Getting ditched by girls at bars

Ok-Orange7146 · 2025-10-19T10:02:11+00:00

Good on you for escalating so fast. The problem is you are tiptoeing around what you want. After making out for a bit, invite her back home. If she says no, either take contact info or not and bounce to another girl.

STOP GIVING HER ANY MORE OF YOUR ATTENTION.

A lot of girls seek attention when they go out. They want to feel like guys want them and they love to make out and just have fun But they might not want anything more that night unless its with a guy they really want.

So if you want something more, you have to stop giving them endless attention and eventually say, come back with me. You have to do this so you can eventually find the girls who do wanna sleep with you that night.

Then you will see the ones who are really down for you and the ones who have no interest whatsoever in actually letting you penetrate them but don’t mind making out and getting some free attention for the night.

It’s a numbers game.

EducationalArmy9152 · 2025-10-19T13:53:30+00:00

Dude you need to read the game. All my advice has ever pointed to from people who are experienced is this; Newton’s first law states you can’t pull a girl from a two set without a wingman. Jokes aside it’s freakishly true that’s why they say you gotta isolate the girl. It’s part of the girl code to be protective and discerning of the other girls potential mates. It’s almost what friends are for. On the other end of the spectrum girls can be incredibly jealous. Now they are single and see another one of their single girls potentially ditching them; going home with someone and god forbid they’re going home with someone good looking!? That ain’t happening on their watch. Unfortunately they lack middle ground and having a good wingman to distract the other girls (with literally saying anything; talking about the weather whatever) is a godsend.

ImpossibleBritches · 2025-10-19T10:07:47+00:00

High quality problem.

This is a good plateau to be at.

The friend is seeing the buying temperature of her friend rise. They are colluding to prevent sex.

I dont game in clubs so much anymore. But I found that two things helped:

More rapport building with the woman you want. Get her to see you as human.

Make friends with the friends. Make them allies to your seduction attempt.

Ymmv.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-10-19T18:43:03+00:00

You give them too much too early. If the night is still young and: - she's there to have fun - she already knows for sure that you like her - She already knows for sure that if she takes you home you will try to have sex. Then she will lose interest . She will put you in a corner of her head as a "last option" then she will move on with her night .

One of the ways to avoid that is to not stay long the first time you talk to a group. 2 to five minutes max then move to another group. Then come back later , game her a bit then leave again . Then the third time now stay and try to pull.

topher_atx · 2025-10-19T16:58:13+00:00

I've experienced something maybe related: drunk girls that forget about you the next day.

Bars & nightclubs are good places for meeting people. But I've found often times you never hear from these women again after they sober up the next day.

For me, I think I'm going to stop going to bars & nightclubs. Take this past Friday night, which may have been my last night out, I rode my motorcycle down 6th Street in Austin, TX to my favorite bar. As I roll up to park this babe outside the bar says she wants to go for a ride, so I take her for a spin around the block and end up hanging out with her and her equally hot friend for the night. We'll we're hanging out and I find out they're having to sneak off the bathroom frequently to do cocaine. By the end of the night, 2am, they want to keep going and go to after hours and what not (I just end up going home at 2).

This sums up two of the big problems with night game:

1) You meet low quality women with low character who have attractive bodies because they use stimulants (vapes, Adderall, cocaine) NOT because they diet & exercise.

2) They forget about you the next day. Many attractive women have jumped on the back of my motorcycle on 6th Street, but I've never seen any of them a second time.

I'm not saying night game doesn't work, but it comes with some significant downsides. For me, I'm going to try making some major half time adjustments, and start fishing somewhere else. Wish me luck.

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2025-10-19T16:50:43+00:00

Isolate, I don't bother with dancing at all
Screen for logistics to see if pulling her that night is even possible ("what are you doing after this? Who are you here with? How do you know each other?" etc)
Get the number earlier with the context that you want to meet her "in real life" for a date
The phenomenon you're experiencing is called "conferencing." When girls conference together they not always but often convince your girl not to be involved with you. You can remedy this by:

Preoccupying the girl by bouncing her around the venue (let's go to the bar, oh come over here and meet my friends, let's go outside for some fresh air, etc) so she doesn't get the chance to conference
If she insists on going back to her friends tell her to introduce them to you and just come off as a generally respectable good guy to them. Also be engaging them in their presence so they can't talk 1-1.
Have a wing who preoccupies the friends and validates them so they don't feel invalidated by their friend being validated by you

If it's unavoidable for her to split from her friends, invite them all back to your place as a group. You can probably frame it as an "afterparty" but be careful with that term it got overused by PUAs in the 2010s. It seems like it should be fine now though because pickup is dead in the 2020s.
Worse comes to worse, default to getting the number and setting up a date. Most girls in nightgame won't pull that night. It's better to leverage her commitment from a makeout into setting up a date on the spot and getting the number. So remember to do that as quickly as possible because makeouts and physical intimacy without context can be fleeting and the emotions can pass quickly.

