theres no real way to vet a womans character even after meeting her. And the usual signals people point to job, friends, lifestyle, social circle is somewhat telling but doesnt tell you everything about mental stability or how someone behaves in a relationship.

My brother met his ex (great job, personality, family, etc) on hinge and later found out she had a pattern of cheating in several past relationships.. something none of her friends (obviously) ever mentioned. Months in, he also discovered she had been hiding personal struggles with physche meds and had developed an emotional involvement with a coworker. What frustrated him most was realizing he had invested months into something that wasn’t fully transparent from the start. He is a very popular user with lots of likes so this is a great example of why high value men are so picky and reluctant to commit these days

Someone can be successful, social, and well-liked and still be chaotic, impulsive, or emotionally volatile behind closed doors. they can even fool producers on the bachelor into thinking they are wholesome and stable. (Taylor Frankie Paul great example

Online, you’re judging off: sexy photos, texting, curated highlights.. None of which reliably reflect how someone handles conflict, loyalty, honesty, or emotional control. So people fill in the blanks with assumptions and hope they’re right but hope is a poor vetting strategy.

At best, you’re dealing with mixed signals, juggling, ghosting, and inconsistency, people presenting one version of themselves while living another. At worst, you run into behavior that’s genuinely destabilizing, manipulation, volatility, or patterns that can seriously impact your life. The issue isn’t men or women. It’s that modern dating removed context, and replaced it with guesswork.

In any other area of life, trust is built through networks: Jobs have references. Airbnb has reviews. Even Uber drivers are rated. Dating? Nothing. People are forced to rely on intuition alone will be problematic for the masses. the only way to fix is with an actual robust review system for mentally stability or something along those lines