FDS question about gamer guys?

MistressSelkie · 2021-04-12T23:49:21+00:00

If you enjoy video games as a hobby there’s nothing wrong with having a partner who enjoys the same hobby.

I think that you do need to consider the differences between women and men who make video games a part of their identity though. A lot of women will consider themselves a gamer while playing fewer hours per week than male players and while having a healthier balance, which is part of why some guys are like “women aren’t REAL gamers”. In my experience guys who play video games at a moderate level do not mention it as much and usually don’t refer to themselves as a gamer.

dancedancedance83 · 2021-04-13T02:00:28+00:00

I think it depends on the level of interest in gaming and how it fits into their identity. I’ve dated more “nerdy” men in my past and they, even the ones who weren’t that nerdy played video games to a point, but it was never a big deal; and I literally do not care about games at all. But I respect that most people/men do.

The more passionate ones would ask me to play with them like once or twice and I would or tell me about it but it never interfered with our relationship at all. I dumped them for different reasons. There was only one guy I briefly dated that made gaming his whole life and he wanted to become pro at LoL and from my understanding, he did. And I knew he liked gaming as a hobby, I usually tend to assume most men do, but he fit right into the stereotype of ignoring me and just being a really terrible and selfish person. And unwavering in it. I wanted to live a well rounded life and I left him to do so. Ironically, I met a guy who was also into the same game as him while I was still dating him and the other guy showed me, very clearly, that a man can put his lady first and still love gaming and get the rest of his shit done. I wish I had dated him instead lol.

I’m also a bit weary on gamer girls, like ones that perpetuate the fantasy that the gaming world can bring. The darker side of it. I feel some of them get something out of the whole circle jerk that comes from the creepy incel side of the gaming community. So it does feel weird to me if a person leans really heavily on “I’m a gamer” as a personality trait. But I guess I just don’t care in that way. I don’t lead with “I’m a hiker” or “I’m a music nerd” which I am, but there’s more to people than one hobby or interest.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-04-13T02:52:17+00:00

Often times when FDS discusses gamers, we're focusing on the type of man who has an obsessive and/or addictive personality and inclination towards media consumption. This is the kind of person who would rather sit on the couch than go for a walk, who would rather play a video game than turn to his partner after work and talk about their day. They are lacking ambition, they don't want to try new things, they experience the world through headphones, video screens, and their phone.

This goes for any partner hyper-focused or one dimensional in their interests. A guy who spends all week watching football and planning fantasy leagues is just as bad as a gamer. A guy who comes home and drinks a six pack and watches 5 hours of TV before bed is also just as bad as a gamer. HVM's are generally varied in interests, spend time with friends / family, enjoy new things, and are ambitious when it comes to their career or goals for the future.

Buckley92 · 2021-04-13T01:45:51+00:00

I absolutely think it's possible, but not as common.

I do know a guy who games, and he plays Doom and Super Mario. He also treats his fiancee like gold and she is everything to him.

The head of the local video games club however heads to the bar at Friday lunchtime, drinks for an hour, goes back to work, then goes back after work and continues drinking. Then he ends up talking away about video games and how great they are for the rest of the night.

pretty_kill · 2021-04-13T02:50:06+00:00

Most gamers are LVM because they put gaming over everything else in their life. Children get neglected, chores go undone, lack of hobbies outside video games.

Gaming social spaces online are filled with misogynists and pick me “cool girls”. I can’t tell you how often I hear straight up lies about political news in discord calls. Like people denying COVID exists or just straight up quoting conspiracy theories. Well rounded, educated, hard working people are rarely in these spaces.

They also usually have no issue with the problematic stuff in games and gaming communities. I’ve met some good gaming friends online, but to find one, I had to actively reject maybe a hundred people who sucked. Many also have anger issues.

A HVM who games casually probably exists. But if he adds little to no value because he plays video games too much, he is not HV. I would be wary of any guy that plays video games more than you. It could leave you burdened with more responsibility of the housework, cooking, and potentially childcare once things get more serious.

oddcharm · 2021-04-14T14:37:57+00:00

I am a gamer as well but I make sure to steer clear of the ones who make it a big part of their identity. They are the ones who spend every minute outside of work on their consoles. My cousin is a great guy and we frequently game together, but he will also often say he can't because of other priorities like working out, chores, etc. I would be ok dating someone like this. I think in the last two weeks we have played twice together because we have lives lol

I'm sure since you know about games you can also get a feel for how invested they are by even asking which games they are into and how they talk about them.

FrozenExpanse · 2021-04-13T04:46:13+00:00

I’m a gamer too.

I wouldn’t say ALL gamer guys are LV, it’s that gaming is a hobby - sedentary, requiring an enjoyment of fantasy - that appeals to LVs.

So there’s a higher concentration of LVM in the gaming community.

I think because of this a lot of people think if all gamers as LV.

CelebrationKey · 2021-04-13T15:01:34+00:00

So is it possible for a guy to be in to gaming but also be HVM? I mean, I am into gaming and consider myself to be HV/on the path to HV.

HVM are rare, HVM in gaming are even rarer and I would go as far as to say HVW in gaming are pretty rare too, so good on you for being one of the few! Gaming should be one of many hobbies and not one's entire personality. For most gamers it become their entire persona down to their home décor. Its easy to fall into gaming addiction too as with any entertainment only 'hobby.'

If gaming is the only interest I shared with a man I would run from them. I wouldn't even let a man know I gamed right away. Just about all men game anyway.

Title	FDS question about gamer guys?
Author	kingcasperrr
Upvotes	16
Comments	9
Date	April 12, 2021 11:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askfds/comments/mppujw/fds-question-about-gamer-guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/fds-question-about-gamer-guys.1629337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1629337

Comments