More average guys that had and have a current fwbs, how often and long does it take to find one and how does it usually start?

thereecer13 · 2026-08-02T15:31:08+00:00

I’d consider myself extremely average and I’ve had success mostly on the apps although off the apps as well. Communication is key.

For the apps, be upfront about wanting something casual. This helps set expectations before you meet so there are no surprises. Don’t try to play the women looking for long-term or life partner (it can work but you won’t feel good about it). Once you make a connection, schedule a chill date like drinks. If you feel the vibe, you can escalate easily since they know what you’re looking for.

Off the apps it’s definitely harder. For me I just go to a lot of socials and meet a bunch of people. Apply the usual strategies people talk about on this sub. Usually it’s pretty obvious if someone is attracted to you. If you feel the spark, before escalating, be open about the fact you’re looking for something casual. You will usually get your answer on whether they’re down for fwb or not then.

Pureevil1992 · 2026-08-02T04:45:08+00:00

Its just random in my experience. Here's the thing first you need to get a woman you find attractive to sleep with you and like you. Then you need her to either want a relationship with you, or for her to be in a similar situation where she doesn't want a relationship with anyone but does want sex. Then you have to manage to continue to have sex without either of you developing feelings and ruining the whole thing. Its great when it works, but ive never had it last more than a few months and usually winds up with one person hoping for a relationship and the other person definitely doesn't want it, which is kind of selfish for the person who doesn't want a relationship to keep using the other for sex, but how you want to handle all that is up to you.

lovelearningloner · 2026-08-02T18:30:11+00:00

Fwb last like a couple months max. They always fizzle out because the lack of intimacy

Awkward_Freedom_4551 · 2026-08-02T21:51:10+00:00

go out and make friends with a lot of people, become social with everyone you encounter. then become friends, then start benefits by making a move. congrats

JackSquirts · 2026-08-02T20:00:53+00:00

Mine have only started two ways - a hookup or dating seriously but something doesn't fit for long term.

PUA_6EQUJ5 · 2026-08-04T08:56:10+00:00

About 2-3 dates to find but multiple tries to find a person I’m attracted to.
I’ve had fwbs for multiple years (3+)

norwegiandoggo · 2026-08-02T07:18:20+00:00

and it's all trying to get you to pay for some kind of membership.

You always end up paying to get women no matter what. Stingy dudes don't get laid and don't get FWBs. Paying for dating-apps has been the best investment of my life. You have no idea how many amazing women I have met because I pay, and you don't meet these women because you don't.

If you meet women in real life you also end up paying. Paying to get into the social venue to meet her, paying for the date, the Uber, the condoms, the lube the yada yada.

To get an FWB, here's what I have done:

Meet women (dating apps or real life)
Have sex with them by using seduction skills that are all covered in this sub.
Ask them if they want to meet again, then we have sex again. Repeat that a few times and you're now in an FWB. You don't even have to use the term "FWB" when communicating with them at all.

oliviacupcakeex · 2026-08-02T05:39:39+00:00

i will explain short but precise.

as a woman, i think it comes to you naturally. having fwbs doesn't always mean it should be prepared. sometimes a drink and an intimate stare from your friend is all that takes.

Title	More average guys that had and have a current fwbs, how often and long does it take to find one and how does it usually start?
Author	nuckingfuts0
Upvotes	113
Comments	25
Date	August 2, 2026 4:37 AM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vd8eu3/more_average_guys_that_had_and_have_a_current/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/more-average-guys-that-had-and-have-a-current-fwbs.1628724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1628724

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