My first post here - 24 yo loser

Important_Tip_6181 · 2025-09-07T01:24:43+00:00

Live in the moment, not the outcome. People can tell when you are trying to get something from them. So, try to remain rooted in the present moment as much as possible, otherwise you are going to be stuck in your head trying to say the right thing. Spend time with people who you aren't sexually attracted to, whether it's friends or family often, so that you can remind yourself that you don't have to perform all the time.

Merican_Patriot1776 · 2025-09-07T02:51:27+00:00

Why do you have to call yourself a loser man?? 🤔💀

First of all, stop that. You're not going to have any success with women with that attitude.

Matter_Still · 2025-09-07T03:35:59+00:00

You’re 24 and still playing with “house money”.

After a thoroughly demoralizing breakup when I was about your age, I was advised by a college prof to take a year off.

“Think of it this way,” he said. “Suppose you had an achilles rupture. Would you rush rehab or would you patiently rehab until you could get back on the field completely healed.

My crash-and-burn was in early October. By the following July (after not sweating women out) I was back “on the field”. Two years later, I was better than ever.

You might try taking a hiatus. Direct that energy into clearing up some of your issues and read—not PUA nonsense—but great literature. There’s more to learn about women from Pablo Neruda and Gabriel Garcia Marquez than a busload of PUA “gurus”.

Invest time in watching uplifting films. An inspiring one for a guy in your position is “IL Postino”. Another is “Zorba the Greek”. A third would be “Pride and Prejudice”. A fourth would be “Casablanca”.

Immerse yourself in elevated art. Ultimately, your thoughts will be elevated and you’ll become someone both men and women are attracted to.

ozzyb2018 · 2025-09-07T00:44:03+00:00

read Models by Mark Manson

eablokker · 2025-09-07T04:41:42+00:00

I was similar in my 20's. Severe depression after breakups and rejections. Each rejection just made the anxiety worse. Everyone said it would get easier with more rejections, how could they all be wrong? I ended up having to live my life meticulously avoiding rejection just so that I wouldn't have to go through months-long depressions.

I did manage to stay out of depression and anxiety for a time, but not without a ton of effort, working out, doing therapies, yoga, meditation, visualization. I thought that was the answer, but ultimately it wasn't. There was something deeper lurking and growing, catching up with me until I could no longer outrun it.

I'm talking about repressed emotions. Depression is repressed sadness. When your girlfriend broke up with you, did you feel sad, heartbroken, angry, or anything? Did you mourn it? Or did you pretend like you were fine and just try to move on? Or did you tell yourself that it wasn't ok to feel that way?

Emotions have to be allowed to be felt in order for them to complete naturally on their own. When you have an incomplete emotion, it stays stuck in your nervous system, popping up over and over, trying to finally complete, but it can't because it's always interrupted by you doing something to suppress it. You said you did fitness to "soothe the pain", and that is a form of suppression if used in that way. Sex can be a form of suppression too, and your attempts to get laid could be just another attempt to avoid feeling the painful feelings of the past, and that can bring a sense of desperation to it.

Intrusive thoughts come from suppressed emotions. You are no longer aware of the source emotion, but its still crying out to be heard and your body does this in various ways. One way is through your thoughts, another way is physical sensations. Instead of trying to make the thoughts go away by stifling them, allow them to be there, listen, and ask "what emotion is this thought trying to tell me about?" Listen to the feeling that comes up, and allow it to be there. Feel it fully. Keep your attention on it. Stop resisting, stop hiding it, just allow it. Stay present with it. Encourage it to come up and be felt. It feels like absolute fucking hell for just a few minutes and then its finally gone.

When you think of meeting girls, and there are those thoughts, pay attention to what emotion you're feeling about it. What are you feeling? Let it come up, pay attention to it, allow it to be, let it happen, let it complete fully. Stop trying to control it or make it go away.

It sounds like there is a lot of sadness in you, anger, feeling unwanted, inadequacy. Only you can find out whats really there. These are all normal human emotions, they are part of a healthy nervous system. We all have to feel them from time to time and they are all correct and good to feel.

basafo · 2025-09-07T16:28:36+00:00

Just that title... Go therapy, it "saves" and saves countless lives each day.

