I'm curious what you guys think about this. I know this isn't a problem for everyone but it is for some of us.

Sometimes everything is going well with a girl that you really like and she pulls back, showing less interest. The correct thing to do in this situation is to match her: pull back and show less interest.

The thing that's interesting about that is that an apparent decrease in investment like that can actually be a huge investment that requires significant self-control. We want to continue complimenting, asking questions, flirting, whatever, so we need to work against our own desires, hold ourselves back actively when she does this. To her, it appears as if we're suddenly investing much less, but to us we feel that we're suddenly investing much more. This is why I call it the paradox.

You can either continue to do what you want, which she will perceive as investment and drop you because she sees you as over-investing... or you can start investing significantly more in self-control and hold back.

Why does this occur? What causes this problem?

Is there anyone else who struggled with this before but now doesn't struggle with it?

Any other thoughts on it?