So, I'm a little heartbroken. I posted about my situation here a while ago about a man I used to date, then was casually seeing, and then started dating again for a month or so. Everything on our dates were going perfect (he talked about timelines, kids, my thoughts on people moving in before engagement, where I'd like to live in the future, buying me a Christmas gift, spending the holidays togehter) but he pulled away and told me I have everything he wants in a partner in terms of looks, youth, intelligence, education, being traditional, sweet, etc and he knows me long enough to know that I bring him peace but he doesn't know why he can't feel it in his heart and he tried to like me but he can't feel the spark and it's either there or not. Mind you, I've ended things with him at least 3 times and every time he came back which has been disorienting to me too.

He said everytime he sees me again, he thinks to himself that he needs to build a future with me and that I'd make a great wife and a mom. However, he also told me that he hasn't felt romantically for any woman in the past 4-8 years (he's 35, I'm 24) and I know he has rejected many women exactly at the 1-2 months. His dad has been married 3 times and his mom has a lot of mental health problems and he opened up to me about all of these recently.

Now, he has talked about hating party girls and how all girls are boring and just party, but this tells me that he probably goes for the chaotic party girl (no disrespect or judgement at all, for the lack of a better term) or toxic girls which is actually what I used to be before I went to therapy.

I truly want to find a long-term partner and this man was the only man I have been with after my ex boyfriend. I also asked him to not text me again because having him in my life is like an open file that prevents me from connecting with new men which is not fair to them or to me. He got a bit sad but said he understands.

As I'm taking some time to reflect, I'm starting to think whether I need to be less nice and sweet to men if I want to find a good man who'll make a good husband? My friends coworkers they always tell me I'm very sweet and nice but maybe that's not the way to be and it's "boring"? I would truly appreciate any advice :)