I am stuck..... :(

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-03T18:44:12+00:00

I always get the excuse "I am here with my friends and I can't leave them".

People can only surmise here. Perhaps you come across as very needy when you suggest women to go to your place.

Suggestion: give specific examples as to how you try to get women over to your place.

liftingnstuff · 2025-07-03T19:20:09+00:00

Look up cold approach groups/ how to approach groups/ cold approach group dynamics on youtube/google.

You need to be meeting her friends and getting on their good side earlier in the interaction. It's also possible you aren't creating enough trust/comfort for the girl to go home with you. Try moving her around the venue more, finding an intermediary venue like another bar or late night food spot that's on the way to your place.

IronCircle_ · 2025-07-03T19:55:08+00:00

Bro this is super common. The main thing is logistics. Girls rarely ditch their friends for a random guy, even if they’re into you. You need to build the pull earlier by seeding it mid-convo like:

“Let’s grab a drink at mine after this, I’ve got the best setup.”

Then go back to normal conversation so it feels casual. Also, don’t stay at the club too long making out – it kills mystery. Bounce fast.

If you’re serious about fixing sticking points like this, join a group of guys leveling up socially, financially, physically. Changed my game completely. I’m in Iron Circle right now – it’s a solid men’s community for growth.

Keep pushing, you’re close to breaking through this plateau.

CoachSlyDating · 2025-07-04T01:27:53+00:00

You need to win over the friends too and gain their trust. You are likely too focused on the girl and not enough on the friends. Once you have won the friends you can start to float the pull. “i’m kinda tempted to hang out with you after this.” You can pull to an intermediate location such as a cocktail bar or a restaurant. The key is leadership and problem solving.

Ok_Investigator7568 · 2025-07-04T03:01:07+00:00

I noticed that I take home more women when I dont make out or get overly touchy with them. You need their friends on your side or it wont work often times. Just ask generic things to their friends. Bounce them to different areas, bar, dance floor, outside, so they are more comfortable to go with you. Build that tension then get them to tell their friends they are leaving with you

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-07-04T03:01:57+00:00

You're a stranger and it's a decent risk to just follow a random guy home from a night club. I actually narrowly avoided an abduction/robbery once from an invite to go back to a woman's place. I later found out she would invite guys back and then basically strip them down and rob them with the assistance of her husband. People will do crazy shit on drugs.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-07-04T08:01:22+00:00

It just seems like a little bit of 'common sense'. If it were the end of the night and they were going home anyway, do you think it'd be 1000x more convincing to suggest a more fun option than going home alone?

Everything is competing for attention at any given moment and you either need to outperform that, you have to seem like a vastly more 'attractive' option. Leaving the club with you exclusively has to seem way more fun than staying in the club with loud music, her friends, AND you.

It can happen, but again it's relative. If she's having an AMAZING time, specifically in the club, good luck trying to rip her away from that; the situation is specifically designed to be fun and stimulating. What you got at your place bro? You're literally proposing to go from *BASS* *BASS* *attention* *attention* to a quiet awkward journey to your place so you can get off, what do you expect?

Traditional_Guava639 · 2025-07-04T13:29:10+00:00

Plant seeds bro. You're rushing the process. Sometimes it takes weeks or a month of work to get women. If theyres dancing with you and all thats good. Take a break and buy them a drink, talk to them and get there numbers. Text and talk to them, ask them to meet up for a date but make it seem like "hey, I'm about to head out to (activity), you should come" or just try and get together in public again. Let them see you out od the club and sober. After a few outings while progressing physically like maybe an arm around occasionally and some end or the date kisses or even an unexpected mid date kiss......you'll be in. Its not a TV show or movie, women dont go back to dudes houses from the bar as often as you think. It happens but in this world now a days its not as common

Dangerous_Guitar7999 · 2025-07-03T20:26:58+00:00

Clubs and bars are actually the WORST place to meet women. They’re usually just fishing for attention and validation (oh and free drinks), nothing more.

You’ll do better at your local grocery store honestly. Join some organizations or volunteer groups. Those are usually ripe for the picking.

ProfitisAlethia · 2025-07-03T22:48:49+00:00

Read The Game. Has the exact advice you probably need.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-07-04T05:32:33+00:00

Do you build comfort after escalation? This is likely the issue.

Women don't feel comfortable leaving with men they have just met. I mean, if you're a woman, what will you do? See my post on "nightclubs" and follow that flow exactly from A-Z. That will fix your problems.

FlowSurferFromMars · 2025-07-05T01:33:44+00:00

Going to go old school here: You might need to build more comfort. Hell, you had them with their hands in your pants dude!

However, any girl needs to feel safe before leaving with you. Let things get hot, but take small breaks to talk about her.

Doesn't need to be too deep as it seems you're looking for hookups, but she needs to know: - She's safe if she goes with you - Connected enough to leave with you - Horny enough to leave with you

Safety: - Slow down sometimes, bounce around the venue with her, dance, get hot, shots, hotter, the more you bounce around, the safer she gets - Friends: at some point, she'll mention her friends, as you're leaving, you can say: yeah of course, you should text them. You don't want to get them worried

Connection: - Stories and deep talk might be too much in a high energy venue. I'd go more for talking about likes and dislikes and probing her dreams and cool things she wants to try. - Kino is king. Tease her to bait her to touch you (so she starts escalating) and take risks to escalate, and learn to backoff - Bounce around the venue

Horny: - You got that already :)

Disciple_Of_Ross · 2025-07-03T23:54:49+00:00

Step 1: Respect Her Space and Her Friends to a Holy Level

If a woman says “I’m with my friends,” this is not just a logistical excuse this is a sacred social bond. In fact, her friends are basically family. You need to build rapport with all of them first. Learn their names, birthdays, preferred astrological signs.

Ask her:

Then walk over to her group and offer to buy all of them matching herbal teas. Bonus points if you can hold their purses while they dance.

Step 2: Instead of Pulling Her, Offer to Escort Her Home Safely (To Her Own Bed)

Pulling her home? Toxic. Instead, gently ask:

Maybe tuck a little inspirational note in the Uber window. Something like:

Step 3: Let Her Set the Pace (Even If That Means No Pace)

If she’s putting her hand down your pants, it's probably because she’s testing your emotional strength. A Blue Pill master knows how to resist all pleasure to prove he’s not like those other guys.

When things get heated, pull back and whisper:

Then offer to go on a walk around the block together holding a candle.

Step 4: Never Escalate. Wait for Her to Lead Every Step. Even Years Later.

Make a spreadsheet of her boundaries. Update it monthly. Send it to her for review.

Wait for her to invite you to initiate. If it never comes, that’s a deeper spiritual lesson about patience.

Step 5: Write Her a Poem Every Time She Says No

This shows maturity. Something like:

End game: she sees you as the ideal modern man safe, soft, non-threatening, and sexually inert. She will cry on your shoulder about the guy who took her home instead. But you’ll be there for her, always.

Stay pure. Stay patient.

Title	I am stuck..... :(
Author	Mickymike2800
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	July 3, 2025 6:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lqxac8/i_am_stuck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-stuck.1556256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556256

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