Does being nonchalant or confident work?

hwillis891 · 2025-12-29T01:06:36+00:00

You talk a lot with the girls you match?

No.

Don’t talk a lot with prospective dates. Get a little chemistry going, then ask for the number. Talk on the phone a little so she knows you aren’t a stalker or creep, then make the date. Frame it like a date, and make some sort of move when you’re ready.

Keep it simple man. The more you talk, the less she’ll be interested because you haven’t left anything to the imagination and you’re too outcome dependent. Talk a lot with your buddies, they don’t give a shit and you aren’t trying to have sex with your buddies. You’re trying to have sex with these women, so treat it as such. Don’t get too overly talkative with women.

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-28T21:06:35+00:00

It increases your chances of success to be confident.

Not every girl is gonna like you just because you are confident, but most girls will definitely dislike you if you are not confident.

So being confident is the bare minimum, not an optional thing, or a jedi mind trick to win them all.

Everything else you mentioned is just optional tactics and social skills, but confidence is the root base of it all

Without confidence nothing works. With confidence, some of those things can work here and there.

tattooedpanhead · 2025-12-29T16:54:14+00:00

You really need to learn to D.G.A.D. “Don’t Give A Damn”. That means to be indifferent, be fearless and shameless, and don’t care about what other people think.

Also while it's important to build rapport by talking to her. It's equally important to break rapport. This is because women want to pursue as well as be pursued. Do this by waiting for a break in the conversation and then you turn your back and walk away for a second or two. Don’t leave for good, just find an excuse to drop the conversation completely and break away. Check your phone, or send a text. But just for a moment. Then you turn around and come back.

By talking too much, you risk boring her and making her feel uninterested. You also risk giving away too much information about yourself. You want to create a little mystery around your self. This will make you seem more interesting.

D.G.A.D. also means you bring up sex as soon as possible. If she says anything that even remotely implies sex, call her out on it. If she accuses you of just wanting sex, remind her that that's the point, that's why we're all here, but that she hasn't qualified herself to you yet.

Her "You just want to sleep with me." or what ever. Your response "well of course. isn't that why we're here? But to be honest I haven decided yet". This presents you as a challenge. Remember women want to pursue as well as be pursued. And this gives her a reason to do that.

How to be nonchalant, not care a lot about her. Remember that she's just a silly little ball of confused emotions, treat her as such.

Also you should be escalating from the start. Being suggestive in a joking way so you have plausible deniability. But if she or anyone calls you out on something you said. Ignore them and keep going, plow right through the objections.

Because you don't give a damn. You're not there to be the nice guy. And you won't get laid being the nice guy ether.

Use any and all excuse to touch her and lead her. Don't wait, when you meet, take her by the hand and walk her to the date location like she is a child you need to keep track of. When you open a door for her. Put your hand at the small of her back and lead her inside. Then keep it there as you go to the table/seat. When you open the car door put your hand on the top of her head so she doesn't bump it on the top of the door way.

Give her a nickname that's a little bit objectionable. Like my little hart breaker or my favorite headache.

Always look for way's to take control. For example order for her. Never be indecisive as it makes you look like you lack confidence. If you're nervous say so. A little venerability goes a long way.

Also introduce her as a friend until she shows you she deserves to be the girl friend. If she try's to say you're her boyfriend correct her.

Always watch her reactions to everything you do. So you can make adjustments as necessary.

Most of all remember you don't give a damn.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2025-12-29T03:32:53+00:00

Confidence helps but it's how you present it.

Dont force yourself to be something you are not. You should always practice your social skills when it comes to dating, flirting etc.

But when you try to play games, a lot of times girls see right through it. Just be yourself.

When you are yourself, that automatically shows confidence, because you do not care what this girl thinks about you, you just want to be yourself.

I think the advice about non-chalant for me means more like, dont give yourself to this girl you barely know. Dont try to "WOW" her becaus eyou want to date her. Just be yourself and treat it like you are talking to a bro. Just a bro youd like to fuck.

LIke if you have guy friends, do you talk shit with them? If you do then do similar with girls, just talk shit. Make funny comments and jokes.

PerformerDesigner937 · 2025-12-28T20:50:01+00:00

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-12-28T23:47:41+00:00

You're getting some terrible advice. The whole backbone of going on dates is to get to know each other and see if you'd make a potentially worthwhile couple. She needs to know about you and you to know about her. It's beyond silly to think anyone "already knows too much about you." That's just not possible based on a few messages on apps. Don't be purposefully aloof as some kind of dating strategy. You want a potential partner who can communicate well and that includes you doing the same.

New_Banana3858 · 2026-01-01T06:48:24+00:00

Yes. We human beings filter information, in terms of how sure someone is of themselves.

So if you doubt yourself others will doubt you.

Belief is literally... what created everything we have on this earth.

pie-mart · 2026-01-07T02:41:28+00:00

As a woman confidence is attractive. If a man acts too aloof or nonchalant it ends up giving "not passionate" and why would I want to sleep with a guy who isn't passionate and seems bored about life? Im risking pregnancy for a guy who won't even try to have good sex or act like he cares about sex?

I only get with guys who understand how to make sex fun for me vs just trying to get sex to feed his appetite. And the nonchalant dudes don't just not care about life, they don't care about sex and they don't care about pleasing you.

Nonchalant men are the worst bed mates in the world. Even virgins do better, because virgins care

Title	Does being nonchalant or confident work?
Author	Ok-Abalone-937
Upvotes	33
Comments	12
Date	December 28, 2025 8:44 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1py1yk7/does_being_nonchalant_or_confident_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-being-nonchalant-or-confident-work.1569903 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569903

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