"Attract, don't chase." I wonder where that has taken you in life. Are there exceptions to chase assertively?

Current-Paramedic-50 · 2026-04-14T02:00:43+00:00

Its a good rule that can be bent or broken when you understand why it exists.

Attraction evaporates when women sense you are pursuing from desperation or lack of choice.

Seeking without attachment is not unattractive.

Matt-Choo · 2026-04-14T04:57:04+00:00

I would set up a first date over the phone and then stop chasing the girl on the apps until the first date and more recently they communicated with me that my not messaging came off as a lack of interest.. a few told me just that and I told them I didn’t want to just be penpals until we met because I feel like the luster of surprise is ruined in some cases with coming in too strong before you get to know the person..

WebNew9978 · 2026-04-15T06:10:52+00:00

If I didn’t approach women, I would have a nonexistent dating and sex life. I still have a nonexistent dating and sex life even after approaching but I tried at least

justarandomuser10 · 2026-04-14T00:28:19+00:00

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puma085 · 2026-04-14T06:27:29+00:00

I think is a good midset but just for teenagers and guys in their 20s. As soon as old a degeneration starts it is a bad advice. I know that I am just 40 and not 80. I also do not consider mysef as the ugliest human being in the world of humans. But I have some weekspots that stick out like a sore tump which makes it impossible fo to me attract. I will not get fare in the world of attraction af the first sight. for younger folks giving their best, and try represent something great is a neat advice. For older folks on the other hand a better strategy would be to to cultivate properties that are not visible on the first glance.

Chew_512 · 2026-04-15T12:24:09+00:00

Since my (M25) last breakup in October 2023 I made this my case. Yes I would meet girls and I was in a really good place financially, mentally, emotionally, etc. Girls would come and go and if you show 0 desperation and make yourself interesting they stick around and when things dont work out and they see you can live your life without them they ALWAYS come back.

Terrible_Assist_1345 · 2026-04-16T09:25:00+00:00

What is good about this mindset is that it puts you into self improvement mode. What is bad is that it makes you passive in situations.

In my openion it's best to do both. Start improving yourself and after that you can take action.

Known-Student-381 · 2026-04-16T16:41:25+00:00

Passivity isn't the benefit of the mindset, detachment is. Here's a quirky example: I have a habit of trying to block people when they toss trash into a wastebasket. I think it's funny when I manage to intercept the garbage. But obviously, it's just a dumb little game I play with myself and friends. It comes with a few lessons, though.

I don't care if I miss. Again, it's literally just swatting paper balls and tissues out of the air. I don't lose sleep or anything if they make it past me. It's possible to meaningfully try while not being attached to the outcome
If I tense up too much, they see it coming, so they dont throw. I cant overthink the opportunity, I just wait until I see it and keep my cool. Many people in life will avoid including you if you make them second-guess your intentions.
Opportunities arise organically, and there's always another in the future. Don't try to cut open your golden goose.

So yeah, that's my zen of being obnoxious. There's a lot to learn from playing silly games. It's a study in being present and receptive to things that present themselves, while not overcomitting to any one goal (chasing). Strive to knownthe least required to get the outcome you need, and accept that not every situation bears fruit, even if any situation could. Most of it is out of your control, and that should be a comfort which informs your strategy

Rare-Degree-9596 · 2026-04-15T01:25:38+00:00

I do a little of both, chasing puts me on their radar and into their circle of friends, who I make my allies.

I attract them through proximity, engagement and dialog, then I put myself into their arena to get their attention.

Finally, I kinda make myself the center of their immediate universe.

Title	"Attract, don't chase." I wonder where that has taken you in life. Are there exceptions to chase assertively?
Author	r1pp3r_10
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	April 14, 2026 12:06 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1skslwk/attract_dont_chase_i_wonder_where_that_has_taken/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/attract-dont-chase-i-wonder-where-that-has-taken.1577881 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577881

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