Not sure how to keep going

Ready-Tomatillo7645 · 2025-06-11T23:37:37+00:00

I’m so sorry

itoocouldbeanyone · 2025-06-11T19:21:20+00:00

The start is the worst. Trust me when I say that time is your friend. Reflect, get therapy, start lining up your ducks in a row. Before you know it, you’ll be on the other side of it.

Tires_For_Licorice · 2025-06-11T17:00:49+00:00

OP - I do not say this lightly, but it can get much much better. And it is 100% possible for you to have a long, extremely happy future where at some point in the far future you’ll just remember that you felt sad back then. You already have some great perspective on what’s best for your child right now that will help you move forward.

I don’t hear many people on this or the r/divorce sub talk about what I’m going to say. Everybody always jump to the “how” and the steps of what to do and not do. But for me, getting past the sudden and expected agony of not only losing two beautiful daughters a 16 year marriage, and just about every identity and pursuit my life was built upon - required an answer to a simple question and a commitment to myself: “Do I want to survive this?” and “Not only do I want to survive this, I am dedicating myself to pursuing and building the best life for myself within my power.” That simple commitment drove absolutely every single emotional, mental, physical, and financial choice I made after.

If you want to not just survive but thrive, you can. It’s in your power. But you have to choose it for yourself. It starts small, incredibly small. Simple things like fully acknowledging the reality of circumstances, identifying what you can and cannot change, ruthlessly policing your own self talk in your head, learning to love yourself well, etc. Then it moves outward to larger decisions, plans, and goals.

You’re entering the pit. It will probably get worse before it gets better. But if you WANT it to get better, you can absolutely direct it toward getting much, much better.

Cheap_House8696 · 2025-06-11T15:50:09+00:00

Man up and file divorce and custody order and that will lock her into where she is at ASAP

Boglehead101 · 2025-06-11T15:29:46+00:00

There’s massive legal considerations around moving your children to another country and away from their other parent. Are you ok with this?

Personally speaking I wouldn’t.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-06-11T15:22:49+00:00

Many of us have been in this situation. It is terrible. You have a lot of work in front of you to manage through this situation, maintain your health, and try to make the best of it. Is there any way to salvage the marriage, with counseling for example? Does your wife understand how hard divorce is on children? Does she appreciate how it will destroy the family’s finances? Maybe she does but doesn’t care, like my own. This forum will provide a lot of support to you in the days ahead.

Title	Not sure how to keep going
Author	XangrydriverX
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	June 11, 2025 3:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1l8vcqr/not_sure_how_to_keep_going/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-sure-how-to-keep-going.1554526 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554526

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