Custody plan?

TxAlive · 2025-12-18T23:52:07+00:00

A lot of what you say is why my wife wants to stay in the house. But she can’t afford to refi and can’t afford the payments. I’m the only one on the mortgage, and currently pay for everything. So I’ll be able to keep it going. At least for a few years. But she is fighting like hell to NOT be the one to move out, because of the perception of it all.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-12-18T17:02:02+00:00

But that would give me the most transparency for work.

the other parents schedule is not longer a factor
any chance you give your ex to screw you they will take it

Im 2-2-5-5 so I have 5 day stretches solo. THats probably about the best you'll get. Now what you can also do is work in Right of First refusal. I.e. if you're not able to execute your time you give the other parent the first chance at taking the time, then you get a sitter/accommodations.

no_user_selected · 2025-12-18T15:42:30+00:00

We have 55/45, She gets Monday after school through Friday, and I pick up Friday after school and drop our son off at school Monday morning. The 2nd weekend of the month, I get Thursday after school instead of Friday. I wanted 50/50, but this was as far as she would go without going to trial.

It works good for business trips because I can fly out Monday after I drop him off at school, and get back on Thursday night.

It also helped that she works 12 hours shifts Friday/Sat/Sun.

hotantipasta · 2025-12-18T14:55:29+00:00

Nobody gets everything they want in a divorce. 7/7 is a very common schedule and if your ex's only reason is that she doesn't want to be away from kids for 7 days, then she will have to deal with it. If you go before a judge, your argument is much more likely to prevail since you having a stable job provides a stable home when they are with you.

DetroiterInTX · 2025-12-18T14:29:40+00:00

We did 7/7, and it felt like offering the kids the most stability. Despite all the challenges my ex wanted to make, this was one that we easily agreed on—transition after school Friday, give them the weekend to reset, and not impact school.

Whenever work travel came up, we adjusted so the other would take the kids during that time.

Objective-Fan-5464 · 2025-12-18T14:16:58+00:00

I travel for work as well (consulting), but work from home most of the time. During the divorce I actually did the math, I was away about 36 nights per year (~10% of the calendar, ~14% of weekdays). That helped reframe things and take emotion out of it

The key predictability and control. I’m at a level where travel is required but I largely control when it happens. I ended up with the Texas Standard Possession Order (so not 50/50), and it’s worked well because it’s predictable and easy to plan around, with flexibility when travel pops up.

If 7/7 feels like too long apart, some common alternatives I’ve seen work:

2-2-5-5 – Very common compromise. No one is away from the kids more than 5 days, and you get consistent weekdays to plan travel.
3-4-4-3 – Slightly longer blocks but still avoids a full 7-day separation.
Primary schedule + flex travel clause – 2-2-5-5 (or similar) with pre-agreed swaps or banking overnights so total time stays equal over a quarter/year.
School-week vs weekend split (if travel is weekday-heavy) – One parent handles most school weeks, the other gets extended weekends and makeup time.

Big lesson for me: a stable schedule + built-in flexibility tends to work better long-term than chasing a “perfect” 50/50 calendar.

Title	Custody plan?
Author	TxAlive
Upvotes	3
Comments	23
Date	December 18, 2025 1:46 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ppr7ll/custody_plan/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/custody-plan.1569145 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569145

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