am i falling down the redpill hole?

Nightlife811 · 2020-08-18T00:12:07+00:00

Again some red pill bullshit. No there is no alpha beta concept. Like itachi Uchiha once said: " Someones reality might just be someone elses Illusion ". You cant just say all women find this attractive or they all want this and that. It goes againts individuality. Oh no attractive women date attractive men what a nightmare. Attractive people have it better in terms of dating well no shit. Does that mean that average looking people dont get into relationships? No. Have you ever gone to a mall? Just go to a mall sit on a bench and look at couples. Most are not attractive or even average. All this pseudo chad bullshit has fucked your head. Try to get some social skills and try to improve. There is only one way to succes self improvement. Its a hard road but there is no other way.

Edit: you should also try to block all red pill posts and simply stay away from it. Instead of looking at those posts you can pick up a hobby and enjoy life more. I would rather die today with a heart full of love and happiness then live in misery with nothing but hate

Inareskai · 2020-08-18T07:01:33+00:00

Is it a redpill hole? I'm not sure, it easily could be. If you don't want it to be, stop engaging with redpill ideas.

Alpha/Beta isn't true. It wasn't true in the wolves the terms originally came from and it's not true in humans who already have a completely different social set up anyway.

Obviously there are going to be attractive people that others are going to pursue. That's life. Looks are going to impact at least people's first impressions, especially in more visually orientated places like bars, clubs and dating apps.

Where you're stumbling is the idea that because you are not the type of person who would necessarily do well in those environments, that you are going to be alone forever. The thing is that people don't exclusively fall for the hottest people. Some do, and some actively pursue that, but most people don't. People have their own set of preferences; personally, it seems my type is skinny, nerdy introverted guy. I still find the stereotypically hot people hot, but I don't want to date them (or even sleep with them). I want to date people I find interesting, funny, kind etc. And what people find interesting and funny is going to change between literally everyone.

Tl:dr - if you are reading redpill pages/engaging in redpill media, stop. It will only make you go down the rabbit hole. Your observations are blinkered; there is no reason to think you won't ever end up in a relationship, looks can matter but they're not necessarily the most important thing.

Yesm3can · 2020-08-18T03:06:31+00:00

Western world has a weird attitude when it comes to beauty.

I came from Asia before moving to the West and there, people call out someone for being fat, darker skinned or unattractive all the time. We have plastic surgery (double eyelids, jaw bones shaving, rhinoplasty, legs lengthening, etc), we have whitening cream, we have all the diet pills/methods/etc.

Even if someone is kind, smart, confident...it is still okay to say that it will be better if they would have looked more attractive, openly.

Attractive victims get more sympathy in the news and attractive people tend to be promoted faster. A European friend of mine moved to Singapore a few years ago and was surprised to see how pervasive the whole thing is.

Still I agree with u/Nightlife811, average and below average looking people got together all the time too. Because they are well...average. The majority. Besides, attractiveness (for platonic or romantic relationshipwise) may get one's foot on the door, but maintaining/keeping it, is something else.

Personally, I wish the West will be more honest about how much physical attractiveness are being taken into account still and that people are more accepting of beauty precedures like in Asia. So far we often get all snarky to people who have enchancements done on their own bodies, while at the same time, professing to respect people's body autonomy. That is some hypocracy.

Graineon · 2020-08-18T16:02:25+00:00

Physical attraction is physical attraction, true. There are many examples of people who are not 'physically attractive' though that have amazing relationships. One of my friends is pretty obese, pizza-face (in his late 20s) and he's been dating the same gorgeous girl for about 10 years. He's an AMAZING artist, talented and funny. The way she looks at him, he might as well be 'chad'.

There are many aspects that people find attractive. I actually met a girl once who admitted to me she had a fetish for short dudes (and wasn't into tall guys). She was pretty hot too, at least by my standards.

The thing is, although there may be some bell curve about what people find attractive, where tall/muscular/whatever might be at the top, there are always outliers. If you embody good energy - that doesn't mean bending yourself over to be nice - but are 'yourself' in the sense of dropping the role of the mask and just being free, fun, and enjoying your life just the way it is... those girls tend to come out of the woodworks.

MisterLionheart · 2020-08-18T16:11:48+00:00

Alpha/beta isn't binary any more than gender. Change your language and talk about confident/cock/funny/muscled men, because that's what TRP means when it says Alpha.

And yes. It's been proven several times that people who are more aggressive, kind of a bad boy, and more physically fit get more sexual partners. If you want to be that person, put in the work.

In a world where a woman mostly just has to be open to sex coming their way, and (shy, nerdy, awkward, or day) men need to work their ass off to get sex, the dating game is fucked.

If you want more women, work on becoming more attractive. Don't internalize misogyny, try to be a better potential partner.

globeglobeglobe · 2020-08-18T19:14:23+00:00

Looks, social ability, etc. definitely expand your pool of potential partners, but writing yourself off as permanently single is irrational and a sure path to failure. Accept your limitations, but improve yourself in whatever way you can. Even after I did this (late in undergrad), I found that I ended up ignoring/eschewing a lot of female attention because I thought nothing would come of it---so falling down the rabbit hole became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope that's not the case for you.

sunny2weather · 2020-08-19T05:37:33+00:00

The main thing women want is confidence. Be whomever you are, as long as you are sure of yourself, you will be attractive.

sfmark12 · 2020-08-19T17:21:55+00:00

ok the point i'm trying to make is i'm an average looking short guy with poor social skills and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. it makes me frustrating sometimes however i understand and i dont blame anyone for that. That's just the way it is. I made my peace with it.

