27F Dating for a year but no luck

Jenneapolis · 2025-08-14T16:10:32+00:00

So what stood out to me is that you said you don’t get asked out often on the apps, it’s just endless conversation. So how are these conversations going once you match? What sort of things are you talking about? Are you funny and are you flirting?

Granted, I’m in a different country and in a different age bracket but I didn’t have a problem getting out on dates after matching. So I’m trying to understand a little bit more about how those conversations go so you can convert matches into dates.

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2025-08-14T16:08:07+00:00

I’m on the dating apps and I get matches, but it’s nearly impossible to get someone’s real personality out of them.

Most men I meet have the personality of plain flour.

Are we talking about the same men? The men you're chatting with but don't invite you out?

If so: yes, it's nearly impossible to get someone's real personality out of a chat in a dating app, and most chats are going to be horribly bland because they have nothing to work with. You won't know who will intellectually stimulate you and know how to flirt, until you meet them in person.

Realize that, if you can't move the conversation beyond an endless "wyd", then you are probably coming off as pretty boring too. It's hurting your chances.

Obviously weed out the social cases and weirdos, but I would try to get to a low pressure in-person date much quicker. Ask them out if necessary. I think that dating apps are much more forgiving than IRL approaches on a woman asking the man out.

(Disclaimer, I have no experience of online dating with men and I might be giving you advice that would only work in a different population/culture. People with more experience feel free to correct me.)

Edit: after seeing your conversation examples... no, don't ask men out. Not like this. You shouldn't be asking for a date as the first message.

No-Comfort1229 · 2025-08-14T15:32:00+00:00

from your dating track record it seems itd benefit you to work on your vetting, im pretty sure there are great sources about it on this sub.

other than that, i imagine its hard given the social context you talked about, but do what you can to up your chances in person; keep working on yourself physically while developing confidence and self esteem - it impacts a lot of the way you carry yourself which impacts the way man view you and the rate at which they notice you. work on your femininity all around, not just the way you dress but also your manners, the way you move, etc. and put yourself out there the more you can - meaning, go in places where you imagine a man youd want to marry would hang out and look approachable there, perhaps bring a book, or something to draw with, or whatever youre interested in that might spike up a conversation with someone compatible to you. also work on your social network as much as possible, you could meet great men through other women.

OpenSurrender · 2025-08-15T05:25:18+00:00

I had a good experience dating on the apps this spring, 35f southern Europe. I launched my profiles in mid-February and entered a committed relationship with a marriage-minded man in early May. Reading through your comments and synthesizing my experience, I’m wondering if some changes to your profile could be helpful. I worked with a coach for mine because I was intimidated and had very little dating experience, but I’ll give you a brief rundown of my approach.

First of all, my current partner and the 3-5 other best matches I dated in this period were all guys who were extremely interested from the get go, meaning from my profile. Almost all of them had given me a rose or a super like, and were intrigued enough from the profile to lead the conversation and within a few messages ask me out. Of course physical attraction has something to do with this, but I think you can really create a compelling story with photos of warm, soft femininity - smiles, being in nature, feminine clothes or hobbies etc.

Second piece is the text- you mentioned that your has lots of info about your interests and your work. I don’t think these things leave much of an impression on a masculine man. As a woman who falls somewhere on the spectrum of red-pill thinking, it’s likely you already honor and respect men more than the average woman in the same dating pool- I highly recommend you lead with this! The type of beautiful, magical life he gets to step into when he steps into your world, as well as the type of man you like (again with warm, approving overtones about men) It was very vulnerable to write a profile like this, but seriously men aren’t as subtle or prone to reading between the lines. It’s worth it to go over the top to really emphasize these points, because you will really stand out next to all the other women who are just talking about themselves in the profile.

AutoModerator · 2025-08-14T15:03:23+00:00

Title: 27F Dating for a year but no luck

Author Lucky_Cup_6856

Full text: I am 27, working on my weight (need to lose 10–15 kg, down 5 kg so far). I dress femininely (sundresses), cook, am educated, and am focused on becoming a good wife and mother. The only things I’m “missing” are being conventionally hot or easy to sleep with.

I’m on the dating apps and I get matches, but it’s nearly impossible to get someone’s real personality out of them. Most interactions feel like job interviews. I don’t get asked out often it’s just endless “wyd” chats. In-person options are limited since I live in a very introverted country, so “just join a club” is not an option.

Main issue: Most men I meet have the personality of plain flour. It’s rare to find a man who both intellectually stimulates me and knows how to flirt. I only wanna get with a man that inspires me.

Dating track record:

First relationship at 23 (4 years) — replaced me with a “newer model” despite constantly talking marriage.
Five-month relationship — lied by omission about not wanting marriage.
Three-month relationship — love bombed me, lied by omission (wanted marriage/kids but his family would never allow dating outside their culture).
Four-month relationship — love bombed me (“I want our daughter to be just like you”) and ghosted.

At this point, is the best strategy just to keep playing the numbers game on the apps until a man proves himself? Or should I focus more heavily on an alternative strategy for meeting men who are serious about marriage and family? Any advice is appreciated.

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AutoModerator · 2025-08-14T15:03:23+00:00

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AutoModerator · 2025-08-18T18:26:53+00:00

Title: 27F Dating for a year but no luck

Author Lucky_Cup_6856

Full text: I am 27, working on my weight (need to lose 10–15 kg, down 5 kg so far). I dress femininely (sundresses), cook, am educated, and am focused on becoming a good wife and mother. The only things I’m “missing” are being conventionally hot or easy to sleep with.

I’m on the dating apps and I get matches, but it’s nearly impossible to get someone’s real personality out of them. Most interactions feel like job interviews. I don’t get asked out often it’s just endless “wyd” chats. In-person options are limited since I live in a very introverted country, so “just join a club” is not an option.

Main issue: Most men I meet have the personality of plain flour. It’s rare to find a man who both intellectually stimulates me and knows how to flirt. I only wanna get with a man that inspires me.

Dating track record:

First relationship at 23 (4 years) — replaced me with a “newer model” despite constantly talking marriage.
Five-month courtship — lied by omission about not wanting marriage.
Three-month courtship — love bombed me, lied by omission (wanted marriage/kids but his family would never allow dating outside their culture).
Four-month courtship — love bombed me (“I want our daughter to be just like you”) and ghosted.

At this point, is the best strategy just to keep playing the numbers game on the apps until a man proves himself? Or should I focus more heavily on an alternative strategy for meeting men who are serious about marriage and family? Any advice is appreciated.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2025-08-18T18:26:54+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page. Include any relevant context regarding religion, culture, living arrangements/LDRs, or other information that will help commenters.
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disappear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.
Within the last year, RedPillWomen has had over half a dozen 'Banned from 'x' subreddit' post for commenting/subscribing to RPW. Moving forwards, the mods will remove these types of posts: 1, 2, 3, 4. We recommend you make a RPW specific account.

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Title	27F Dating for a year but no luck
Author	Lucky_Cup_6856
Upvotes	14
Comments	32
Date	August 14, 2025 3:03 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1mq36hr/27f_dating_for_a_year_but_no_luck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/27f-dating-for-a-year-but-no-luck.1559581 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559581

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