I've noticed in the past few years that Instagram has lost its effectiveness as a tool for bridging between an initial meeting and a date.

It was easier in the past to use a profile and stories to keep a girl warm. This isn't the case today.

In this post, I will discuss why I think this is and a few remedies.

  1. Doomscrolling

Over the past few years, the nature of Instagram has changed. It used to be a app to connect with people in your life by sharing photos and short 'stories' videos. On top of that, it was an okay messaging.

Recently, it's become an app to get dopamine hits via swiping short form reels. This has changed the nature of the app and people's emotional association with it. It seems far less personal than before. It's more like a TV. Messages become something that interferes with the main purpose and emotional association that people have with Instagram -- which is now brain rot entertainment.

  1. Increased interest in privacy

People are much more privacy-focused than they were in the 2010s - when flaunting activities and lifestyle was the norm. Today, any sort of flexing is seen as try-hard. And any sort of try-hard behavior is seen as low-status and Third World coded.

This has two results.

Firstly, people simply post on Instagram less. When they do, it's much less personal. Whereas before you could comment on a girl's stories and get a conversation started, nowadays very few people actually post stories. The small subset of girls who do post personal stories are validation-farming, and that's it's own issue. So there simply isn't as much of an opportunity to initiate or keep a conversation going to liking or commenting on stories (again, because posting stories is no longer the purpose of the app).

Secondly, if you post a lot, especially in an unfocused or mindless manner, you simply increase the chance of leaving a bad impression. Someone who posts a story every day or every other day simply seems weird now.

Are there workarounds?

Yes. Here's two.

  1. Stop connecting on Instagram.

Take a number or messaging app (WhatsApp, WeChat, Line, etc) instead. This gets her onto an app or medium that she associates with communicating with people. Additionally, you don't run the risk of creating a poor impression we're looking too available through your posts.

  1. Be more focused with the image you present

The people who still do well on Instagram have a very focused profile. They present a one-dimensional and easy to understand image. Presenting yourself as complex (gym bro who enjoys hiking and reading philosophy) creates too many opportunities for a woman to identify something she doesn't like. It leaves too little mystery. You're an open book... And a boring one.

Thus, you need to hone in on one specific activity or attribute that you present in a really clear and well way. This way, you seem like the star/pro when it comes to this one thing. If you have multiple interests, have multiple Instagram accounts for them.

Likewise, any sort of try hard behavior on Instagram is going to work against you. And more things come across as try-hard: displays of wealth, perfect looking photos, etc. A picture of yourself with a celebrity in your profile: it doesn't make you look high status. It makes you look like just another fan of that celebrity. Tagging a location looks try-hard unless you're the one lending status to the location. Tagging other people looks lower status as well. So again, less is more, focused is better than scattered.

Very interested to hear what other people think about this topic.

Have you found that Instagram has become less effective as a tool for dating? Have you adjusted? Have you migrated to other apps (Locket seems to be popular with younger people in some countries) Or are you still using IG the same way as you were five or six years ago, while getting the same or better results.