Effective_Ad_1485 · 2025-10-20T00:38:02+00:00

Early 20s girls suck I swear to god - yes they’re fuck toys at that age but they only reach that super hot feminine woman energy after 35

Sure-Wish3240 · 2025-10-19T09:45:46+00:00

You sound Very sucessful for your age. Eye contact ( Very important!!), talking, touching, dancing, making out. All of it suggests that you perceived by girls as a potential partner.

But remember she has 100+ messages to respond on the dating app. You are a 7-8 and she is looking for a 9-10 among the myriad of males orbiting her.

Up your game. Hit the gym more, earn more money. Do your best to be funny and do not make her see How desperate you are for intimacy.

I look back at my pictures in my 20s. I was handsome. Hot indeed. But i was poor and desperate for intercourse. Looks help. Money and confidence help even more.

Sorry_Ad5228 · 2025-10-19T11:25:31+00:00

It's intentional. I am a girl and I know what's going on. What you need to do is slow down and work on being more awesome. Don't kiss unless she kisses you first and always act mildly (really mildly) uninterested. But make sure she knows it's not a you problem. You have kissed and taken other girls home but make this one feel like she is not as much of a catch. Don't stop being entertaining and awesome. Also, there is a way to fix this but I am not sure if reddit will allow me to talk about it. It's a bit unconventional.

SpecFroce · 2025-10-19T15:59:26+00:00

Get some satisfaction out by shouting «golddigger and timewaster after her».

classyjerk007 · 2025-10-20T13:26:43+00:00

She’s never yours. Its just your turn. Always be independent of outcome and don’t expect anything back. Be it one night, or one year or several years.

Total_Obligation_371 · 2025-10-21T01:45:39+00:00

How many times has this happened? Approximately how long are you on the dance floor before her friends come?

It's completely normal for a girl to dance with / make out with you. And it's completely normal to be having a "good interaction" and the girls friends tear her away and she completely forgets you exist. Sometimes it can happen multiple times a night.

The main reason girls go out is for stimulation of some kind, whether it's music, drugs, and the party atmosphere, to get attention from guys, or to flirt with / get physical with a guy or two. A girl dancing with you or making out with you doesn't necessarily mean she will sleep with you, or that she even likes / values you that much. You could just be one of the only guys who made some type of move and you meet her minimums and she's a little horny.

Girls have so much abundance that there's no reason for them to ever go out of their way to facilitate anything. They know for sure that they can get mostly what they want sexually at any given time. So if her friends pull her away, she won't view it as a lost opportunity or think about how the guy feels, you're just one in a long line of guys before and after that she will do the same thing with. It's nothing personal, she just has abundance.

Also the girls are much more affected by social pressure, so she won't want to ruin her reputation by arguing with her friends about pulling her away. As far as her not acknowledging you when she sees you again, also abundance. She might not even realize it's you, or she might not care because, again, you're just one of a huge amount of guys that she will do that with at some point in her life.

You basically need to have the same mindset as her. Oh well, you lost another girl, there will be more.

As far as how to fix the situation, there's a couple things you can do.

Don't be on the dance floor for too long or drag the interaction out longer than it needs to be. Pull her away and isolate her somewhere so you guys can talk / do whatever alone and then pull her shortly after. In your post you said that by the time the girl leaves, it's too late to get another girl. That makes me think that you're spending too long with each girl. If you can tell that it's on, you don't need to just stay there and keep making out or dancing, move things forward.
Approach more girls overall and don't stop approaching until the bar closes or you close. I'm going to assume you're out for the average four hour period that most guys are (10pm-2am). In that amount of time, you can fairly easily approach 15 to 20 girls. Statistically speaking, if you start approaching right when you get to your first venue, and assuming you're not spending an unnecessary amount of time with any one girl, you should be pulling most girls well before the bar closes. And even if the bar is close to closing, that doesn't mean that you can't still get a random girl that only takes 10 minutes from open to pull.

I'm assuming you don't game often or you just started since most people who do it consistently understand that negative waves happen. Just apply what I said above and stick with it and you'll get out of this dry spell soon enough.

Few-Station9214 · 2025-10-19T12:00:48+00:00

They have no empathy for men Estrogen reduces empathy for men They treat you like an object

AlastairXXL · 2025-10-19T13:55:03+00:00

Sounds like you have great game but are approaching girls outta your league

Title	Getting ditched by girls at bars
Author	Club__Paradise
Upvotes	26
Comments	35
Date	October 19, 2025 9:22 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oal7z1/getting_ditched_by_girls_at_bars/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-ditched-by-girls-at-bars.1564477 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564477

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