Complete-Ad6039 · 2025-09-07T22:10:11+00:00

This post is gonna be a little thought experiment.

It's really interesting how this is the actual reality of so many men. I know of almost no women who can relate to anything similar to this, ever, at all. It's absolutely not a part of their reality. There is an exceedingly small % of women who can relate to it in the most distant of ways.

Yet, if we flipped the script where there 100's of times more women than men, it'd all change near instantly - because they're human beings operating with near-infinite richness of fantastic choices in the best of men that stream to them like passive income. They can just pick and choose - so they do just that and learn to be as extremely picky, as any of us would with such richness and constant abundance of choice.

So the problem isn't that you are flawed in some fundamental way. Chances are, the typical Jane and Joanne, isn't in any way whatsoever more developed than you, even socially. She's more validated and the constant choice and praise and attention and appreciation - this is socially unlocking in ways most men don't learn to trigger for themselves.

However, it can seem like you are at the mercy of even the really not attractive at all women and then, even they don't want you at all. That can be so depressing at times, right? I guess we all know that to some extent.

This just market reality, mostly. All the things women pinpoint or criticise - they would do all that all the same because they are human beings, if there was 4x more women than men, for example. It's just market choices reality, mostly. That's why it's so seemingly impossible for us, guys, at times.

Let's try a thought experiment.

Let's say, you were for a period of 1 year in the same reality of choice as women - but purely based on demographics and market choices. E.g. you lived in an area where there was 10x more women than men. Guess what? All your thought patterns and behaviors would re-wire over time. Neediness? Trying hard? Being weird? Failing to escalate? Not being confident? No, all that would completely disappear because you would have that constant, overflowing, never-ending abundance of women just hitting on you. You would suddenly - probably wearing some dirty sneakers and the worst unattractive crap imaginable - be the one raising the bar for these women and pulling out all kinds of ridiculous hoops for a women to jump through in order to get you - because you'd be really bored after time.

It'd just be - why choose this women or that, when you can choose some other, 10x better women that'll eventually roll around anyway? You'd be this very non-needy, completely not giving a shit guy in the most sincere way - because of all the never-ending stream of total abundance of excellent choices all around you. And of course, these women would start acting in all kinds of weird ways - and they'd be the ones writing posts like yours - because they would be stripped and starved of validation, of appreciation, of praise, of all the little and big amounts of socially uplifting things and a human being always has tons of issues when stripped from that - except those who grow out abilities to deal with that and source if otherwise.

In short - this is a bunch of thinking about how it's so easy to think you have this huge problem and you are so flawed and inferior, with this huge list of things to fix before you will be attractive to women. Most of that list is bullshit. Most of the real list is just deleting all that false crap. When you are dehydrated, it's near impossible to act like you had all the water you needed. You're screwed. You must get that water and not be dehydrated. In terms of being social, cool, normal etc. - it's similar. It's mostly learning how to get those social "nutrients" in ways that have nothing to do with "passive".

TL;DR - If we placed a man like you or me or anyone with problems, in a reality where you had passive "income" of near-infinite, excellent choices in terms of dating completely for free - you would be healed of all your supposed problems very quickly. The issue is not those things you think you struggle with. They're just effects. The issue is the same as when someone is dehydrated - they just need that fucking water, that's all there is to it. That unlocks all the rest. The issue is learning how to get good at getting that water with scarcity of choice because once you do, you do it over all those guys who don't because they don't do what it takes. Once you do, you have more and more water, more and more social "nutrients" - the attention, the respect, the appreciation, the bonds, all that jazz. Nuclear TL;DR - keep looking for guys to go out with, keep going out daily, keep doing debriefs and noting lessons, repeat as regularly as you reasonably can.

Title	My first post here - 24 yo loser
Author	Infamous-Employ-2697
Upvotes	7
Comments	19
Date	September 7, 2025 12:37 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nafinh/my_first_post_here_24_yo_loser/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-first-post-here-24-yo-loser.1561461 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561461

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