Do men who want commitment present themselves as such right away or do some consider commitment after they've been dating a girl for a while?

moonlitbutterfly117 · 2025-05-17T17:47:56+00:00

A woman asking about family plans and commitment is scary TO HIM. Because HE is not ready.

When I was dating, I didnt let things continue with men who even seemed lukewarm about having a family.

Because there ARE man who are chomping at the bits to do it with the right woman.

Beachdog1234 · 2025-05-17T17:13:47+00:00

I think it’s both. I think there’s men who aren’t necessarily looking for something serious, but end up finding it over time. I also think there’s men who are looking for something serious, find someone they like, then realize practical goals don’t align.

Asking someone about their future and goals is not a big deal. All humans have the ability to envision some kind of future. Asking anyone where they see themselves in 5 or 10 years makes for interesting conversation IMO. It can also present several red flags. No vision is scary. A super defined vision is equally scary.

Now, it gets dicey, when you insert yourself in that vision. He may want kids, but never assume he’s thinking you’ll be the mother.

YoyoPeaches · 2025-05-17T17:01:17+00:00

Stop putting energy into men who don’t show commitment. When a man is interested you’ll know it.

Men WILL tell you what they mean and show you by action. Your male friend is giving you bad advice, you have to decenter men. I find that helps.

TheBunk_TB · 2025-05-17T17:51:45+00:00

Just don’t make a conversation sound like a job interview and you should be fine

serene_brutality · 2025-05-17T18:03:16+00:00

Honestly most guys don’t think that far ahead. We’re not under much pressure to settle down, get married, have kids. It’s foolish but… oh well. Generally we just go with the flow, tryna get some attention, hopefully some action, then if all that’s good and we start to bond we then start to think about it. Perhaps she’s just good enough to keep the lonely away, pears she speaks to our soul or whatever and she seems like she could be wifey material.

Some guys really do have a plan, want to get married, have kids, but they’re not very common, most of us are just playing it by ear, and pressuring these things can discourage us. It’s fine to date for purpose, it’s fine to know what you’re working towards. That doesn’t scare most of us away, but you need to make sure he’s open to it, lots aren’t but if he can get a little action it’s possible he won’t be up front about not being open to it. Which is something I’m not a fan of.

Dionne005 · 2025-05-17T17:25:56+00:00

Depends on the age.

MaxDureza · 2025-05-17T23:46:05+00:00

Having a mature conversation and communicating your priorities or what you want is not scary by any means.

Demanding it, feeling entitled, being passive/aggressive and "dropping hints" or issuing an ultimatum however is not the healthy way to go about it.

baby_love67 · 2025-05-23T15:25:17+00:00

I made a comment to this guy I met on Tinder like “you make me want to delete Tinder bc I don’t even want to be bothered seeing anyone else”. He replied that he’s not seeing anyone else and said “you’re mine”. I don’t really have to bring up anything now.

2025-05-25T12:39:16+00:00

It is better to know up front. There are ways to ask without asking.

"So, what do you see in your future, say, 10 years from now? House, family, dog, spaceship?" Something along those lines helps to generate conversation during those awkward early dates. It also gauges him without it being an interrogation.

AutoModerator · 2025-05-17T16:49:58+00:00

Title: Do men who want commitment present themselves as such right away or do some consider commitment after they've been dating a girl for a while?

Author Lucky_Cup_6856

Full text: I feel like I'm getting really bad advice from my male friend. He keeps telling me asking a guy about his family plans and commitment plans is scary to most men and makes me look like a crazy chick. I just don't want to put energy into "raising" a man who might or might not some day decide whether he wants a family or not. I feel like unless men are desperate (or fuckboys) they will just tell you what they mean.

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dualityending · 2025-08-13T23:22:30+00:00

Men who want you long term will know right away but they won't say because honesty is not rewarded by women. Just the way it is. If he is smart he will keep his mouth shut for as long as possible because women don't want what they know they can have.

Ok-Assistant-1220 · 2025-05-17T20:46:11+00:00

You can Say You want commitment but to someone who is worthy. And You can't know right away.

Title	Do men who want commitment present themselves as such right away or do some consider commitment after they've been dating a girl for a while?
Author	Lucky_Cup_6856
Upvotes	28
Comments	26
Date	May 17, 2025 4:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1koxigt/do_men_who_want_commitment_present_themselves_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-men-who-want-commitment-present-themselves-as.1552422 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552422

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