Wouldn't you want to change? You can't change height, but you can improve your social skills.

InnsmouthMotel · 2020-08-19T20:34:41+00:00

a) alpha/beta bullshit isn't real. Read some actual primate theory, Chimps just fuck each other senseless to resolve basically everything

2) Some women like muscles, some don't. Pretty universally folks like confidence because it makes you someone people want to be around. If you meet women and simply lament about how all they want is chads, and not you, well no one wants that downer shit.

iii) People are all different. I'm a short chubby guy with shitty social skills and an autism diagnosis who didn't get anywhere until his 20s who thought something similar. But there are women out there who think I'm attractive and I've had relationships with.

4) Men don't exclusively fall for "hot" girls, they fall for girls they find attractive which differs widely. Women are exactly the same. Like you've already weirdly corralled men off here for only falling for "hot girls" but it worryingly disguises a fact that you don't think a woman can win you over with their personality. Women can be socially impactful as well yo.

Like srs the only person whose going to stop you thinking this is you. One of the tenants of shit like incels and the redpill is that it is a woman's job to stop you going down that rabbit hole, to prove your worth and their humanity. I'm not trying to be harsh but that responsibility can't be foisted onto others. It's great you can see this path but you gotta pull yourself out of this nose dive mang, no one wants to join you on a downward spiral

basura_time · 2020-08-20T01:58:55+00:00

I mean, some people are always more attractive. I have also known "alpha" females that got 90% of the attention from guys while normal girls like me barely got any. I was always jealous of them but I recognized that this wasn't the guys' fault and I found my strengths to get male attention when I wanted it. Once I stopped focusing on other people and focused instead on what I do well, I realized I could have almost any guy I wanted if I played my cards right.

Girls are the same way. Looks only go so far. The red pill will tell you women only say that, and deep down they only care about looks. And for some women that is true. But not all. And definitely not even most.

Go outside. Look around. The most ridiculous part of TRP is the concept that women "date up" lookswise. Almost any couple you see will be a woman who is WAY out of her man's league, in my anecdotal experience.

You have a chance, but you need to stop fixating on looks if you don't have them going for you. Have you seen the actor that plays Kylo Ren? He is HIDEOUS. I mean, really ugly, no offense. But girls DIG HIM. Same for Raimy Malik.

You aren't going to be single UNLESS you keep fixating on your weaknesses. So you're not great with social skills. You don't look great. SAME. You know what a lot of girls (not all of course) like? Good conversation. You can use texting to ease into the uncomfortable social nature of it. I have done this a lot with guys and it works great.

Learn your strengths. Forget about your weaknesses. And STAY AWAY from the red pill unless you want to become REPULSIVE to women. Because you know something? "red pill" is a minority of men. You know why? Because it doesn't really work. Most women are too smart and smell that kind of abusive bullshit a mile away.

Carloverguy20 · 2020-08-20T06:44:17+00:00

I know a bunch of people who have girlfriends and they aren't all that. You won't be single forever, it becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy if you think that way. The problem with guys who are average are that, they ask one girl out, and they get rejected, and after that they never try again. Everyone gets rejected, even Chad, and Tyrone get rejected. Alpha/Beta are used wrongly, being a cocky conceited douchebag is not alpha, and being a nice normal person is not beta.

Comfortable_Intern57 · 2020-08-22T15:40:28+00:00

I'm a woman and I'm demisexual, many of us are. I don't drool over Chads, personality and shared interests mean a lot more to me than how a guy looks. We are also sensitive and can pick up on your intentions and any mental health problems. So if you are giving off a bad vibe, you could be the hottest guy on the planet and we would run in the other direction.

Here are some tips: women need to feel safe, we don't like being approached by random guys on the street asking for our number. It's best to join a group, take some classes at a college, or get to know people at work, etc, but not with the intention of meeting a girl, first do it for yourself.

The idea is to get to know a woman first before asking her out.

Also, you should see about getting some help with your social skills, whether that's therapy, books, or online help with that. Practice makes perfect. Practice with a therapist or practice with other people. There's no harm in admitting you have a problem and working on it.

Misslieness · 2020-08-22T16:00:36+00:00

I think the thing that's often overlooked with this thought process is that people go for partners that are similar to them. Yes, attractive charismatic people are going to be more inclined to partner with other attractive charismatic people. Which also means average people (or even those below average) are likely to match up better in all areas of life with someone who is similar to them. It's also common for relationships to not be 'equal' like that, where one person may have supreme social skills and be average looking and the reverse be true for their partner. And that's because there are so many factors that go into attraction, and most of them we still can't even properly identify because it goes back to monkey brain attraction to things like the specific scent of each person.

KurkTheMagnificent · 2020-08-26T03:52:45+00:00

Beta Alpha is not black and white; there is a spectrum and it's probably at least 4-way not 2-way left and right.

Title	am i falling down the redpill hole?
Author	togglunar
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	August 17, 2020 7:04 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ibkjtk/am_i_falling_down_the_redpill_hole/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/am-i-falling-down-the-redpill-hole.164513 https://theredarchive.com/post/164513

Comments