Wife left w/kids (separation?)

Overall-Passion-7374 · 2026-07-04T14:22:09+00:00

“She claims she doesn’t love me and…” dude I’m so sorry. Not being sure what to do is totally normal — when going through it saying this would be kind — I was a fucking disaster when in separation. Feelings you can’t escape from of being screwed are awful — your mind keeps these thoughts churning they don’t help it’s like treachery from within.

“To be like her mother’s…therefore a false marriage.” Your wife can go fuck herself.

So uh —- what are you gonna do?

Grassfed_Burp · 2026-07-02T21:58:44+00:00

In divorce and even in separation, nothing is ever fair. Forget making things fair or balanced. Step 1) Figure out how to give your kids the very best of you. 2) Find a lawyer. At least talk to three good ones. This will set you up for success later on for lots of reasons. 3) Continue to be nice. Being kind helps the kids. 4) Document all your nice stuff. It may help in court, because judges get sick of parents bashing each other. 5) Get a therapist. If you can't, find a friendly ear to talk to. If you can't find that, get a dog. 6) Walk at least 2 miles per day. 5 is better. 7) Ride the emotional waves rather than fighting them. It's OK the cry like a baby in the driveway before walking in the house. It also helps to find old stuff to break or wood to split.

NoFoundation9190 · 2026-07-02T07:32:19+00:00

She’s giving you a lot of time to set your finances. Make sure you talk to an attorney and secure your finances as much as possible. Then you wait for divorce. Give her divorce and see where life goes. I’m sure you’d enjoy the new found freedom. Otherwise you could start dating. If one door closes another opens.

PooferLlama · 2026-07-02T03:39:25+00:00

What do you want advice for? Saving your marriage? "Winning" a divorce?

TopInevitable1905 · 2026-07-02T03:02:24+00:00

If her mother lives further away, you have 6 months until the new location is consider residency and you become an every other weekend parent if the distance is too great.

Lovely_Minako · 2026-07-02T02:51:32+00:00

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Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-07-01T22:50:21+00:00

It’s time to consult a lawyer and protect yourself and your kids

DivorceCharacter512 · 2026-07-01T22:44:00+00:00

Your marriage is over. And it should be. The word that describes what she's done here is "desertion" and it's a ground for fault divorce in many states.

Get your kids back at least 50 percent of the time and start the process. If you dont already have an attorney on retainer and your accounts aren't separated, you're behind the eight ball.

A few things to consider.

No idea where her mother lives... it's Summer time. I'll bet your first month's alimony that she intends to enroll them into whatever school is closest to her new life.

If shes in another state, that state becomes the divorce venue at 6 months. Find out if that state is more or less favorable to her or you in the divorce process. You might want to consider an attempt to have a judge force her to return the children to their home.

Whether you believe I'm right or not... whatever lawyer she has hired or will hire is going to tell her to do all these things.

0neMinute · 2026-07-01T22:19:27+00:00

Sounds like she is trying out a new guy but wants you to wait out the honey moon stage

chevy_zr2_4x4 · 2026-07-01T21:43:25+00:00

Forget about her and your family. She isn't the woman you married. Your family doesn't exist anymore.

You need to go into survival mode for you and your kids.

She doesn't know what she wants... she's buying time. She's getting her ducks in a row to blindside you with divorce and a lawyer. Don't play defense! Get a lawyer and have her served. Get a parenting plan in place ASAP! Divide assets and split bank accounts. Otherwise, she may clean them out.

I realize this may be a lot to take in. But this is more than likely your future reality.

Focus on you! Your mental health, diet, don't drink, don't do drugs, and hit the gym. Be a great dad. You may legally be her husband right now, but you're not!

Good luck!

NilesGuy · 2026-07-01T21:21:00+00:00

OP I’ve seen this before & it’s over. She probably doesn’t want to spring divorce on you yet because she’s still figuring things out or wants time for you to adjust to the new reality that the both of you are no longer a couple. Forget about being a good husband because no matter what you do for her it won’t matter. She’s already made up her mind. In the meantime be the best dad you can be & focus on your kids. You also want to consult with a divorce attorney to know your rights & what the laws say in your state. I’d also start separating your finances , accounts immediately and continue being cordial & cooperative with her. If you can reach an agreed marital settlement agreement of 50/50 custody , divide up everything equally, I’d jump on it because the reality of situation divorce is extremely expensive. Focus on your kids & being the best version of yourself

slimypeters · 2026-07-01T21:18:27+00:00

Sounds like she checked out of the relationship. If things could continue to be amicable during separation and ultimately divorce, just make sure everything is split up evenly and have it in writing. It's just wild how could they just check out like that but who knows what's going on in their head. How old are the children? Hopefully ya'll could work out a parenting plan that revolves around them. It really sounds like you guys could separate without costly court sessions and lawyer fees and such. Good luck to you. Just focus on yourself and children from now on. Can't really save her or the marriage.

Title	Wife left w/kids (separation?)
Author	Hunteil
Upvotes	8
Comments	12
Date	July 1, 2026 9:03 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uky1az/wife_left_wkids_separation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-left-wkids-separation.1584068 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584068

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