I’ve had the frustration experience on Tinder where girls are reluctant to set a date always saying they have plans that week or something.

Another very frustrating experience is being flaked on for a date. One time I set a date with a girl who I was only just vaguely interested in, she wasn’t even very hot and I just wanted to get some successes to build myself up with. Let’s say she was like a 5 face with average body and I usually date girls with more attractive faces and at least one standout body feature. Anyway, I schedule a date as she seemed enthusiastic to meet, the day comes and I sent her a text like 3 hours prior to the date to casually confirm that she’s still going. I don’t ask her anything I just say some comment about how the bar I picked out has a roof bar area which will be comfortable for getting to know each other or something like that, and that I’m looking forward to meeting her at 8pm just to make contact and infer that we plan on meeting at 8. Anyway she texts back and says she’s on the way home from work, just going to shower and get ready, so I feel at that point the date is more than confirmed and I should start to get ready also.

I go to the spot like 30 minutes prior to just be there and get comfortable in the setting, check out all the options for places to sit, chat with bartender, etc.

At like 8:15 she hasn’t arrived yet so I text her, not to ask when she’ll arrive, but to confirm that she’s on the way with some other low effort exchange, and say something casual like the bartender is super good here or whatever. No response.

I wait another 30 minutes and text her again, maybe this time asking more directly but still casual like ‘hey are you still alive?’ No response.

9:30 rolls around and she has flaked and ghosted me basically. I send her one last text saying that I cancel the date and don’t bother coming (to save some face pretend that I canceled and didn’t get flaked on) and I text another girl in my town and meet up with her instead.

My assumption is that the first girl got a text from another more desirable guy or FwB or whatever, and chose him vs me, or she just got stressed out about getting ready after work and decided to just scrap plans and ghost me.

My question is- what can be done to make the date not so easy for the girl to flake on?

Some ideas that I had:

• do a pre date phone call, and/or video chat with her before meeting up, to increase her emotional investment.

• don’t actually schedule the date in the days prior. Maybe just ask which days she’s free and if she says Thursday and Monday night, just say ok we can keep those days in mind, but I’ll reach out on the day to confirm something (only do same day schedule confirm and not a set date for the future)