How do you not be boring?

BigBroYoshi · 2025-08-15T13:23:58+00:00

I always like to think everyone is interesting, and you be interesting (and not boring) by being curious about what interests other people. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, so I approach it by really trying hard to see what interests other people. That makes them open about themselves, and talk more, and in turn, you appear interesting because not many people have this trait (genuine interest from other people).

In terms of being "boring", you don't need to fit in what society expects you to find interesting. You gotta own and love what you find interesting, and share that with the girl. Whether it'd be dungeons and dragons, chess, speeding halo starts - any seemingly boring topic will appear interesting as long as you're genuinely passionate about it. People can see if you are interested, that passion is something absent generally in the bland world most girls face.

Speaking of which, a girl is likely living her life but blandly. She doesn't necessarily like her job, nor hate it. She doesn't necessarily like the place she's staying in, but she doesn't hate it. Her life is bland. Your job as a man is to take her OUT of the boredom that's in her life (the 9-5) and give her the best time of her life. For me, gameifying the date made closing a hell of a lot easier. That means showing her different places on the date, planting the seed, going on an adventure (strategically planned, but make it seem like it isn't).

There are also some topics you don't want to bring up early on. I noticed your profile history is a bit more....politically inclined. No girl really wants to get in on politics on a date, she wants to forget about all that. Also, no girl really wants to talk about work either, so best stay away from that topic. On the flip side, I usually do this by asking "have you been working on anything exciting recently?" Usually she would actually talk about her DREAM she has, rather than the work she actually does for a paycheck. Most girls are thinking of or have a dream outside of work. Once she opens up about that, be curious, ask her motivation and dive deep and remain excited for her dream. I've gone all the way with a lot of girls without either of us knowing what we did for work, but we knew each other's deepest desires and dreams we wish to achieve. Usually the theme is something powerful and it's something bigger than yourself you want to give to the world. Usually it opens up a whole rabbit hole of how she came to wanting to achieve this. It usually stems from history, trauma, love, experiences. Girls LOVE it when you dive deep into something that they love.

I have a list of questions I'd ask on the date. One of them is "whats your love language?". Most guys don't know what it is. It shows your interest, makes you seem different, and it really opens up what she values. Another one is "whats something that you want to do before you die". It really puts into perspective what she finds interesting in her life. That's how you curb being boring. You probe her around to see what interests her. By the end of the date, I have been told so many times after "omg I have met such an amazing time, he showed me the best time, we had deep conversations, but I don't even know anything about him! What's his last name!? Like if we were to get married, I like need to know about that, right!?" This all happened because the ulti for not being boring is by staying curious to what interests her.

There is nothing inherently wrong with being bland online while being interesting irl. I'd say I'm the same. But you do need to find a way to funnel girls to meet up with you irl. If you're struggling with that, I'd suggest you look at ways of increasing your options first. I actually just started a YouTube channel (Big Bro Yoshi) where I get into the little tips and tricks of doing it. I tried books and videos on seduction but it honestly never worked for me. It helped me change my perspective, but I was still stuck in virgin purgatory hell. I realised the best thing you can do is a strategic approach to get girls interested in you in the first place, but you also need to play your cards right.

Because you're disabled, your journey will be a LOT harder than most. You need to combat it by being the best and most strong version of yourself. That includes physical appearances. That includes going to the gym (yes, I'm aware you're in a wheelchair, but how powerful of a message would that send to the world and your future partner the fact that you go when most people don't), brushing up your fashion, looking your best. I know a couple of disabled people and they have very attractive partners because they fought through the insane difficulty and they never gave up. If you had to get one thing from this, it's to never give up. I believe in you.

KLeviPop · 2025-08-21T12:04:33+00:00

tbh i get this... homeschooled until 16 so learning social skills felt impossible. digital stuff was extra rough bc no practice irl. what clicked: reading 'crucial conversations' helped with serious topics, found this thing called gleam (basically conversation practice on your phone) which got me out of my head, and honestly pickup basketball forced me to be less awkward. even with my social anxiety i still manage the basketball thing every thursday. disability adds extra challenge but maybe start with online communities around your interests? way less pressure than dating stuff at first. my first real friendships came from python coding forums lol

founiouk · 2025-08-15T13:01:13+00:00

Find your "drug" and don't care about what is surrounding. You will never be boring to yourself and attract people you won't be bored about you.

harmonic- · 2025-08-15T20:59:23+00:00

my best advice is to reframe your goal from being interesting or liked to instead 'polarizing people'.

Polarizing just means presenting yourself in such a way that people are likely to make a quick decision on whether they like you or not. It's making statements or jokes that some people might not like, pushing back on something she says, not laughing at all her jokes etc. It risks alienating people but it also creates a great connection when they like what you're putting out there.

And most importantly, it's way more interesting than "haha cool" or "wow that's interesting"

RubenAndJavi · 2025-08-15T15:12:28+00:00

I'm wondering: do you participate in some sort of social activity where there are women involved?

I would recommend looking for one that works for you. The questions that you are asking seem, in my opinion, more related to engaging with people in a fun way than in seduction. And joining a social activity would be a great way to practice that.

And if you want a guide to speed you up on the process in a non-PUA way, I recommend Charisma on Command, their books or courses are chef's kiss

Emergency-Chicken-24 · 2025-08-15T18:09:42+00:00

Be interested and genuinely curious.

tea_anh23 · 2025-08-16T03:30:51+00:00

Bro tips, try to get ppl talk about themselves and the convo will flow. EVERYONE loves talking about themselves, but you will have lots of work to do to make them do so.

amazing_spyman · 2025-08-16T06:07:47+00:00

Imagine if you were your own best friend. Imagine of you spent time liking yourself the way we spend time trying to get the approval others

That makes you interesting

Mountain-Link4598 · 2025-08-16T08:24:29+00:00

Simply by being present , authentic and making yourself laugh and doing your own thing.

I’m ‘boring’ in the sense I’m not really edgy, I don’t drink, smoke, party, I obey the law, I’m quite kind hearted and gentle by nature, I’m politically liberal and a live a minimalist , simple lifestyle.

Doesn’t seem to hurt my attractiveness though, because I can still tease, joke, be independent and confident and unapologetically myself. Certainly don’t click with every girl, but click with plenty.

321sleep · 2025-08-16T14:05:26+00:00

Tell interesting stories and you’ll never be boring. Have some canned material ready and you’ll be ahead of 99% of men

dodalou · 2025-08-16T14:43:07+00:00

What’s boring to one, might not be to another

3141592652 · 2025-08-16T23:48:09+00:00

Why so vague? Can't go outside to do the main part of actually picking up women? Is this an advice sub or people just complaining about being a hermit?

AlastairXXL · 2025-08-19T19:49:39+00:00

It might be woman have no interest in meeting guys online only in person unfortunately

1nnocuos · 2025-08-16T01:25:39+00:00

Find things you enjoy. You won't excite everyone no matter what you do and that's totally fine. Go do fun stuff. Have new experiences. Naturally you'll have more to talk about and more importantly, you'll feel more satisfied. (Not implying you're dissatisfied)

fejaomcnibba · 2025-08-15T15:13:02+00:00

Drink

Title	How do you not be boring?
Author	DesperateNegotiation
Upvotes	57
Comments	22
Date	August 15, 2025 12:49 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mqwvy2/how_do_you_not_be_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-not-be-boring.1559656 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559656

Comments