(*) I'm pretty sure the answer is: you can't; she needs to do it for herself.

I have a crush. She crushes on me. It's been an intense 10 month crush-a-thon. It hasn't been anything more because 1) she worked in the same office, and just got a new job last week, 2) she insists that I subbordinate to her.

She's from a different culture. She's very strong minded. Very bright. Very independent. Very cute and sassy. Very well educated and on a high-level career path. But she has a fantasy that "the one" will sacrifice all his wants and needs for her. He'll be her "friend" forever. I'm okay with that, to a degree: she's been sexually assaulted, and I really like her. I can go without physical contact.

Here's an example of how things usually go.... I ask her out.

She enthusiastically says yes.... Then says, "but only as friends."

I used to say "Forget that. I want a date."

She used to reply, "Sorry, I don't do dates."

This went on forreeeverrrr until I finally gave in recently and said, "Sure, just as friends. Whatever."

Now she plays games, and makes me qualify why she should go out.... She says she's busy, and hmms and hawws about it. I finally say, "Look, I'm going __ at 6pm; if you want to go, call me."

She does.... We go out, have a reasonably good time. She talks non stop about politics. Awesome. No intimacy. No "connection." No banter. She has high walls.

Now she's very busy with work. Doesn't contact me much. She did tonight because I've been ignoring her. We chatted a bit, but nothing serious.

I want to make something of this, but she's putting herself in a dominant position and killing any kind of romance. It's not sexy when I have to subordinate myself. It's not sexy when she talks about politics. I feel like I'm at a college lecture.

With other women I'm really good at flirting and bantering. Not with this girl, however, when she puts herself above me.

Do you know how hard it is to spark something when a woman acts like a guy?