Just because you spend a lot of money on a date doesn't mean she has an obligation to kiss you or sleep with you, that's you leading yourself on, not her if you believe that she has an obligation to do it.

Some of you read this title and thought "Duh. that's obvious, what's the next thing you are gonna tell me? that water is wet?", but there are many men who don't understand this.

For those who are lazy to read this post to understand why, the summary is that the transactional mindset does not work on dating because women will simply not feel any moral obligation to honor your expectations and that's a man's problem, not the woman's problem.

Many men complain that they pay for drinks or dinner dates, or even trips to the same hotel but on different rooms and then get no sex, or a kiss of anything and accuse women of using them.

Well, what if I told you that women don't have any obligation at all to have sex with you or kiss you, or give you anything in return for paying for drinks, dinners or the trip that you chose to invite her to voluntarily?

If you invite her to drinks/dinner or whatever, it's because you want to out of pure selfless generosity without expecting anything in return, not because you are entering an implicit agreement where she has to give you sex or a kiss as payment for it in the end.

And if you expected to get something for it then you could have been 100% clear by saying:

"Hey I'm buying you drink, or inviting you to dinner,... etc, but only if you promise you will give me a kiss or sex (or whatever it is that you hope to get), if you don't want to then say it so I'll save my money and neither of us waste each other's time".

But of course you wouldn't say it like this right? Because you know all of them would probably say no and yeah you'd be right.

Men don't say it blatantly because they expect its expected, but expectations are not contracts. There is no such thing as expectations = obligations when you are meeting someone.

A woman does not and will not behave according to what you think she should do or what you think she owes you, let alone when she is not even your girlfriend or wife.

If a man thinks he can get away with that by simply thinking: "well i spent a lot of money on her so she should know i will want sex at the end and she should comply and open her legs".

Then that's his problem because in his script the woman was supposed to say yes to something she never verbally agreed to in the first place. He led himself on, not the woman.

So when a woman doesn't follow that rule that you thought she had an obligation to comply with, you then cannot really accuse her of using you when they never promised to give you anything.

There are no rules or norms in dating that people have to adhere to, and your entire frustration comes from the erroneous belief that people have to conform to a societal standard or universal protocol of behavior.

- If you regret taking her out, it's a YOU problem, not hers

If you are the type of guy that takes a girl on a date, spends a lot of money on her, sacrifices so much time and you do not get laid... Sorry, but your feelings of regret, disappointment or frustration are your problem.

Whether you waste time and money is your problem, cuz she never put a gun to your head to spend your money. That is your responsibility.

If a woman doesn't want to go on a date, unless you pay that still doesn't mean she owes you sex, that's still your responsibility because you can simply say no.

If you did not want to waste your time and money, you should not have spent money or gone on a date in the first place. Just because you spend money or dedicate time to a woman doesn't mean the result is guarantee to go the way you hope.

Let alone when she hasn't even promised that sex was guaranteed verbally and clearly.

You cannot blame women for not following your plan that you unilaterally created in your head about what she should do according to you in return for your effort or investment.