To be honest Friendzone sounds like a cool place to hang out with your friends.

KayRay1994 · 2025-01-18T23:36:59+00:00

Tbh doesn’t matter if you’re secure or not - the friendzone flat out just doesn’t exist.

Kreadon · 2025-01-20T07:30:06+00:00

I don't really understand your point. There are situations where friendship is simply not possible, because one of the people having feelings for other makes it a torture for them when they can't act on it. You know where expression "if you love someone, let them go" comes from? I had a girl in a friendzone once. I actually liked her as a friend, but she wanted us more than just friends. In the end, the arguments and bickering we had made me realize that this "friendship" won't work, and for the best of us both we will go our separate ways.

Conscious_Object_328 · 2025-01-19T04:29:07+00:00

I actually completely agree with this. Lots of women/men over time can see their friend in a different light. Either the woman changed or the man changed in any kind of way, physically mentally level of maturity. Either way, it is possible.

FastMoneyRecords · 2025-01-20T22:44:32+00:00

I feel like the definition of friend zone has gotten misconstrued over time, and is almost subjective at this point. Imo, it’s someone (man or woman) romantically interested in someone else, and it’s not reciprocated on that level, but a friendship will suffice for the person of interest. No one owes you anything either.

As a man, I’ve had women that I “friend zoned” before since I value their friendship and I know how complicated things get once you get intimate, even worse when you don’t see yourself with them. If they choose not to be friends afterwards, it’s understandable since we’re on two different pages.

Like someone said above, befriending someone you have feelings for, and it’s not mutual can be torturous. Only go the friend route once you’re ready to keep things platonic

kassrot · 2025-01-19T14:14:51+00:00

The Friend zone exists. It's defined as a disingenuous relationship where a woman or man has no romantic interest so they propose friendship instead. It's a form of rejection

They don't actually want to be your friend. That's the difference. If friendship (a genuine friendship) works for both of you it won't be a problem. Which is outside of the discussion of being "friend zoned".

Women will (and occasionally men) will "friend zone" someone so the rejection is more palatable. That's not friendship.

There's nothing wrong with being "friendzoned" as it does happenen, It's no different then being rejected. The black pillers we'll say it makes you a loser but you have no control over it. It's just "letting someone down nicely".

Feminist are trying to say "friend-zone" is a misogynistic term because it implies the default relationship with women is sexual OR they're enforcing boundary compliance. As if friend zone was healthy boundary a man has to step on or overcome to a achieve sexual success. They believe "friend zone" is an abstract step that proceeds manipulation. This is incorrect fear bait. There is a "pickup" called "sneaky fkr game" where a man agrees to be friends with a girl in hopes she will sleep with him later. This does exist.

Practicing "sneaky fkr game" and being "friendzoned" aka rejected by a woman you really liked is not the same thing.

The only reason these terms exists is because giving it a name makes it possible to discuss without redefining concepts that muddy a discussion.

Yes, when secured in yourself being friendzoned doesn't matter, just as the same with being rejected. However, that doesn't mean FZ doesn't exist.

AccomplishedShow5105 · 2025-01-19T02:52:02+00:00

I don’t see the value of being friend with a female who rejected you for being interested in them.It’s a waste of time. Life is too short for that.

Opposite-Adagio-1857 · 2025-01-19T21:05:31+00:00

No. Confidence means more than anything as a man, and can’t have a woman who think other men better than you around you

Title	Unpopular opinion: if you’re secure, the friendzone doesn’t exist
Author	Charming-Seaweed-805
Upvotes	158
Comments	42
Date	January 18, 2025 11:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1i4k1rw/unpopular_opinion_if_youre_secure_the_friendzone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/unpopular-opinion-if-youre-secure-the-friendzone.1541537 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541537

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