30 Years old / 2 kids .. I need some advice from ppl who might have been here because I’m stuck.

I love her but I don’t think I’m in love with her. It’s been a long time coming, years really. I connected emotionally with another woman a few years back and she recently found out. The love I once had was already gone. I became a slave to marriage (work demanding job 4 days off a month come home / dishes / cook / kids to bed wake up repeat) no thank you’s no blowies no nothing

We’ve tried to reconnect communicate but she belittles me constantly about the emotional affair. Says I should be on my hands and knees begging for her back along with other disrespectful shit. But the reality is I don’t feel like I’m in love with her.

Maybe I’m just venting but I do not want to be married for the sake of the kids I want to feel connected to the person (not that I would ever get married again because I’m going to get bent over) but I can’t spend the rest of my days miserable.

My kids are hardest part does it get better / the fear of seeing them only 50%?