New to Dating Apps

major92653 · 2026-08-18T04:45:00+00:00

Some weird advice here, so I’ll share mine.

I’ve successfully dated multiple people in my days, and the only way to do this well is to be very organized… extremely organized.

I have great attention to detail, am organized, and some would say I have OCD., so I’ll tell you that even I had trouble dating multiple people. It’s work.

As for the addiction… just ride it out. It goes in waves and you’ll eventually grow tired, take a break, and then go back… it’s what we all go through.

Top_Piano2028 · 2026-08-18T00:59:26+00:00

If you want really addicting, join a sugar daddy website. Become a sugar daddy and realize you can date women who are 10-25 years younger than you for a small amount of money rather than deal with women your age or older who are complete trainwrecks and expect that same level of financial commitment in a different form eventually.

Dating apps shovel complete trainwrecks onto my plate. Seeking let's me at least find a sexy 20-25 year old. I am on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Feeld, tried BLK, tried WooPlus (I like them bigger), tried a few newer ones - they all had the same shitty profiles who were all bots.

Everyday I open my normal apps and just look at my matches and go ugh. It's some combination of over educated woman my age who wants a "long term partner", young girls who want a sugar daddy who I would not do that with (and try and charge like $1000 an hour), women in other countries like Asia or Africa using travel mode who want a green card husband, transgender women, obese women, older women, single moms who want a "provider protector bs" they found on female dating strategy, cute women who decided their profile should feature them in goretex and hiking outfits instead of anything remotely feminine or sexual, demisexuals, and occasionally someone who wants a free dinner.

Funny thing that proves my theory is I have seen probably a half a dozen of the same women on Feeld, Tinder, Bumble and now Seeking. Ones I have matched with and chatted too who claimed they wanted a normal relationship.

Seeking at least let's me message hot girls and talk real arrangements.

If you have 2-3k in surplus to put towards dating, I would strongly consider it. Wasting money on dates with women I wasn't even attracted to and couldn't get it up for once they were in my bed made me go to sugar dating.

As far as your traditional question goes to keep track - save their contacts with pertinent information and their photo - save the name, their town, age, and take a screenshot of their profile to add to contact. Don't do this for every single one but do it for the ones that are progressing and you are gonna meet with.

Also use pins, if you are on iphone you can put up to 9 there, this lets you keep track of the more serious ones and the newer convos and then move and prioritize people.

I have 9+ local sugar babies I have in my top rotation to hookup with on demand. I also find women in other cities and offer to fly them out. Makes it much easier to stomach when one goes dark or wants more than you can give or whatever else.

I actually have to fully put my phone on do not disturb or they will disturb me trying to start shit or meet with me. I work 6-7 days a week and simply need things on my terms and do not have time to be roped into their bs.

W_Herzog_Starship · 2026-08-17T16:35:11+00:00

As far as juggling women: Exercise caution.

There's an unwritten rule that women have you should keep in mind: "Men I'm interested in are not allowed to date"

Once they decide that, and find out otherwise, it won't matter how good your communication and boundaries have been. You're going to end up on "dating the same guy" and get harassed like it's their personal passion project.

Women on dating apps are generally post-divorce, post-children and complete nightmares.

That said, you can still have fun and companionship. Just play safe.

SireSweet · 2026-08-17T14:56:06+00:00

Older women know they have hit the wall decades ago. Their dating market value isn’t there anymore and they don’t have options like they used to.

So they either do what young men do- shotgun it.

And yes, that addicting feeling is part of the reason why young women have their sense of worth inflated. A woman is going to have 99 DMs from guys, whispers, etc. dating apps are made to be addicting because they want you to be on it.

Don’t use the dating apps. Do it in person, organically.

ProofConnect6521 · 2026-08-17T14:02:53+00:00

Hahaha, kind of funny. You’re receiving attention because of the age group. Women at that age have less options. Great husbands are married, good husbands are lonely still married and then there’s the rest of us. Having a house, a car, and a job puts you in the top 10-20%. Nothing to brag about. Be body weight operate and you just made 10%. Be on the handsome side and you are strongly in the 5th percentile maybe 1%.

They are also the same demographic for us. Great wives still married, good ones likely married and the rest is your dating pool. Women initiate 80% of divorces so these are women who likely abandoned their Relationships. I’m 48 and had a huge amount of trouble with this group. Not because of lack of interest because they all seemed the same. Photos from 15 years ago, heavy filters, mediocre job, empty nesters, and I would hear about their mental health problems before a coffee date. Not all are this way or bad but it’s enough to joke about it.

I date in the 30s. I have a young son. Women in that age group haven’t really experienced marriage. They tend to have young kids or want kids. They like the reliability, consistency, and security.

Dating apps suck. Go through all the women then delete your profiles. Come back six months later…same women. I refuse to use dating apps. Tinder is fine if you want an overseas wife, just set your location based on where you are looking. Westerners do this a lot so there are plenty of women looking to escape their home country.

As far as juggling women, if you’re dating even non-exclusive keep notes on your phone. I put Name-App I met them on- and follow it in a pretty standard format.

Objective-Fan-5464 · 2026-08-17T13:28:25+00:00

Dating apps are designed to be addictive. A match, a message, a new attractive profile gives you a little dopamine hit, and after 18 years of marriage that sudden validation can be intoxicating.

The fact that you're already noticing yourself getting consumed by it is worth paying attention to. Don't optimize your system for managing five conversations at once; limit the apps and start meeting women through other venues as well such as activities, classes, social events, friends, whatever gets you interacting with people without swiping.

The goal is to get better at dating again and not get better at dating apps.

tonyway7293 · 2026-08-17T13:19:58+00:00

I learned the best way to use them is by getting off of them.

I felt great at first like you did. Quite a few hookups. Outside of that, if you are seeking genuine connection they are trash.

Why? Because just like you have been getting attention from multiple women and liking it…. They are getting that times 50. Any investment you put in will be soon met by “ghosting” or other toxic behaviors because the “new shiny toy” attracted their interest, you are now old news and you will be right back to square one feeling like crap after you are ghosted, blocked and discarded (or worse, humiliated on your local “Are We Dating the Same Guy” Facebook groups).

I kept one woman on the line still as a FWB. We both understand the dynamics which makes it enjoyable.

I find all the apps toxic honestly.

Title	New to Dating Apps
Author	rum53
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	August 17, 2026 12:53 PM UTC (3 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1vqrion/new_to_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/new-to-dating-apps.1633374 https://theredarchive.com/post/1633374

Comments