I live with a woman of my life and we never fought in these 5 years of our relationship.
We have a baby on the way.

Problem?
We were about to get married and after reading the marriage laws and family laws in our country, I was left puzzled and shocked in how many different ways she can ruin my life without any reason or justification. The marriage contract appeared to be a slavery contract to me.

I talked to her about it and I said that I just feel like it is a contract providing many ways how to hurt a man but providing zero ways for accountability of any partner in the relationship.

On top of that I realize that a judge or whatever we country we live win, will impose different laws upon us and our marriage.

She said ok and cried silently... We just had a religious symbolic ceremony and that's it.
One year down the road she is happier than ever.
Our relationship is so responsible and full of checks and balances.

  1. She doesn't have a feeling that she can "ruin" me but I also don't feel like a slave for having a woman.
  2. We agreed that I keep the business I own but I buy a house on her name as a form of security in case we do get divorced.
  3. For example, now I can listen to her complaints and know that she is REALLY upset, whereas in a marriage swinging her divorce papers at me, I always would feel that she is just abusing the power she got without really acknowledging that she maybe is actually right about what she i saying.
  4. I believe that women and men are equal, I don't see why we need laws regulating our relationship?! Are we not adults and can't we draft the story of our lives the way we want it?
  5. Now I know that the property I gave her (my house is now legally hers) is literally MY WILL OUT OF MY LOVE!! NOT forced upon me by some judge or someone from the court!
  6. I know that she is with me not for the money or trying to "take the half" because when we married, I promised her no money or property at all! I know that she loves me. With money and marriage laws, I never would have been 100% sure.
  7. I really don't understand how these marriage laws benefit women? Any woman can clarify it to me? From my point of view, you are trading in the sincerity and love, the feeling of comfort and the man who trusts you... and what you get is a hypothetical $$ but you have to literally ruin your family and marriage to get that money.
  8. PROBLEM? Society looks at us like we are weirdos, including my own mother. My mother thinks I am taking advantage of her. Especially since we have a baby on the way. My mother tells me "she trusts you way too much!"

Ways she could ruin my life:

  1. She can ofc take half of what I have (we are in a western EU country that really does respect this law)
  2. She gets the custody ofc, I get to see the kids equal amount of time but she can move to another city and I'd have to follow her around the world to see my kids. I won't have that right.
  3. I have to pay alimony for her around 35% of my paycheck
  4. I would have to pay alimony for the kids (around 40% of my paycheck.)
  5. In essence, I would have to give her 75% of my paycheck by default.
  6. She could bill "additional" costs that were not planned that I have to pay in as well
  7. So in reality she COULD take 80% probably of my paycheck.
  8. Since that would leave me with so little cash, she couldn't take more money from me, if I am already robbed down till 1500 euros or something. From that point I keep that for my own survival.
  9. She could take way more than half of what I earned during the marriage >if the value of my inheritance grows. She could ask for 50% of the capital gains on any proprty I get from my dad or grandpa or my mom. She could for example get a half of my grandpas house and sell it just to emotionally hurt me.
  10. If she gets 50% of my business, she could block my business decisions, essentially driving the business to a complete collapse, leaving me with nothing.

People call me insecure and not trusting her? How?
It's not me asking for any binding laws or contracts, since her promise is enough.
Is husbands promise not enough? Are their female partners not trusting them?
Does my judgemental mother trust my father? Why did she need these laws and contracts? Why not trust him and his promise? How was he not offended by that?

EDIT: on subreddits marriage, relationship and AIO everyone thinks I am a complete lunatic and an insane manipulator