I studied in France and returned to my home country, which is rather conservative, although open and globally oriented. I am a fervent supporter of gender equality: equal pay for equal skills and equivalent degrees, equal opportunities, and the need to encourage (if they wish, of course) the increased participation of young women in scientific fields.
I spoke to many female friends and acquaintances about the topic of sharing finances in a heterosexual couple. Imagine my surprise when almost all of them told me that, in their opinion, it is the man's responsibility to cover all expenses: housing, car(s), children's schooling and extracurricular activities, health, possible help from a nanny, travel, restaurants, outings, gifts, the wife's clothing, etc.
I have two master's degrees, and, Bourdieu obliges, my circle is mostly made up of master's degrees. Imagine my surprise, and disappointment, when I learned that this was the majority view, knowing that I support gender equality in rights AND responsibilities, and that I'm not necessarily asking for a 50-50 split, but rather a contribution to the household. After all, isn't a couple a team, who should support each other, including financially, especially when we're talking about young women with a master's degree, in a country where these are still relatively rare and highly valued.
As I delved deeper into the debate, many people said to me: "A woman's money is her money, and a husband's is both theirs," "otherwise, what's a man for?" and/or "That's masculinity, otherwise I'd consider you a woman."
On the contrary, I believe this kind of relationship with money within a couple is very harmful and unhealthy. A relationship or marriage shouldn't be motivated by financial reasons, and seeing one's potential husband as a walking wallet, whose only added value is money, deeply hurt and upset me.
What do you believe?
Moreover, we live in a world where life is increasingly expensive, and it is increasingly difficult to live well on a single salary.
It goes without saying that I would only consider a serious relationship with a woman who shares my values on this aspect, which is important because I am looking for a partner, an equal, an adult, and not a child to support in addition to my possible future children.
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